Pregnant with a toddler, exhausted!

[IslandGirl5]

Guess I’m just here for a rant and to feel like I’m not alone! I’m towards my second trimester and I have a 23 month old DD and just exhausted. “Morning” sickness is making me vomit most days, I work full time hours, still breastfeed and because of this so all the nights because DD won’t settle for DH, only the boob will do! I’ve just never felt so tired! And my partner is just wanting sex. Like he’s not pushing it but making these comments that just make me feel awful for not wanting it. But I just feel so gross and tired I literally just don’t think about it. Am I being unreasonable saying no right now? Please tell me it gets easier! Or at least let me know I’m not alone

Oh love, definitely not alone! Pregnancy is brutal second time round. My 2YO still napped and I’d go down with him no question. A lot of the housework just didn’t really get done. I had twins earlier this year and was getting something like 2 hours of sleep most nights, and I still think I was more tired in pregnancy!
Hard to tell whether your DH is an otherwise loving husband who doesn’t realise he’s being a pest, or an abusive asshole. Either way, step one is to tell him to stop asking. If you want sex, you’ll tell him.

Are you going to wean toddler before baby arrives or tandem feed? Not that it matters either way but if you wanted to wean just thinking the best thing you could do is getting on with that ASAP. DH could offer cows milk overnight and deal with the fall out when she inevitable refuses? Might stop pestering you if he’s tired!

Absolutely not unreasonable!!

I'm 31 weeks with #2 (my first is same age as yours and utterly insane lately) and not even at work at the minute and the last thing I want to do at the end of the day is have sex! Between the massive bump, the back, the sore bits, the pelvis, no sir. Sort yourself out, I will be going straight to sleep with all my pillows!

It does improve once the first tri symptoms ease! Congrats 🎊

Not unreasonable at all.
I'm 30 weeks with baby 3, DD1 is 3.5, DD2 is 2, so they both sleep through the night now but when I was pregnant on DD2 I had the same, I actually weaned DD1 off the breast whilst pregnant because I just found it too exhausting.
No advise really just solidarity, it does get easier I promise x

God thanks ladies just reading these has calmed me down a little 😅 hes coming from a good place, he’s understanding just doesn’t get it and gets offended when I just say I don’t want to! I’m considering weaning, I wanted to go until she was 2 so as of next week I’ll have made it! Tandem feeding is a lovely idea but for my own sanity I might have to wean! Thanks for your stories guys, your all superheroes!

Ah yes I remember that time well.

Breastfeeding was the first thing to go. DD was also 23 months, and I did want to get to 2, but it was so painful. I was fortunate as DD was sleeping through by then, so we were only feeding to sleep. It was more for comfort than anything, so I was almost dried up too. I gave cuddles still to sleep, and offered no boob. If she asked, or pulled at my top, I explained there was no more mummy milk, and offered some cow milk instead. She progressed pretty quickly from needing to be held to sleep to falling asleep by herself in her own bed after that.

As for the sex, I found I had to be as blunt as I could, even though it hurt his feelings. Things were pretty dry down there, so it was uncomfortable, plus the just not wanting it. I genuinely think guys sometimes can't comprehend that sex doesn't feel as good for us as it does for them. He never pestered, but it was clear he wanted it. He was duly informed his hand would have to do, and if I wanted any part of it I would say so.