mean comments - what do you do?

[mitfordsisters]

I'm 36 weeks and on my final day at work yesterday, a colleague told me I look as though I'm having twins eg bigger than I should be.

She is thin; I'm average size - my face is a bit chubby and my bump is about average.

I'm having revenge fantasies and feel it was so mean especially considering she's had kids herself.

What would you do? I'm tempted to ring her up on Monday and have it out with her. Am I being oversensitive?

Just ignore it. I'm 37 wks and I've had allsorts of comments ranging from oo you're massive to hmmmm you're quite small for your dates and it drove me insane and paranoid!!! For some reason a bump seems to be a permission slip for everyone to have an opinion and voice it!!! Just ignore it and get on with enjoying your time off work and putting your feet up!!!

I was told at 35 weeks that I looked like the michellen man! I just ignored comments, my bump was tempory -their stupidity was for life!

She isn't being mean, she has no idea what to say and tbh probably isnt interested in your pregnancy but feels she must comment, she has one of two choices 'ooh, aren't you big, it must be twins' or 'aren;t you lucky, what a neat and tidy little bump'
That's all.
Don't worry about it, I'm 28 weeks and always getting comments (see my profile pic for HUGE baby bump!!)

That puts it in perspective VS

I just said "Do you know, I love this bump" and walked off.
My boss had quite a public swipe at me (resulting in another colleague stepping in to stick up for me, unnecessarily!) and I thought: "What a twat. With issues."

Honestly, it's so easy to be oversensitive to these comments especially if you feel the size of a house and have all the other pregnancy symptoms on top of it, I really don't think she would have meant to mean, just chill out for the next few weeks and look forward to meeting your baby.

I agree with VS. I have to say thinking back I am sure I made a comment or two about the size of a friends bump - not meaning anything by it. Of couse now I am pregnant I am mortified with myself for being so insenstive, but I honestly never meant to upset or hurt. So unless your colleague is normally a cow who makes nasty comments, I really would just brush it off.

I have big bumps, especially relative to my size, and loved being told I was big. It made me feel lovely and womanly. Try and see it like that?

I am 35wks and am getting annoyed by the same sort of comments! Like you I was average size to start with (well, big, but I wouldn't say I was obese or anything) and yes I have put on more than the recommended amount of weight during preg, which is entirely my fault for eating so much and not exercising at all, but honestly you would think women would have more tact than to comment on a colleague's size like that - they wouldn't do it if you were just fat and not pregnant would they? HOW RUDE is what I think.

Having said that, the comments are so frequent that now I just laugh them off, and tell myself it's because I am normally so slim that they see such a difference now I'm pregnant while not being technically true it makes me feel a lot better!!!! And I agree with the other posters, the people who make these comments don't usually do it to be mean, they just don't know what to say to pregnant people. Often when they see my face they try to retract their comments and only start digging themselves deeper which is q funny!

"on my final day at work yesterday"

Wait and see if it still bothers you when (if) you return after maternity leave and then have it out with her

Message withdrawn

My 'Fuck Off And Die' glare is so perfected by now, I didn't get many whilst preg. with DS2.

If I did get any, I retorted with something equally rude.

I'd get complete strangers coming up to me in the supermarket saying that with DS1, thinking they were being hilarious.
Think it was just a bad joke.
This time around, some people have asked if I was 'this huge' with DS1, and others say how small and compact the bump is. I'd rather they comment on the size of the bump rather than the whole of me though.

What you said, Mitfordsisters, has really made me think about something very similar I said to a colleague of mine when she was due to go on maternity leave - I was sympathising with her that she was already so big and still had a month to go... but I never even considered that she might be majorly hurt by such a comment. Will def not be making any similar comments in the future now I've seen your post. However irritating it must be I think most people you know are just trying to think of something to say (I certainly was) and are certainly not out to upset you.

With complete strangers, however, it's another matter entirely!!