Hi all 💕 new to this but need some help!
Me and my bf have been together nearly a year. Quite an age gap I am nearly 22 he will be turning 33 soon. I am currently nearly 12 weeks pregnant with our baby. I have been going out my mind deciding what to do for the best in terms of whether to go through with the pregnancy or not which is why I have left it later than I wanted to for deciding by now. I had felt like things had been going well between us but we have real communication issues, I've had a lot of realisations about us recently.
He is a thoughtful & loving man treats me better than previous relationships. A major issue I have a problem with is how much he drinks and how often. He will at least drink 5 days out of the 7, obviously what I am worried about is whether or not I am going to have the support I need and his behaviour when the baby comes (if I decide to go down this route) he is not aggressive or anything when he's had a drink just like a big child and not very mature considering his age aswell which is the last thing I am going to need. My dad is an alcoholic who I do not have contact with, my bf is similar in terms of the amount he drinks, being in denial, saying all the right things to me, but saying he is not dependent on alcohol but drinks for his mental health? I have tried speaking to him about how I feel, I don't want to come across as stopping him from living his life yet it seems it will only be me sacrificing and adapting my whole life, yet he is the one who has wanted this baby from day 1. However yesterday he point blank told me that he is not going to stop drinking at all. And then said that I should quit smoking (which I have already cut down by 10 a day) I don't like his attitude in terms of what he says goes. I don't think that is right when considering starting a whole life together.
He lives with his mum, his bedroom is a tip, which is something we agree on that it shouldn't be like that, he also is really fussy about food and only has about 10 foods he will actually eat and nothing healthy either, obviously when u put the lot together it doesn't make him come off well, and he is not looking after himself well, and I don't think he will be around for long at this rate.
I just think we should be more together on stuff. Am I being unreasonable ? I am just trying to do my best to think of the future, our health and happiness and our baby. I know you can't change someone but I am at a bit of a loss as this is not the life I imagined when thinking of having a baby and am feeling like getting out of it all completely.
Please be honest & kind in your response & feel free to ask me anything further, thanku :)