Dating scan tomorrow after several losses - terrified

[Hopingforbetterluck]

I’ve got my scan tomorrow when I’ll be 12+4. Scans aren’t usually happy occasions for me and in my last three pregnancies at the scan I’ve been told it’s a blighted ovum, then in the next pregnancy there was no heartbeat, the one after that we had a high NT measurement which ended with us losing the baby at 20 weeks. To say I’m scared about what tomorrow will bring is an understatement.
if anyone can offer any words of comfort or has been in a similar situation I’d be grateful.

This time I haven’t paid for any early scans privately like I have previously and so I’ve really no idea what’s going on in there.

@Hopingforbetterluck
So sorry for your losses, I have had 4 miscarriages I'm now 16 weeks pregnant and have been a bag of nerves at all scans had 4 scans with the epu because of the losses im still a bag of nerves now, hope all is well at your scan tomorrow x

Wishing you all the best of luck in the world @Hopingforbetterluck No advice as I've never made it that far but you're not alone, I'm 7 weeks and the thought of a scan terrifies me. Everything crossed for you x

hi @Hopingforbetterluck just came to say how much I understand. I have had 3 MCs (including a blighted ovum) and had my 12 week scan yesterday. I cannot tell you how terrified I was. I was literally shaking with nerves walking into the hospital. I was in the waiting room dreading them shouting my name because I didn’t want the bad news, like you my scans over the last 2 years have never been happy occasions.

But everything went perfect! Couldn’t have hoped for better. You are scared now because your brain is trying to protect you from what you have been through before, but there is absolutely no reason you won’t see a healthy dancing baby tomorrow like I did yesterday. All the luck in the world. 💐

@Babyghirl I’m sorry about your losses. That’s amazing that you’re 16 weeks now, congratulations. We’re you ever given a reason for your losses and did you do anything different this time?

@milaK thank you. Hoping everything goes well for you this time around.

@Tisfortired aw what amazing news for you. Congratulations. You’re probably right about trying to protect myself but I just can’t imagine everything being ok tomorrow. I know it sounds stupid but I feel like the fact it’s the 13th is a bad omen as my last scan that went wrong was on the 13th of the month too. I’ll be alone at the scan so I’m just hoping I hold it together.

@Hopingforbetterluck I know what you mean - I didn’t believe for a minute everything would be okay. Everyone around me kept saying positive thoughts! Everything will be fine! Stop worrying! But I had resigned myself to bad news inside. There’s no reason this pregnancy won’t be healthy. New sperm, new egg, new start. You’ve come this far!

is there nobody at all who can go with you?

I don't know if this will help at all: I hated scans and always had the same worry you do. I made my peace with it through knowing that the scan wouldn't change what was there and that of I wanted to, o could choose to "wait and see" instead.

You don't have to go to the scan. It won't affect your pregnancy either way.

Hope you're ok

@Tisfortired my husband will be looking after our son at home and the only other person that knows I’m pregnant is my twin sister who can’t time off work. I was alone last time so I know I can handle it by myself if it’s bad news, it’s more the waiting to go into the scan. Everyone around you in the waiting room is excited and happy and I’m just sat there feeling sick with dread.

(((HUG))))

is there no one you can ask to have DS, just say you have a medical appointment & would really like your DH to be with you.

I've actually had my neighbours 3 yo a few times when she's gone for scans & things. I did know early she was pregnant as she needed to tell someone! She was scared & nervous and excited (3 losses in between the 3yo & this one)

it's no bother to have her, I'd happily have DS if I knew you, wouldn't care whether you told me about the pregnancy or not, just that you need DH & can't take DS.

best wishes for tomorrow 🤗

I'm sorry, but suggesting that OP doesn't go to her scan is appallingly bad advice.

OP, please ignore. Go to your scan!

Good luck for today. I am also going to my 20 week scan alone tomorrow. It’s so much harder emotionally when you have been through a loss to go to scans and not overthink it all. But this is a new pregnancy, and statistically it is more likely all is ok than not.

You will be ok. Let us know how it goes.

Thinking of you today OP

Please let us know how you get on, thinking about you today.

@Hopingforbetterluck
Only thing done differently I was put on 1000iu of vitamin d as it was rather low and progesterone, meant to finish it today I'm terrified tbh, got 2 weeks left of it so might take just 1 a day instead of the 2. Good luck for today and let us know how you get on, I'm still on egg shells of something going wrong no children yet so this will be my first. Trying to tell myself everything will be fine.

Had my bloods snd that done and my booking in app and they said if I don't hear back in two weeks then there ok been 2 weeks now and heard nothing thankgod.

Thank you everyone for your well wishes. I can’t quite believe it but the scan went well today. I still feel very wary, perhaps because of my last pregnancy ending at 20 weeks and we still have to decide whether to do a CVS in this pregnancy. BUT the scan all looked normal, good heartbeat, measuring in line with dates and the NT was well within normal range so that’s a big relief.

Good luck to everyone still waiting to have a scan x

So pleased everything went well for you today. Hopefully you can relax a bit now 🙂

@Hopingforbetterluck
Glad all went well today at your scan.

@Hopingforbetterluck
I'm 16 weeks and still a bag of nerves, just can't settle myself of fear of something going wrong, at the stage where app you feel nt pregnant and it has my anxiety through the roof but app it's normal. X

Congratulations @Hopingforbetterluck

@Babyghirl I know what you mean. I think after loss it’s inevitable that we’re going to feel anxious. I hope when you start feeling movements that might reassure you maybe? I still felt fairly optimistic after my first miscarriage but after three very different losses I just don’t trust my body to get it right anymore and I doubt that will go away no matter how far into the pregnancy I am.

We are only a few weeks apart in our pregnancies so if you ever need a chat or a handhold just give me a shout x

@Hopingforbetterluck
Losses really do take the joy out of pregnancy, I want to be excited but scared to get to excited incase something goes wrong, I have booked a scan for tomorrow just for reassurance it's settles me for about an hour lol, but I have never got this far so I have to try and believe everything is going to be alright this time around, how are you feeling x

@Babyghirl I’m the same, I don’t feel as relieved today and won’t let myself get excited. Two of my losses were fairly late on so I still feel like it’s very early for me and probably won’t even tell anyone else I’m pregnant. I’ve got another scan next week with a consultant at the fetal medicine unit so I’ll see how I feel after that.
Its really positive that you’ve got further than your previous losses.
I hope your scan tomorrow settles your anxiety for a while - let us know how you get on won’t you x

@Hopingforbetterluck
I will it's at 10.20 so not long to wait, if you don't mind me asking did they give you a reason for your late losses xx

@Babyghirl I don’t mind you asking at all. One of them the babies heart stopped beating at 11.5/12 weeks and we were never given a reason. The last time the baby was very poorly and we had known this was likely from the 12 week scan and there was a lot of tests and extra scans involved. It was a genetic problem but myself and my husband were tested and we don’t carry it so it was probably just a fluke. However there’s still a 1% chance that one of us carries it in our reproductive organs so we have to decide if we want invasive testing in this pregnancy through cvs or amniocentesis.

Good luck for this morning x

@Hopingforbetterluck
Had my scan all looks great only paid for dating scan and god love the girl because of my history she done a more detailed scan all looks great even let me have a sneaky peak of a 4d one, awk awful so sorry but this is your rainbow, hold tight girl you got this xxx

@Babyghirl aw lovely- that’s amazing news. If everything looks good at this stage that’s really reassuring. Thank you, I’m hoping my more detailed scan at the FMU next week will help xx