Pregnant after vasectomy and terrified.

[onecourgettetoomany]

Long story short. Years of infertility, recurrent early losses, multiple rounds of IVF before DC1, DC2 arrived naturally a year after DC1. DC2 has a neurological genetic condition inherited from me that is more severe than mine and has caused significant developmental delays and probably ASD and learning disabilities. Now 3 years post vasectomy I'm early 40s and pregnant. Now I would have loved another child and I already love this little one but DC2 almost died twice from this condition and there's a 50/50 chance that any child I have will inherit the genetic mutation. The condition could present mildly as it does with me or it could be more severe, even more severe than in DC2. I'm scared for the baby mostly but I also don't know how the hell we will cope as life is already so hard! Not much point to this I suppose I just wanted to share as I'm only 5 weeks (early I know!) and haven't told anyone except DH (who feels the same as me, wants the baby but is worried). Also no worries re the paternity as I have neither the time, energy or inclination for an affair!

Sorry, this must be causing you so much worry. Have you had genetic counselling to fully understand the most likely outcomes, and is it something they’re able to test for early on in the pregnancy?

Thank you for your reply. I haven't as its early days and we had no intention of having more but I'll certainly be asking for it. We were told it's a 50/50 chance and that's all. I was also told however that the parents variant doesn't influence the child's condition yet inherited conditions are generally the less severe condition. Genetics is definitely above my pay grade! From what I understand amniocentesis is the only way to know for sure and I'm not willing to take that chance due to the miscarriage risk. The info would only prepare us for what is to come anyway so we will just assume that she/he is going to be epileptic from the first few days and hope to be proved wrong. They will have the genetic tests done at birth.