Worried about not getting to hospital in time / not being taken seriously

[CoalCraft]

Hello! Am expecting #2 and currently at 37+4, so technically in the "any day now" bit. I'm feeling generally relaxed and calm about things but there's one thing that bothers me and that's a fear of not getting to the hospital in time, or getting there and being sent home, then not getting back in time. I really want medical staff on hand during the birth (mostly in case baby needs help) and do not want to give birth in the back of the car!!

Why am I so concerned? Well my first labour was extremely quick (3.5 hours from me first noticing something was up to baby coming out), and also my contractions weren't painful. I went into triage for bleeding (bloody show) and though I did start to get uncomfortable the midwives assumed it couldn't be labour because I had no pain. When a Dr finally checked I was already 10 cm dilated and feeling the urge to push. Babe was born 20 mins later.

I did have other symptoms last time and assuming I get the same things again I should recognise it myself this time, but I'm worried I'll get to the labour ward and be sent home for contractions not being painful. I've even wondered if I should lie and say they hurt but I'm not sure it's ever wise to lie to HCPs.

Of course this labour could be long and agonising! But if it's like last time I'm worried there'll be a real risk.

Anyone else been in a similar situation with a previous quick birth and/or relatively painless labour? Did the labour ward take you seriously. I have an appointment with my midwife next week and will ask then but would like to hear from others in the meantime.

My first labour was 4 hours, the second was 2 hours long. Made it to hospital, it like you, I had my worries I wouldn’t.

How far away is the hospital you’ll give birth in? Have you considered a home birth as an option? (If you are low risk of course). This is what I did with our third baby.

Talk it over with your midwife, go into detail about your previous experience. With a first baby, they see so many false starts that a woman presenting without much pain will automatically trigger their 'probably still very early labour' assumption. Now that you have a history to go by, they should take you more seriously.

Also, I had a <3hr birth and nearly didn't make it to hospital. I had a homebirth the next time, which took twice that long. 😑 I also know of women who've had <2hrs for their first birth, have inductions recommended for subsequent because the risk of dangerously fast delivery is higher.

My mum had a two hour painful labour with her first, my brother.

My dad was away at a funeral overnight two weeks before her due date with me so when she had some twinges in the night she rang her FIL who drove her to the small private nursing home. Of course the twinges promptly stopped, she was examined and wasn’t dilated at all and FIL was called to come and collect her. Mum was eating lunch as he was a drive away when she looked at her apricot pudding and got the urge to push. She rang the bell and the tea lady came. No deliveries were imminent so the nurses were also at lunch and a very put-out matron appeared to tell her she wasn’t even in labour and ended up delivering me on the bed with the tea lady assisting. No time to get to the delivery room.
In those days you were usually handed a cleaned and wrapped baby but because they were caught off-guard I was handed to my mum naked as soon as I came out and immediately curled back into the foetal position so I was a tiny oval and she panicked, crying out “It’s too small! It’s too small.” Although it was quick and painless she went into a bit of shock and couldn’t stop shaking for a while.

She was so lucky she’d gone to hospital and that I was born before grandpa had deposited her back to our isolated village house.

— mum’s gynaecologist (I don’t they were called obstetricians then) was booked to attend both births and didn’t make either in time! I don’t think nurses generally delivered babies at that nursing home.

Thanks for sharing experiences all. Think I'll just have to talk things over with my midwife, perhaps get her to put a note on my electronic file (is that a thing?) and then be very stubborn on the day and keep repeating my history till they let me in!

I'm about 25-35 mins from the hospital depending on traffic. I'm not keen on the idea of a home birth. DD needed quite a lot of attention at birth with subsequent NICU stay and while there's no indication that this one would and I'm hoping to give birth with just my husband and a midwife or two in the room (as opposed to the circus that was there last time!), but nevertheless I'd find the thought of the neonatal doctors/nurses being just down the hallway very comforting. Also, with a home birth, wouldn't the risk then be that the midwife doesn't reach you in time?

1st was over 24 hours
2nd was about an hour
3rd about 3 hours

They don't always get faster with each one. Have a plan in place and trust yourself to know when your in labour.

I had a similar situation as you with my first and when I spoke with the midwife i was told to have paracetamol and a bath at home. When I did go into hospital after speaking with the midwife the second time I was fully dilated and ready to push
I'm also pregnant now. When I raised this issue with the midwife, she said that when I call to say I'm starting contractions etc to say that I would be coming straight into hospital. Basically not to ask to come in but to explain my previous pregnancy and then to say you were coming in straight away.

I was quick with my first.

With my second they told me to come in as soon as I felt anything at all. They didn't perform any internal checks because the midwife said it was pointless if not your first.

They let me stay and baby was born just over an hour after we arrived.

They've told me that if I was to have a third to have a home birth lol.

How close is the hospital to you? Is a home birth totally out of the question?

I wasn't believed with my first, ended giving birth alone in hospital room while DH ran to fetch help.

Second was home birth. This was agreed as we were living 45 minutes down country lanes from nearest hospital, so midwife thought it was better to come to me than risk a side of road scenario. (Added to which, it was heavy snow that day...). I had to call as soon as I felt anything. The midwife than just hung around my house for the afternoon (then when it did get going a few hours later it was quick again).

Obviously homebirth won't work for you, but I would go to hospital when you ready and point out thats how you felt X time before last was born.

From my experience, you're more listened to on your second (still not nearly enough 🙄) and there aren't any of these silly rules about 'don't go to hospital until your contractions are precisely 3.2 minutes apart and the pain is a 7/10', I was just told to go as soon as I thought things were kicking off.

Definitely talk through your concerns with your midwife though.

My midwife just said tell them it's not your first birth and it was quick last time. They should take you more seriously if you have a history of it.

I refused to leave the hospital with DS1. He was born an hour later. So you can refuse to leave.

DS2 was born about 7 minutes after DH called 999 (and a minute after the paramedics arrived). Total labour 2 hours. I know you don't want a home birth, but the paramedics were absolutely fantastic. So if that's the way it happens, please don't worry. They will do their absolute best for you and baby. They did ask DH to call a midwife straight after DS was born!

I faked painful contractions to get midwives to check my cervix as I live a long way from hospital and didn't want to be sent home. I was in no pain whatsoever at the time, but when they checked I was 4cm so they let me stay. My baby was born 2h30 later - if they'd sent me home I wouldn't have had time to get back.

I had similar. 3hr labour with DC1, and i wa a concerned about getting to the hospital in time with DC2, which was one of the many factors in me choosing home birth.
Midwife arrived very quickly after me ringing - within the hour, and I’d called at the first few niggles of contraction pain.
Eveb with DC3, who was born just after an hour after my first contraction, the midwives arrived 6 mins before baby according to my notes. They don’t mess about getting to you

Even if you do go in, and aren't ready and they say you should go home, just don't! They can't force you to leave, so I would just stay. Explain your previous birth and I'm sure it'll be fine.

I live 2.5 hours away from hospital when I was pregnant the 2nd time and I was so so worried as well but it did work out fine in the end! All the best x

I am a midwife. Make sure you mention you had a precipitate birth last time. Of course it may not be this time but the likelihood is it will be quicker as most 2nd babies are quicker than the 1st.

It is actually one of the questions we ask to triage women and if the answer is yes we invite them straight in.

I would also call after you have a few contractions.

I had a precipitate labour with my 1st, I wasn't a midwife then and remember being told before mu placenta was even out that if I have another to call at the 1st contraction because it would probably be quicker.

If they do try and send you home just go for a walk around the hospital, if they have cafe go there and wait a while and if it stays the same go back and say you aren't comfortable going home. Some hospitals will have a place for 'early labour' and you can wait it out there. I work on a birth centre and usually once a woman comes in with a previous quick delivery, she doesn't go home again. Things can change so quickly, especially once your waters break!

Speak to your midwife at your next appointment and see if they can put it really clearly on your notes that your first was very quick!

You/your partner will also need to explain this when you get to the hospital and insist that you're examined straight away.

If they send you home I would insist on staying or head to the nearest cafe so you're still on site. They can't physically remove you from the building.

I told my midwife the second time that I wouldn't be in pain - don't think she believed me. I presented at the hospital because I could feel contractions (they didn't hurt just pressure) and they tried to send me away. I demanded an exam and I was 8cm

First was very fast. Notes showed active labour was only an hour as they checked me around midnight and I was 2cm (admitted after induction) then at 7.30 I was 10cm and there was mild panic.

At one of my midwife appts with DC2 I mentioned I didn't know when to go to hospital as I'd been brought in for induction previously so couldn't remember the 10/45 timing thing. She looked at my previous notes and just said to come in as soon as I felt a twinge as I was down as having had a fast labour previously and I wouldn't be turned away.

Thanks all, am feeling a bit better about it all. There is a waiting room just outside the delivery ward (I think intended for eager grandparents and that sort of thing) so if necessary I will just park myself there. I will say that the hospital has been much better at listening to me this time round throughout pregnancy as a second timer so fingers crossed that will continue.

@00deed1988 Thanks it's great to have a midwife's insight. I will definitely make a mental note of the term "precipitate labour" - always helps to know the terms I think!

With my first my waters didn't break until just before she started crowning. DH still talks in horrified tones about how dramatic the jet of water was 😳

My entire labour was 2 hours with my first. Was advised by midwives to plan a home birth but would have rather been in hospital. Second time I told the hospital at the first twinge my first was quick and they were happy to see me straight away. Said I wasn't in active labour and just as I was walking out the room things really kicked off, I tend to relax once I'm in hospital and contractions slow down. Anyway second labour was 4.5 hours (of agonising unmedicated back to back lying on my back) so second isn't always quicker!

My first was 4 hrs from first contraction, my second 45 minutes.

With my second the moment I had a contraction (they were intense straight away) we went to the hospital and she was born 15 mins later. With my first I was so quiet with the pain they didn’t believe me until they examined me and I was fully dilated so I made sure my dh understood that I wanted him to advocate for me and not take no for an answer with my second labour.

Also with my second there was no bloody show and my waters didn’t break until 10 mins before she was born.

Looking back I remember with both labours being uncomfortable all day so listen to your body for anything like this. I can’t even put my finger on what the difference was but it was like feeling unsettled and restless.

As PPs have said, midwives should take you more seriously if it's your second time, especially if your first was quick.

My advice is to consider planning for a home birth just in case it's so quick that you can't get to the hospital. Better for the midwives to be rushing to get to you, while you labour in relative safety at home, than you giving birth in the car or at the side of the road (my worst nightmare!) Of course if you plan for a home birth you can always go into hospital. It's just that you'll have a home birth kit of essentials from the midwife team and you'll be on their radar just in case it all happens really quickly. If baby comes before midwife, you call 999 for an ambulance.

I had my second at home - it was a planned home birth although I still wasn't sure whether i'd stay at home or go into hospital when the time came. I'm glad I had planned the home birth because I wouldn't have made it to the hospital. Midwife arrived with about 10 minutes to spare. It was so fast we called an ambulance (before midwife got there) but didn't need the paramedics in the end, they were just in the way! Although it was reassuring to have the ambulance there just in case baby or I needed it. They hung around for a bit for that reason.

I had a quickish first and because I live 45 mins from hospital they gave me the option of an induction before my due date, which I took.