So worried about miscarriage

[Jessieharriet181]

I'm 9 weeks pregnant and I'm worried sick about miscarriage. I have no reason to but I've convinced myself something is going to go wrong. Every time my symptoms get less I'm relieved for a second then I panic that it's because the babies not there anymore. I haven't told any of my friends or family yet because I'm convinced my pregnancy won't last, so that means I have no one in real life to talk to (apart from DH obviously). I've had one private scan already at 6 weeks because I was so anxious and a heartbeat was seen. I have another private scan next weekend but I don't think I can wait that long. I've already been signed off sick from work with stress because since finding out I was pregnant I've had a close bereavement, a family member in hospital, and a big family argument on top of that. This pregnancy is my last hope for something good for me and my family because we've all had the worst time recently so I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself for this pregnancy to be successful. I just don't think I can take any more bad news if the worst was to happen. I know a miscarriage at any time for anyone is devastating but the timing now means I'm just not mentally and emotionally strong enough to get through it. I know worrying about it won't change the outcome but I think I need to prepare myself. I know we could try to conceive again but it took us 6 months to get here. I don't really have a question, just advice on how I can get through this next week and maybe some positive stories from people to settle my mind a bit.

[RhiRhi1988]

Im sorry you are feeling that way. I actually don’t have any positive successful stories as I’ve only had miscarriages. However if it does happen, you will get through it, and can try again.

But worrying won’t help, if anything it’ll do the opposite. You need to be stress free as much as you can be.

I found out I was pregnant a week ago for the third time this year. Hoping it sticks, but I have to be realistic with myself and remember whatever happens will happen.

Please don’t stress. Enjoy it while you can x

[Merryclaire]

Sorry to hear you’re feeling so anxious and that life has been tough lately. The good news is that once a heartbeat has been detected, your chance of miscarriage significantly drops. By 9 weeks the odds of miscarriage are very low

Of course it’s possible at any stage, but you need to try to relax into the pregnancy. All this anxiety won’t do you any good. Easier said than done, I know!

best of luck

[Jessieharriet181]

Thanks for replying both of you. I'm hoping I wake up in the morning with a clearer head (and a bit of morning sickness!). I've got a doctor's appointment following up another issue so I will mention my anxiety then.

[Snugglemonkey]

It is so difficult not to be anxious! I am 18 weeks with an ivf baby and permanently expecting the worst. We have had a lot of ivf, a lot of disappointment and loss. Though I was so lucky with my second round and got my son.

This pregnancy began with twins, but I lost one at 7 weeks. I have had 7 scans, but that just makes me feel ok for a day or two.

Sorry, I am not even offering any helpful advice as I cannot manage my own anxiety. I just wanted you to know you are not alone and to say my thoughts are with you. I so hope everything goes well fo you.

[elenacampana]

I worried about it endlessly also OP, from the beginning to the end of my pregnancy. I was also really fixated on symptoms and then movements as things progressed. I’m not ashamed to say I went to the MAU wayyyyyy more than was necessary for monitoring. However, we got through it and I now have a fabulous little girl who’ll be 8 months next week.

If you’re open to support, let your midwife know and you can be referred to your perinatal mental health team.

You may find it helps to check in with this thread as the months go on. I’ll certainly always be happy to talk to you :-)

[elenacampana]

I understand about the wait, my baby took 20 months.

[PreggieGoldilocks86]

so sorry you are so stressed, I am early days pregnancy also (8 wks) and also struggling with anxiety! I have found as soon as I told a couple of key people, it all made it feel alot more real and I started to process it much easier in my head. I actually found telling people I wasn't as close to helped massively, it felt like it took some of the pressure off. Haven't told anyone close yet (parents, siblings, anyone that would be heartbroken if anything went wrong) but will do after harmony test and first scan. Speak to your doc if telling someone isn't an option, just chatting to anyone will help!

[Flederjo]

Been there OP, you can only take it one day at a time. For most of us, as you see in the posts above, the worry never really leaves....first it's symptoms, knicker checking, then it's movements, twinges etc, then it's prematurity, waters going early, etc.

Such a nerve wracking time, honestly! Definitely speak to someone about feeling so anxious. I bottled everything up and got through it alone, but I wasn't facing the other difficulties you are.

The loss of control is hard because you know, especially early on, that you can't influence anything.

I've not really helped much, just wanted you to know there are so many who have been, or who are, in this boat. 💐

[Scorpio8]

I'm 6 weeks and also been signed off work for a couple of weeks.
I had right side pain freaked thinking it will be ectopic until had an early scan and they said good news everything in right place. Just got to wait until Friday and this what's worrying me.
I would just take it day by day and this is what I am doing. Try to take your mind of the pregnancy a bit too. I know it's hard with maybe with pregnancy related stiff like bloating etc.
I got my mum coming today and really don't want to tell her yet not sure how that will work.
I just can't handle whatever she may say. I have told manager and two friends of mine and my OH knows but that's it.
I have to pretend I am off work due to my Fibromyalgia.
I never thought I be this anxious.

[Angelagall15]

Hi everyone, just wondering if anyone could give me some advice or just any suggestions. I’m 6 weeks pregnant and I’ve had this discharge for like 3 days now. It’s not all day only in the morning when I tend to wake up and that’s it. In terms of symptoms I’ve got a few but this is my first baby and I’m just convincing myself of the absolute worst and can’t stop worrying, waiting for the early pregnancy unit to call me back! Thanks x

[RhiRhi1988]

@Angelagall15 could be implantation bleeding as it’s very light. But best to get it checked out at EPU.
Not to worry you but I had something similar in my first MC earlier this year. But then it did develop further a couple of days later into more bleeding.

[Merryclaire]

@Angelagall15 Doesn’t look too sinister. So another vote for implantation bleeding but definitely get checked out.

[Angelagall15]

Hi guys, just a wee update it has now turned into this. I have has a Hcg done and I should be 6 weeks pregnant maybe 5 but my levels are showing as 383 so very low, to get a repeat tomorrow. Should I prepare myself for the worst? Thanks

[Scorpio8]

@Angelagall15

Hi guys, just a wee update it has now turned into this. I have has a Hcg done and I should be 6 weeks pregnant maybe 5 but my levels are showing as 383 so very low, to get a repeat tomorrow. Should I prepare myself for the worst? Thanks

So sorry to see this.

Thinking of you

[Angelagall15]

Just an update for everyone. Had lots of bleeding and cramping this morning and bad pain. Eventually passed everything. Thanks for your advice and good luck for your pregnancies 🤍

[Merryclaire]

So sorry to hear this. I hope you’re ok. Get plenty of rest and look after yourself x

[Scorpio8]

@Angelagall15

Just an update for everyone. Had lots of bleeding and cramping this morning and bad pain. Eventually passed everything. Thanks for your advice and good luck for your pregnancies 🤍

So sorry to hear this. please take it easy x