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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

DH's family not happy about 3rd pregnancy

5 replies

lking679 · 26/07/2022 16:18

So frustrating! I come from a reasonably large family and have two brothers and two sisters. I wanted a third child and DH was fine with it so here we are pregnant with #3. We found out at 12 weeks it was a third girl as had the harmony test.
DH told his mum and she basically ignored it. He phoned her a few days later and they had a chat and she said she was worried because she has two sisters and they don't get on, it would have been fine though if it was a boy. I can understand her sisters not getting on with her though, the Dali Lama would struggle! I don't always get on great with one of my sisters but that's family.

Later we went to visit DH's grandad and she warned us he might not have a great reaction. I told him to phone before hand because I didn't want to hear it , when he phoned his Grandad he did say he didn't understand why we decided to have another baby... and then my DH pointed out we were just copying him having three girls and they both laughed it off.

MIL has recently said to me she would never have 3 children, but if she had been able to have more than 2 she would have had 4 so there was never one left out. I just laughed and said 'haha don't tempt us or we'll go for another.' (We won't).
But it's just really annoying.

My family all fine, happy and supportive. My brother has three girls and my sister just had her third baby. My other siblings have two each.

BTW, we are both employed, have two lovely daughters who adore his family. We can financially support them, our house is big enough and we don't ask them to do any childcare (they happily volunteer as extra pair of hands sometimes which is great but we don't rely on it). So I don't get the big issue!? Really has put a downer on things!

OP posts:
Bindayagain · 26/07/2022 16:23

Congratulations OP.
I do remember my fil saying we shouldn't have a third (this wasn't on the cards!) as one gets left out. He was the middle of 3 boys so I suppose he was speaking from his own experience.

Googlecanthelpme · 26/07/2022 16:26

It wouldn’t occur to me to give a shit about what other people think of how many children I have, even family.

I would file this under “weird people I will avoid” and let on with my pregnancy happily ignoring said people. When they are upset to not be involved in your pregnancy or the baby you can simply shrug and say “you had nothing positive to say about it so why would I involve you?”

People are weird and can be really offensive. I have no interest in this type of negativity, family or not. Ignore, crack on and enjoy your new addition! Congratulations

lking679 · 26/07/2022 16:28

My brothers are 12 and 15 years older than me, then us three girls had 20 month gap (older sister 20 months older and I'm a twin). I can't remember lots of being left out to be honest! We worked as a trio really until we got to teenage years.

She had said a few things before I got pregnant about not having another, and DH was worried about telling her. We were hoping for a boy but happy it's a girl too! Just a bit of a shame, and another score on the board for a very annoying MIL! (Told her my sister had had her baby and the name, her response was 'that's a common name.' "Okay, well I'll just tell her you said congrats then?!").

OP posts:
lking679 · 26/07/2022 16:30

Googlecanthelpme · 26/07/2022 16:26

It wouldn’t occur to me to give a shit about what other people think of how many children I have, even family.

I would file this under “weird people I will avoid” and let on with my pregnancy happily ignoring said people. When they are upset to not be involved in your pregnancy or the baby you can simply shrug and say “you had nothing positive to say about it so why would I involve you?”

People are weird and can be really offensive. I have no interest in this type of negativity, family or not. Ignore, crack on and enjoy your new addition! Congratulations

Can't ignore her, she's my husbands mother! Didn't expect it to annoy me but the ongoing niggles and comments are just a shame.

OP posts:
Cakecakecheese · 26/07/2022 17:31

Your husband needs to have a word. Tell her positive comments or no comments.

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