Am I being ridiculous? Unwanted pregnancy in long term relationship

[Suchasmilingsweetheart]

I have been with OH for 8 years, excellent stable relationship, good jobs, house etc. We have always said we never wanted children (but with a never say never attitude as we know things change). Lots planned this year, we are getting married, holidays etc etc.

I have just found out I am pregnant. Due march 2023. Initial straight away thought for both of us was to terminate. It's very hard to get an appointment, the one I've been given is another 11 days away, leaving our minds work overtime.

I guess I can't get my head around the fact that we are considering this, but we really really just don't want a child. But is this because I'm mourning everything I will miss out on and our plans including big travel plans will change. Daily increasing symptoms aren't helping.

Not sure what I'm looking for reassurance wise by writing this...just really really lost at the moment.

You've got 11 days, so think it through. Write down all the positives and negatives. Then make a decision. Best wishes to you.

If you don't want a child, you don't want a child. There's no shame in that. Far better to terminate than bring a child into the world that you don't want. Be kind to yourself op. It's not an easy decision but it's the right one. As the PP said, you have 11 days to mull it over, best of luck

Is it worth paying for 1/2 sessions with a therapist specialised in this area for a sounding board? I guess the question is whether this baby is just inconveniently timed - you'd get over that - or whether you really do not want children - you won't get over that.

Don't have the baby if you don't want a child - that sets everyone up for a life of misery. Abortion is available for a reason and thank our lucky stars it is. But aborting because of a holiday and a wedding only to want a baby after that may leave you regretful. Good luck

Time for you both to take your heads well and truly out the sand and really talk, and I mean really talk. It's a massive decision and you need to be sure ... either way!
Get that own out and write positives and negatives for all outcomes
Good luck, big decision and I wouldn't want to make it either

If you really don't want a child, you don't want a child. And that's completely fine.

A child is a huge lifetime commitment. Sure you can do everything you have planned with a child and lots of planning but if you don't want to do that then don't.

No one benefits from a situation where you have a child you never wanted and continue to not want.

But clearly you're asking for a reason. Is it that you think you should want to have a child or because you're not the type of person you'd associate with abortion (i.e. societal pressure?) Or are you maybe changing your mind now the question is real?

Thankyou for all the replies so far. Lots to think about, some supportive messages 💙

Couldn't have put it better myself. The last part is particularly wise 👌 good luck OP no latter what you decide x

I’m in exactly the same position and I sympathise - it’s like being stuck in an awful limbo. I hope you’ve found some resolution that works for you.

In the end we decided to carry on the pregnancy. It was a big decision but one we felt was right. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage yesterday 😔 we are absolutely heartbroken. It has completely changed our view on everything however. All I'll say is take your time and done rush into the decision, whatever you chose. There are choices - I hope you find the right choice for you. All the very best x