Nausea and sickness unbearable week 7, considering termination, please help

[Confusedmum20223]

I’m 7 weeks pregnant and feel so nauseous constantly, my self care has basically disappeared and I feel awful constantly. I feel too sick to bath or shower and I’m forcing myself to every couple days but it’s affecting my mental health.

I keep putting off brushing my teeth because every time I do I’m sick - does anyone have any advice please? I’m getting so fed up of mustering up the strength to brush my teeth only to spew up everywhere.

I feel like an absolute shell of myself at the moment and I’m struggling with the idea of continuing the pregnancy. It’s not my first I already have a 5 year old, but feeling this terrible all the time is making me seriously consider a termination along with some other things. Like for some reason with this pregnancy I am so scared of giving birth - I’m just terrified for the pain and the risk of complications - this didn’t even cross my mind with the first. My anxiety is just insane with this pregnancy (I’m personally against using pharmaceuticals so I can’t just go to the doctor and get anxiety meds in case anyone is going to suggest that) and I just don’t really know how to get myself under control.

Everything about this pregnancy is so scary and overwhelming and I’m really struggling to cope. I’ve already spoken to the nurse and am due to receive abortion pills in the post tomorrow but I’m not 100% on the idea - I wanted another baby so bad so whilst this was unplanned and sooner than expected, I didn’t expect to feel like this. I don’t want to get a termination and regret it but I just don’t know what to do anymore

any advice welcome :(

OP there are risks but could you talk to the gp and if you still decide no meds or abortion at least you have considered all the options.

I am trying to understand your views point on medication. I am on my second hyperemersis pregnancy. I take medication because I know it is worth it. The treatment is safe and the benefit outweigh the awful effects of doing without treatment.

We all know that there are some people who have such strong views on medication that they would avoid it in all situations even if it results in their death. If that is you then you would probably not regret having a termination because your primary goal is to avoid treatment. Most people do not think like that. They would be happy to take safe treatments. You sound like you are not thinking in a logical way this often ends once you are free of hormones. If you are someone who normally accepts medical treatment and declined it because you are unwell you may well regret having an abortion.

There is safe treatment available to you. You have suggested that people pointing this out to you are trolling you. I hope you do accept some help so you can make the right decision for you.

I obviously don’t have such strong views against medication where I’d avoid it until death - considering I’ve literally said in my post I’ve got abortion pills coming today.

My point with medication is simply that I would categorically not take any if I was continuing a pregnancy. I am not saying anyone is wrong for doing so themselves - it’s just something I would not wish to do. My reasons for this are extensive and tbh I can’t be bothered explaining them as I don’t want this to turn into a debate about medications etc as it’s irrelevant.

I didn't take any medicine throughout first and second hg pregnancies. The 3rd that I just terminated I took anti nausea pills but they made me feel worse and I became dependent on them. The day I ran out that's the day I chose to terminate via the pills. My doctor and early pregnancy unit didn't give them to me when I needed them as it was too late. When you vomit, I know it's hard remember that this too shall pass. Unfortunately the hg didn't let me acknowledge my pregnancy. I hope you're okay.

Sorry I don't understand. You are against taking meds in pregnancy, fair enough your choice (although plenty are proved to be safe, I'm a medical scientist so I understand) but you are happy to take meds to end the pregnancy?

Your belief of no medication is so strong you'd rather get rid of the baby altogether?

I think you really need to think about what you want in the long term for your life here.

You are feeling awful now, but that is a temporary thing. Having a termination or having a baby are both long term big issues in life. You need to prioritise whether you really want this baby or not and then seek solutions to support your long term goal.

So if you decide you don’t want a second child after all, then a termination will put an end to your current issues and could be a good solution.

If you do want this baby you need to look for solutions to your anxiety and your sickness. Medication is not the only answer, in fact for anxiety it is far inferior to therapy. For the sickness there are other things that can help, like acupuncture and hypnotherapy. Or you can decide just to ride it out, as your bigger picture goal is to have the baby and you can persevere through this stage to get there.

Therapy would be helpful, not least because you sound a little muddled in your thinking and you need to be sure you make the right decision either way for you. You could also be free of this anxiety and life will be so different.

@JanuaryFebruaryMarch she doesn't need your judgement right now. What she's going through is hard. Please try to understand.

Thank you for this, people are jumping so much on the no medication thing but that was really just a passing comment because on so many other threads all people recommend is medication from GP for everything from anxiety/depression to sickness. Was just looking for some other advice but wish I’d not bothered now lol

That wasn't what she said at all, why doesn't anybody ever read the op properly before replying?!

No need to be so rude.

If you're considering ENDING a pregnancy rather than the very rational choice of taking medication, I'm not sure there's much anyone can say to you.

Try being a bit more polite to people who are trying to HELP you.

If you have made your decision to terminate then fair enough.

If you want to continue with the pregnancy, any risks of antiemetics (which are absolutely tiny, there are no other group of medications more extensively studied in pregnancy) would be significantly outweighed by the risk to your baby of you becoming dehydrated and malnourished from uncontrolled HG. It is not a simple case of medications = risky, not taking medications = safe. It is a balance of different risks, and it may be worth considering why you have such a strong position on avoiding taking medications that could help keep your baby safe. What if you were to develop gestational diabetes, or pregnancy induced hypertension? Would you refuse treatment for that too, regardless of the risk to your baby?

OP, this isn't about anxiety medication, there is very simple medication a doctor can prescribe you for your nausea/sickness that is perfectly safe to take in pregnancy. You are considering taking medication to end the pregnancy, i think posters are struggling to understand why you wouldn't simply take other medication that will help you feel better? You have probably another 4-5 weeks of feeling like this before 2nd trimester when for most women it gets better. I was like you in the first trimester, pretty much bed bound, but i knew it would pass and you have to do what you have to do to get through it

Hey OP, contact Pregnancy Sickness Support asap - you need non-judgmental help to assist you to figure this out. Having just come through an awful first tri, I know how depressed the sickness can make you feel. You need support at this time - if PSS recommend extra counselling, go down that road too - get all the help you can!

Have you suffered with anxiety previously or has been brought on by the nausea/sickness?
I had horrendous nausea/sickness with my first for 17 weeks. I ws signed off work for 3 months. I got anxious and depressed with it. At no point was I offered medication - this was 21 years ago, and I think less common. I felt like I was going mad at times. It really does weird things to you.

I started the same way with my second and because it was really impacting on me being able to look after my toddler I went to the GP for medication. It was life changing, and made me very angry that I hadn't been given the option the first time round.

I am saying this because I know that it can muddle your brain, you can't think straight, you can't concentrate, it exhausts you. I can understand you being scared of taking medication when pregnant. But I also wonder wether part of your wariness is down to the sickness itself.

Please speak to your midwife/GP about this. As others have said there are non-drug related routes that you could try such as hypnosis and acupuncture.

If you other reasons for termination are important to you then that is how you should make your decision. But Honestly, if sickness is the overriding reason why you'd terminate, just give it time. I had horrendous sickness early on but (currently 26 weeks) it truly is just a distant memory now. You said you wanted this baby before being Pg, try and remember those feelings and think about how you will feel in a few weeks when your sickness will hopefully have gone and you will either still be pregnant or not.

How am I being rude?

I made it pretty clear in my original post that sickness wasn’t the only thing affecting me. Not sure why you’ve even came on the thread just to be aggressive?

I'm on medication for high blood pressure. I could choose not to take it, but I would be much more likely to die. Medication isn't always the worst option. It is worth doing some proper solid research on risk Vs benefits (and abortion meds are 100% definitely going to be more harmful than sickness meds!)

I think choosing abortion over anti sickness medicine is a bit extreme- could you go and have a discussion with your gp about medications and their side effects. You might feel a million times better with anti sickness medicine.

I know from my own experience how awful HG feels, not just physically but mentally too. But unfortunately it means that you have a series of difficult decisions to make.

You could continue the pregnancy with no medications, but then you are risking your health and the baby's, due to dehydration, malnutrition, vitamin deficiency etc. You also have to endure several more weeks of feeling terrible.

You could try non-medication assistance, such as anti-nausea wristbands, ginger, etc, but in my experience they are no help whatsoever. You could have counselling which might help you deal with the sickness, perhaps.

Or you could have an abortion. For me that wasn't the right answer because I desperately wanted a sibling for my first child, and I knew if I had an abortion I would have to go through the HG all over again. I felt that I'd already endured through several weeks of sickness and if I could keep going things would improve in a few weeks. Of course you may feel that an abortion the right solution for you.

Or you could do what pretty much everyone is advising, and take the medications for HG. Many many thousands of women with HG have taken these drugs safely. They can be transformative in some cases, or in others they can just help enough to get you through. Doctors would not prescribe drugs that were not absolutely proven to be safe in pregnancy. Any tiny tiny risk is less risky to the baby than you becoming very ill due to not eating or drinking.

I suspect you might benefit from talking over your options with a doctor or counsellor. In the midst of what is a truly awful condition, it's very hard to make any decisions. Make an appointment to see your GP and go with an open mind.

I know a lot of the other commenters have taken anti-nausea meds and are advocating for them - but I also chose not to take them. It is a personal decision only a woman can make for herself. I had a horrible midwife who said 'oh well if you won't take the medication and you won't try acupuncture (hate needles) then it's your own fault'. I sense a bit of that attitude on here.

I promptly switched midwife, and managed to get through with support/talk therapy with a proper counsellor. If I'd found Pregnancy Sickness Support at the time, I would have contacted them asap. All the best OP.

Oh lovely. Honestly, sometimes pregnancy sucks. I've had awful nausea on all of mine, this pregnancy I had similar thoughts as it was effecting my life so much and I have 2 toddlers to look after, however it did subside, Im now 25 weeks and can't wait for baby to arrive. I think you need to decide with your partner if you can continue with this, knowing once babies here it'll be worth it, but also knowing this feeling may last a good chunk of the pregnancy. I'd also be worried about you getting dehydrated etc and ending up in hospital. I bought some anti sickness stuff from my expert midwife, aromatherapy oils and ginger tablets etc so nothing harmful/medicinal and I did find they helped a bit (even if they were a placebo!) I'd also encourage you to seek support from a health professional for your mental health, doesn't need to be tablets etc but being referred to perinatal midwife may help you talk things through if you do continue with the pregnancy :) x

Weigh up your priorities I think. Surely taking some anti sickness tablets prescribed by the dr is better than a termination? I know you’re against meds but you said you want this baby. Is it worth terminating the pregnancy really, when you could just take the meds. I’m 8 weeks myself currently. Had HG last time. On 2 anti sickness meds at the moment to try and keep nausea and sickness at bay. they’re hit and miss but far better than if I was taking nothing.

you can also explain your anxiety and you can have a c section. You don’t have to have a natural birth.

sending big hugs xxx

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I had this fir the first 12 weeks, in both pregnancies. I was continually vomitig, all day and night. Fruit, crisps and lucazade helped me get through it. Eat what ever you want, and carry lots of plastic bags around with you.

It doesn't make much sense that you are unwilling to take medication in pregnancy to help your nausea in case in harms the baby but the result of this decision may be that you have an abortion.M that definitely harms the baby?