When did you share your pregnancy news?

[MadCatsAndKittens]

I've got a couple of friends who have recently shared their pregnancy news at about 1-2 weeks pregnant. It's exciting but it makes me feel a bit anxious for them. I know everyone's different but having been through two traumatic pregnancies and births with all sorts of problems, I was very cautious about telling people. But that aside, surely it's best to wait until an initial scan first before telling people?

‘I think it's classier to wait as many months as possible.’

@KosherDill that’s quite a bizarrely judgemental way to explain it. Do you really mean classier? There’s nothing classy in loss or anxiety. Telling a close friend or a sister might help some people.

There’s old stigma in waiting for the 12weeks scan. If some people want to tell earlier then I certainly wouldn’t judge them for not being ‘classy‘ enough.

‘for people that struggle to get pregnant, being pregnant in itself it's a major milestone.’
Very true. This really resonated with me @Longbin

Although I’m unfortunately no longer pregnant just the fact that I now know I can get pregnant is a huge relief. It feels enormous. For anyone close who’s been supporting me during TTC/IVF I’d be ok with them knowing what happened.

Scone pregnancy my first miscarriage (when didn't know I was pregnant until after I lost the baby we were ttc but I had mistaken a bleed for period) I told people 8 weeks but lost the baby at 12 weeks.

Third pregnancy After second miscarriage I waited and only told My mum but I lost that baby too and still had to tell people at work that I need a week off for surgery. I was hold out for 20 Weeks

So @ChagSameachDoreen I hope you realise that the "bundle of cells" you refer to was my future family that I will
never have- How very insensitive.

People should be able to Tell whomever they want whenever they want and not have some random person say they shouldn't share the news until 12 weeks.

Told best friend as soon as I had a positive test as I would have told her if i'd misscarried anyway.

Told brother over the phone at 8 1/2 weeks as my Dad had gone in to hospice and i needed to travel 5 hours to be there but was vomiting and druged up on anti-emetics. Told parents in hospice a couple of days later. Had hoped to be able to hold off longer because my Dads brain tumour had affected his social norms/manners and inhibition, so I knew once my Dad knew he'd go through his contact list telling everyone and anyone, regardless of being asked not too. As it was he was too unwell, so only told the handful of people who visited before he died, which was nice because they were all people who could be trusted to be discreet and my Dad was so proud. Told extended family after Dads funeral, as I'd had Scan and NIPT results by then.

I told my best friend as soon as I found out, around 4-5 weeks I think? A couple of weeks later we told my fiancés parents as we were seeing them for Christmas and we don’t see them very often due to distance. Told my very close family around the same time.
Told everyone else after the first scan. Each to their own though really but I didn’t realise you’d know as early as 1-2 weeks, you learn something new every day!

@Awoooga you were right, you can't find out at 1-2 weeks.

My best friend found out the day I took the test. Then I told my mum the next day. PIL found out at about 6 weeks as I had a bleed and they gave me a lift to the EPU. Everyone else got told at 12 weeks after the scan. I wanted to wait until very late to tell everyone else, but we were so buzzing after the 12 week scan that we couldn't help ourselves!

I told my close family and friends early doors, as I'd had really poor mental health in my first pregnancy, plus really bad sickness. For me, knowing that my close network know what's going on is really helpful and takes a lot of pressure off- in my first pregnancy, I tried not to tell til 12 weeks but it felt like a nightmare having to make excuses for not doing anything, and I felt so alone and ill.
Also, I didnt make an announcement as such, just casually mentioned it when I saw them.
If I do miscarry, then I would need those same people to support me. I can see why you might not want to put your news all over Facebook immediately, but to be fair, I wouldn't want to do that at any point...

A few days after for my mum, because she guessed. 12 weeks for everyone else we were close to. 20 weeks for work (couldn't hide it anymore). Didn't announce on social media until a few days after he was born, so many people had no idea if I hadn't seen them for a few months.

I was very superstitious and it probably wasn't very healthy.

Withy first pregnancy, we kept it pretty quiet, not telling most people until after our 20 week scan. I then suffered pre term birth at 23 weeks and lost the babies (they were twins) and it was awful as some people at e.g. Work had only recently found out and so congratulated me, and I then had to explain they had died.

Have had a couple of other pregnancies (including 1 success with DS). Currently pregnant and I have told my immediate family and close friends very, very early as I want the support and it is easier to explain you are feeling sick or if something goes wrong, but being more carful with work and DH doesn't want to share early (will tell his family at 16 weeks as we are visiting and it will be obvious).

So... overall - it really matters what works for you. I like people to know so I can talk about it, my husband likes privacy and doesn't want to risk worrying or upsetting his family if things go wrong. There is no right answer.

My question to myself has always been, "If things went wrong, is this someone I would want to talk about it with?" So I told my mum and a couple of very close friends early on, and others gradually as time went on.

About 16 weeks, just told people as and when.

i thought annoucing our pregnancy to my partners family would be an exciting time, it turned out to be the worst time of my life, with his mother telling me it wasnt to late to get rid, just because she wasnt happy!!!

we were happy and couldn't wait to 12 weeks to announce it as we wanted support either way, but honestly we wouldn't get it from his family anyways...

Anyways i am now 12 weeks and a happy health baby is on way, fingers crossed for a very healthy and successful time to be in adulthood.

First time round I was very young and excited, we told people around 8-9 weeks. This time after 5 years of trying and 3 losses, the pregnancy became ‘not secret’ anymore after my 12 weeks scan. But with each of my losses I told close family and friends and I’m glad I did as I desperately needed the support.

Parents deliberately about 5 weeks. Others as and when it came up. So with a load of people with 2nd pregnancy (first successful one) it was at 10 weeks as we were at a wedding and people asked why I wasn't drinking. There were very few people I actively told, but I couldn't be arsed lying about it when asked.

I’d suspect people that share their news at the 1-2 week stage are going to be complete pregnancy bores.

We told parents at 12 weeks-ish, some close friends earlier but most people only when they started to suspect due to my lack of waist - at about 20 weeks.

I managed to not tell my eldest until I was 7 months!

I’d suspect people that share their news at the 1-2 week stage are going to be complete pregnancy bores.
Or complete fantasists given that 1-2 weeks pregnant isn't even a thing as conception is roughly at the end of week 2.

I wonder if the 1-2 week thing is a bit of confusion on the OP’s part. If her friends have done a ClearBlue test saying ‘1-2’ then they’re actually 4-5weeks pregnant.

My sister - 8 weeks
Friends and family after 12 week scan
Work 22-24 weeks (with fully formed plan for maternity leave and return date).

I am very old fashioned supersciousthough, didn't buy a thing until 30 weeks and didn't find out the sex. Baby's were born in 2004 and 2006 for reference.

dd1 we told parents & my siblings when we found out and everyone else after the 12 weeks scan.

ds1 & ds2 again; parents & my siblings straight away and then everyone else after 20 week scan.

I don’t usually show until around 25/26 weeks. I’m now pregnant again and I think we will do the same this time; 20 weeks ish.

People who needed to know - as early as possible, because I wanted their support. Earliest was a friend the day after I got the positive test, because my head was still spinning and we were meeting up for a boozy meal which had been planned for several weeks!

Work - when I felt too bloated to get away with it any longer, I think about 17 weeks.

People who didn’t need to know - as late as possible / never. I was heavily pregnant in the winter so styled it out with a big coat fairly often, then eventually surprised some acquaintances who saw me pushing a pram or babywearing!

I feel very sorry for any friend of yours that may dare tell you early about their bundle of cells and then miscarry for you to say its too much of a weight for you to "be there" for them. What a horrible way to view friends who may need support.

For what it's worth though I told my parents at 5 weeks and planned to tell most people after 12 week scab but awful sickness gave it away at about 8 weeks to my colleagues and anytime i saw anyone.
Since then I've had 3 miscarraiges and it was awful telling my closes friends that I was pregnant and we lost in a MMC so the subsequent pregnancies I have told my closest friends and the support was amazing. Being able to talk about my anxiety, having friends check in on me and when we lost those babies I felt I had my support network around me.

At the end of the day unless you feel its too difficult to be excited for your friends or be supportive for them no matter how many weeks they are then you clearly shouldn't be there friend

That's what I meant

I usually wait until 8 weeks to tell my parents. But after 3 miscarriages, I told my best friend asap. She had a few miscarriages and had been trying for ages and was about 3 months pregnant when I found our I was expecting and she gave me some really good tips about getting on aspirin and progesterone early.

Thankfully this is the furthest I have got to and I'm grateful for her advice and input. I told my mum at about 5weeks this time because I really needed her support. My other immediate family found out last week at 21 weeks. I haven't told anyone else really. I'm sure they will realise I'm pregnant at one point or another if I see them.

I was about a month in when I told my best friend. I'd already had a very early miscarriage a couple of months before and coping with that alone (other than DH who was great) was incredibly hard for me so I wanted someone I could trust to support me.
I was about 9 weeks when I told immediate family. Ideally I would have waited until after the 12 week scan but we were having a big get together at Easter and there's always copious amounts of food and wine so I knew I couldn't have disguised it/hidden it the whole Easter weekend.
Other wider family and friends were told after the 12 week scan.