'Your bump is so neat'/ You're so slim

[Pregnantpolly]

Four times in past two days I've been told my bump is so neat for 28 weeks. I don't actually consider it a compliment and think insinuating someone is small really pricks my worried.
Thankfully I had a midwife appointment on Tuesday so know I'm just right on size.

Anyone else get slightly upset by well meaning comments about your bump?

I had this a lot in pregnancy but the other way round. Blimey you can't have 10 weeks to go, are you sure it's just one etc etc.

It's really frustrating and I don't know why people feel the need to comment, you wouldn't comment on peoples weight if they weren't pregnant!

Ps congratulations :)

I had that with both of mine "you're tinnnyyyyy". Both born completely healthy at full term around 7lb mark. My midwife said my stomach just didn't stretch any bigger than that!

@Pregnantpolly I'm 28 weeks and also don't want anyone mentioning the size of my bump! I think the only thing for people to say (if they really had to say something) would be "don't you look lovely with your pregnancy glow" - even if like in my case there is no glow, just looking knackered 😂
I agree you don't want people making not educated comments about whether baby is too small or too big, there's enough to worry about.

Are you tall? I was enormous from day 1 so I’d have loved to be neat, I was the size of a small car. I think people are trying to be nice, don’t let it worry you.

Congratulations!

Your bump is so huge!
Your bum is so neat!
Your bump is so nondescript!
Your bump is so average and
No Comment at all!

Seriously, try not to get the hump about fuck all, or to put people in a position where they can’t do right for doing wrong.

Your bump is so neat is a greeting, not a serious remark that needs dissecting.

I didn't look very pregnant first time and people made comments. I looked super pregnant the second time and people made comments. I was happier the second time with how I looked. There will always be comments

I can remember being told on the same day of my first pregnancy in the same clothes that I looked really big and looked really small.

People say all kinds of stupid shit.

I've gone the other way, I'm absolutely enormous, third baby, weight gain, swelling and the heat, it's unbearable. People think it's OK to comment on too, honestly I wish people would just shut up. Sorry you're going through it at the other end of the scale OP. The only saving grace is today I'm 40 weeks, hopefully baby makes an appearance soon. Congratulations btw x

I agree with @FreudayNight .whatever you say can be wrong. Even 'you look well' if actually you feel like crap.

Make no reference at all and some will complain their pregnancy isn't acknowledged.

You said it yourself, they are well meant. People are only trying to be nice and it's just one of those common phrases said to pregnant people.. Think less into it. When the baby is here you won't have as much time to overthink things and will spend less time reading too much into things.

I got quite a lot of “your bump is neat” comments and I am obese! I took it to mean that my bump looks round or something. It’s a weird comment when you think about it 😂 I happened to carry everything at the front so at 40 weeks I did look like I was trying to shoplift a beachball. Don’t let it get to you, people say all kinds of intrusive stuff and it carries on until baby becomes a toddler!

I got this a lot and honestly I couldn't get worked up about it - I'm a slim woman with a slim frame and I had smallish babies. My bump was neat!

If this is prickling your worries to the extent that you're still thinking about it now, I'd be speaking to your midwife about prenatal anxiety. It can really sneak up on you.

People are offended by anything, personally this would be a compliment to me I often got asked if I was having twins I wasn’t 😒, in fact some women who I never seen before at dcs school screamed at me in the playground “wow how huge are you!!” And my sister said “you have the biggest pregnancy bump I’ve ever seen” so could be worse 🤷‍♀️

I much prefer hearing I'm neat or small, than 'blooming' or 'sprouting'.

Iv had many a conversation recently about this and a simple 'you look well or nice' is much nicer to hear.

I don't really like unsolicited comments and I think I avoided them totally in my first pregnancy. This time I had a comment last week when I went to get my 28 week bloods at the GP surgery. Similar comment to you @Pregnantpolly that I was nice and tidy for 28 weeks. I told the nurse that it was my strong abs holding it in (which is true!) as I'm quite sporty.

I think the best way to deal with it is to have a pre-rehearsed answer to whichever comment you will be affected by, that way you can be on the upper hand if you get one.

My parents keep saying how big I am - how I haven’t punched them I don’t know. My mum even said to me the other month, are you sure you got your dates right and your not 2 months ahead? I just looked at her and shook my head.

The worse part is my SIL is pregnant the same time and was 10 weeks ahead of me (now had the baby) and my dad said “oh I think your the same size now as X was full term” ha ha yes great thank you for that.

MIL even jumped on the band waggon and said OH HAVENT YOU GROWN! Well yes I am 31 weeks…

Then the other day a friend said how neat I was, then again she was pregnant with twins so I took that with a pinch of salt!!

I also hate the comments, especially “blooming” which to me implies women are like flowers in bloom-like we’ve finally reached our life purpose by being pregnant. People mean well though

People need to learn that you never know what a pregnant woman is experiencing and that these comments are so often taken poorly. The only acceptable comment is "you look great". I'm having a growth restricted baby, and 2 weeks ago a strange man on the street tried to play what he thought was a nice game of "guess your gestation". He meant it in a lovely way, but I could have cried with frustration. i'd love to be told i'm large and round right now, other women I'm sure would love the "you're tiny" comments, but yes, people are just massively insensitive and don't think that someone could be going through actual medical issues before commenting. I'm so sorry people are upsetting you OP!

I had slim comments... they didn't bother me. Just a random opinion, chitchat.
Sorry, but gotta advise you that you'll hear even more uninvited opinions after baby is born. Thick skin time !!

35 weeks with twins and if one more person tells me "I'm so neat for having twins" I'll scream.

I'm 5'8 and a size 16 so not a small person, I'm bigger than I was full term with DC2 who was 9lbs7oz and in total agony with the weight in my pelvis. I'm sick of hearing it!

I had that too op so can relate. "You don't look pregnant at all from behind!" "You're tiny" just what I wanted to hear in the run up to a growth scan ffs. That small bump then actually grew a lot so I've also experienced all the shitty "you're huge!" comments that are at the other end of the spectrum. Had a massive bump second time round so lots of comments again.

Totally get it. I’m 38 weeks with second baby and if I could count the number of times people have said ‘you’ve got such a neat bump’ or ‘your bump is so petite’ 🙄

A close friend even recently mentioned how small my bump was and suggested I check if everything was okay 🤦‍♀️

Basically you can’t win! It also has no bearing on the size of your baby either. My first was 8lb7, expecting another 8lb+ this time too-some people just carry differently!