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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Birth worries and requesting a private room

21 replies

gonewithtthewind · 12/08/2022 14:00

I'm really worried about when the time comes to give birth. I'm terrified of hospitals due to ptsd from someone who assaulted me, who still works in a hospital setting (no idea where but it will be in the area I am).

I physically do NOT want my partner to leave me, I just don't think I can cope with being on my own in a hospital. It's giving me major anxiety and just makes me not want to be here due to the thought of giving birth and having to stay in hospital on my own. I'm already having nightmares about it, which I know seems ridiculous but my trauma is really come out at the moment all due to having to give birth and being at hospital. This is another reason why I want a private room as the thought of being on a ward is also terrifying for the same reason, with so many people coming and going and me not knowing who they may be. I know in some areas you can pay and I'd be fine with that but I can't find anything that says the hospital I give birth at will offer that? I will obviously tell my midwife all of this but im just worried about being dismissed and told to cope with it.

My other issue is that I don't want to go overdue by 2 weeks. Me and my partner both have trauma in that area, my partner is completely against me going over by two weeks and so am I. I want to be induced early 38/39 weeks? But I really don't know if that will be an option either. It's all just so scary and unknown and I feel like it's all really playing with my mental health.

I don't really want an elective c section but at this point im considering it 😞

I know this may seem odd, and it's a genuine question. I don't want to take away from people that need these things more than I do. So please don't be mean.

OP posts:

DoubleHelix79 · 12/08/2022 14:04

I'm sure others will be along soon with more knowledge, but in your situation I would consider a home birth. To my knowledge in most areas they are not only supported but encouraged, assuming aow risk pregnancy. All the best OP!

Original poster

gonewithtthewind · 12/08/2022 14:05

DoubleHelix79 · 12/08/2022 14:04

This is what I wanted but my pregnancy is high risk so I was told it isn't an option for me. I'll ask again though 😭

OP posts:

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 12/08/2022 14:07

I would very much hope that you won't be dismissed. Sorry to hear about what happened to you.

Unfortunately, no NHS hospital will be able to guarantee you your own room on an NHS ward, as it's impossible to predict how many people may need a separate room at the time you will need it. The rooms are assigned on the basis of clinical need and, although mental wellbeing is very important, there may be someone with an infection or some other pressing reason that means they have to take priority. If you have the means to pay for it, some NHS hospitals have a separate private postnatal ward. Your MW will know.

OnOldOlympus · 12/08/2022 14:10

A private room for someone with PTSD sounds like a reasonable adjustment to me, and while it may not be possible they should make every effort to accommodate a reasonable adjustment.

In terms of asking to be induced that’s a conversation you’ll need to have with your midwife about what will be right in your individual circumstances, especially if there are other factors in your pregnancy that are making you higher risk, but in most cases you can request to be induced once you’re approaching your due date.

Cinnabomb · 12/08/2022 14:14

@gonewithtthewind some hospitals allow you to pay for a private room, so that’s something you could ask about.

induction at term (40weeks) is definitely something you can discuss, as is an elective c section for mental health reasons. They are less likely to do an induction earlier (38 weeks) purely because you don’t want to go post dates. Is there a reason you’ve chosen 38 weeks?

Original poster

gonewithtthewind · 12/08/2022 14:16

Cinnabomb · 12/08/2022 14:14

@gonewithtthewind some hospitals allow you to pay for a private room, so that’s something you could ask about.

Thank you.
Sorry no, I just read that's around the time they may do a elective section so assumed it was the same. I'd be fine at it happening at 40 weeks. I just don't want to go over x

OP posts:

bbqhulahoop · 12/08/2022 14:20

If your pregnancy is high risk it's unlikely they'll let you go over anyway

PinkPrawns2 · 12/08/2022 14:23

When you discuss this with your midwife, ask if you can be referred to a specialist mental health/vulnerability midwife.

At my trust we have a specialist midwife who would discuss all your concerns, help make you a personalised birth plan and liaise with consultants/ward managers so that it is documented what accommodations you need when you're in hospital. In other hospitals this may be a consultant midwife's role or possibly something a PMA could facilitate too.

Good luck!

Original poster

gonewithtthewind · 12/08/2022 14:24

PinkPrawns2 · 12/08/2022 14:23

When you discuss this with your midwife, ask if you can be referred to a specialist mental health/vulnerability midwife.

Good luck!

I'm already under then I think but I've only spoke to them once and have heard nothing since so I'm not sure 😩

OP posts:

byvirtue · 12/08/2022 14:24

Personally I’d request a c-section you get a date you can book in the diary, you only have to stay one night and you get a good chance of getting a private room as long as you request it asap. My husband had one job and that was to get me a private room. He succeeded thank god!

ADayAlwaysHasToEnd · 12/08/2022 14:26

My hospital don't allow people to pay for private rooms post covid as they kept extra rooms incase of covid positive

3amAndImStillAwake · 12/08/2022 14:30

You can't pay for a private room at my local hospital anymore, but j was given one for mental health reasons after I had DD1. You could discuss this with your midwife?

webuiltthiscityonrockandwheat · 12/08/2022 14:30

Do you have a choice of hospitals? I had the choice of two so I chose the one with all private rooms. I don't know if they're allowing people to look round these days but if you can I would suggest that and see if there's a local hospital that has private rooms.
I was induced at 39 weeks with my first (high risk) and had an elective c section with my second at 39+5. They're reluctant to do them much earlier unless medically necessary. Chat with your midwife, she should be able to get you in touch with the mental health team who may be able to help you further

Asvan · 12/08/2022 14:33

OP I know you are high risk but have you considered a pool birth? You could also consider it just for pain relief. This way you get your own room, your partner can stay with you at all times and the midwife is not allowed to leave you unattended at any point. I had pool births with all 3 DCs and highly recommend it.

thunderonlyhappenswhenits · 12/08/2022 14:40

@Asvan you would get your own room when in established labour anyway. Pool birth or not. I think it's on the post natal ward afterwards op is worried about.

Op it's certainly worth asking but no guarantee unfortunately.

ClearButtons · 12/08/2022 14:50

Just a note on induction - i would check the induction policies if you don't wish to be alone during labour. My induction was 4 days and my partner could only visit during normal visiting hours (reduced at the time of my birth but probably longer now!) until I was in established labour so a lot of the time I was just by myself on the induction ward. I'd choose an elective over that in all honesty!

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 12/08/2022 14:59

Your preferred time of induction is the only thing they may have an issue with. Obviously your and your baby's life will be prioritised over a preference. But you should discuss this with your mw.

bcc89 · 12/08/2022 15:23

Can I ask why you want to be induced early, lovely? It's not something they generally do unless there's a medical reason, but maybe someone will be able to help x

Hatscats · 12/08/2022 15:30

Labour suite will be a private room - if straight forward birth you can go home straight from there, no need for the ward.
You are more likely to end up with a section or forceps from an induction though - and the induction process can be long and is usually not a private room.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/08/2022 15:36

Sounds like you need to get back in touch with your mental health team and explain about the anxiety nightmares etc.

Re private rooms, it really depends on trusts - some hospitals just don't have many and some will be prioritised i.e. women who dont have their babies with them post delivery.

Re induction early, if there's a history of having had a late term loss, they should know already but again, please do talk to your Mh team . If your pregnancy is high risk anyway, you might find they offer an earlier induction any way

Aus84 · 13/08/2022 10:56

You may not even need to stay. After my last birth, I was in the birthing suite recovering for a bit, then showered and got dressed, felt fine so went straight home. If you have an induction you may need intervention which might require you to stay longer. Same with c-section.
It’s so hard to plan for anything around birth and recovery so I would work on getting a good MH team around you prior to getting to that point.

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