Early pregnancy trying not to get too excited

[Scorpio8]

I am just wondering if anyone is feeling like this?

I was shocked finding out that I was pregnant but happy. I had a laparoscopy and was scared they would tell me I couldn't have anymore children.

I didn't think it would happen so quickly.

I had early scan which showed pregnancy sac and this week another scan as I am 6 weeks.

I'm trying not to think of the scan this week coming Friday. I don't feel as excited just anxious.

Anyone just feeling like they can't be excited?

Absolutely, I couldn't relax during the first trimester at all due to a previous loss. I couldn't allow myself to become excited or plan anything. Just took it one day at a time.

Got a bit better in the second trimester, I'm now 35 weeks but the worry never truly goes away. Probably won't even when the baby is here!!

Exactly

Just take it easy.

@Scorpio8
It's hard to get excited, after 4 miscarriages I'm now 14+3 and still can't get excited my losses where never any later than ten weeks, never got this far think I have a wee touch of ptsd from my history, but trying to tell myself everything is going to be OK I'm out of the 1st trimester. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Yes, me too. Totally there with you.

I was so delighted for about a week after my Beta but now that I am coming up towards the first scan at 5.4 (this is an IVF pregnancy), I feel completely sick and scared. I have never had a good scan, last time 2.5 years ago the first one was no heartbeat but early and at the second one at 9 weeks they diagnosed a MMC and I have flashbacks from that and everything that happened next even now.

Also, I had just the tiniest bit of spotting, almost yellow and barely even visible this morning, probably just from the progesterone pessaries irritating somethings. But I have spent the whole day totally upset and sure that I am going to get horrible news or something bad is going to happen. I wish I could just wake up in September and either way the next few weeks would be over.

For me once baby comes with me okay.

@Scorpio8 Good point! For me ten weeks has always been the limit. If I get over that, I will allow myself to try to be happy each day. This is the worst part for me, as this is the part that is so triggering as I haven’t experienced anything further on yet.

But of course, I would also be terrified all the time. I don’t think I would stop being terrified constantly even if I had a kid and they live to be 55 years old.

I was always excited but I didn't think of it as a baby as opposed to a pregnancy until much later. That was just how I felt. It was only after about 12 weeks that I started to think 'ohh I'm pregnant and there is a baby in there'
I miscarried at 12 weeks once. I felt very sad and disappointed but I wasn't grieving iyswim - I now understand that lots of other women really connect to their baby even as soon as they know they are pregnant. There is no right or wrong.

I do wonder about people who get lots of very early scans. I'd do them if there were proper medical reasons but otherwise I'd wait until I knew the pregnancy had held.
It is amazing being pregnant. The thought of growing your own baby is pretty incredible.

I think this is a totally different pregnancy for me
I never did early scan before but probably I freaked out because of my right side pain and thinking of it being ectopic because of falling pregnant so quickly after laparoscopy.
I feel strange it's been over 10yrs since I was pregnant.
I think just will take it day by day.. try to carry on a normal. Obviously be careful but not think too much about it.
I honestly can't be don't want to build my hopes up.

Over here, 100%. I’m 8+5 and trying really hard not to think about it as if it’s real yet. We certainly won’t buy anything until post-scan. My friends/colleagues have had 4 stillbirths and 7 miscarriages between them that I know of, so for me it’s not here til it’s here.

@Pleaseletmeconfirm yes, if I could, I wouldn’t get a scan until over 12 weeks. I hate, hate, hate them.

Unfortunately with IVF they give me a blood pregnancy test on day 9 and then a scan at 5.4, which is way too early but is to confirm it’s not ectopic (if it were ectopic, I suppose that leaves safer options available for management). It’s a good idea, but not seeing a heartbeat is awful for me now, at any time, even when it’s too soon. I just want to get as far as seeing a heartbeat, I’ve never had one of those.

It's because of my history they have to keep an eye on me.

But this early scan just a new thing for me. I am sure it's always been 12 weeks or hearing the heartbeat.

I think I will have to really keep busy until Friday.

As Friday approaches I am thinking of the worst but I do hope everything is okay.
Just feel weird and this stomach cramps still bad and scared each time I go toilet.
It's just crazy want to just know now everything okay.
I just can't get excited until baby here. I be scared each scan.

Good luck @Scorpio8 keep us updated!

Thanks I will

Today is the scan this morning and really don't feel like I am pregnant no more. I just got a feeling here something not right..
I am 6 weeks but it feel like it's over . I haven't been excited since finding out. Well I was shocked but then after that week lost all excitement.
I have stomach cramps but still don't feel like I am pregnant.Last scan saw the sac but really don't expect to see feotal pole today.
I do feel could be quite early still although they said 6 weeks.
My pregnancy tests showed 3+ then 2-3.

How did the scan go @Scorpio8 ? I've been thinking about you

I was very worried but everything is fine. Soon as she did ultrasound she said the heartbeat and didn't even keep me long. Just happy with that and showed my OH and told me go get read go waiting area.
Then was discharged from EPU then told to phone midwife team.
Someone said you need to call your GP but have me number for maternity and rang tell me that a midwife will call in middle of the week.
I am happy going to get on as normal and not think of pregnancy too much. Or worry otherwise it will drive me crazy.
I will just wait until 12wk scan and midwife appointment.
I best get back to work and really trying get on with things.

Sorry didn't make sense probably shattered just from going up the hospital.. extremely tired especially as have fibromyalgia too.

Anything happens I feel anxious. I thought I had food poisoning the other day because really felt sick and stomach was cramping after this food. Then I couldn't go bed felt like I so nauseous. But was okay in morning called doctor and explained hard to go toilet.
Not long woke up but think I held my bladder must of been tired from night before being up.
I just feel so worried and think I'm making my OH worried. I think because we wanted this so scared too lose this baby.
I don't think I can continue being like this week to week scared waiting for next scan.
I wake up each day think is baby okay and toilet watch everyday. I had bad late pregnancy before h teen whom 15 now. I am scared of miscarriage.
Maybe it's because I am older that's why I am freaking out.
This cramping driving me mad and just don't feel right sometimes.
I am back to work Sunday hoping that will take my mind off this.
I don't know how I will be in late pregnancy too. So like scared and I am 7 weeks. It's like horrible on pregnancy count down to when this over and baby here. Feeling completely stressed.
I need advice

OP you need to seek professional help for the anxiety. Posting here and worrying about every single thing won't help you get through this pregnancy. You need to enquire about antenatal mental health support.

I will say, I posted above in this thread about waiting for a scan and so fearing not seeing a heartbeat again, as I have never got to see one, only ever had an MMC which was the most terrible time of my life.

When I had my scan this week, once again, there’s no heartbeat and in a way, I had been fearing it so, so much that when the worst happened I felt absolutely horrific, but also kind of… free. Finally free of the crushing fear because the worst had already happened.

And now I know that, whatever happens, I can hear those words again and it won’t kill me or destroy me. It will hurt horribly, but I can live with it. I really didn’t think I could.

I’m not stronger than you, @Scorpio8 . I wish I had known that facing what has been my greatest fear would still leave me able to cope, cry so much but also laugh sometimes in these days after hearing those words.

I just wanted to say that you are strong and you will survive whatever happens and you will have hope even if something goes wrong. I know how hard it is and I don’t have anything to take away the stress and terrible fear you must be feeling, but I wanted to say that you will be ok.

Sorry to hear about your loss.

I had a horrible cramping pain when I got up today really freaked out. But I eased off. Then it felt sore but had this before an they told me a cyst burst and nothing wrong. I do feel I had a miscarriage otherwise don't know what that strong cramping on right side was.
My right side hurts but not going round into my hip and lower back. My pelvic area sore but could be something else.

My first pregnancy 2004 ended in stillbirth. I have a 15 year and with that pregnancy was bleeding but was okay. I think I was scared in late pregnancy.
Now I am trying to be positive but while no one knows if I lose this pregnancy I can just grieve with me and OH. It's that I feel pregnant so fast after laparoscopy it a miracle considering I was told it will be harder for me to conceive and may need IVF. If I am okay which I do hope everything alright I will be phoning midwife all the time scared. I just keep thinking that horrible experience.
I must of forgot how stressful being pregnant is.

Thank you so much and hope your okay?

@CardiffMam

Just wanted to let you know I am freaking out about my 12 week scan. This time I do feel something is wrong. Especially having a bad cramp getting off the bed clutching my right side. But then felt sore.
Tried getting on with the rest of the weekend. Then rang EPU they won't scan you unless your bleeding. Doctor just sending my urine off to the lab for UTI.
I don't feel well but just getting on with it.
I am quite annoyed as not heard from a midwife have to chase her tommorow. Really don't feel pregnant. Although I know pregnancy symptoms come and go. I have no bleeding but thinking there won't be a heartbeat when I go scan. I will keep you updated. In fact not even thinking I am pregnant and waiting for the bleeding now. Because what happened Saturday was worrying.
I won't even think of this pregnancy until scan or midwife appointment. If everything okay with pregnancy I could relax but guess have to wait another month. I am having to try diagnosis although asking the doctor could it be UTI and because I held my bladder because I was so tired Friday and wasn't up and down going loo. I get UTI all the time. I don't think I will enjoy this pregnancy even if I am okay. Health professionals don't take you seriously this why I think I had a stillbirth in 2005.
Now nearly 40 feeling worse because could be losing pregnancy early now.

I think many people just have that feeling and hopefully my feeling wrong. I admit I do need to see someone maybe for my anxiety sorry I won't be happy until baby born.

Hope everything has gone ok. I found everything about pregnancy worrying. I used to try and ignore it but it was always there in the background. I don't think it's unusual.

@Pleaseletmeconfirm

Finally today the midwife called and told her my worries and she said EPU are like that she said something can't remember. She did say at least no bleeding. Think next week she will get my scan booked in. I am still worried but trying to have at least some hope that everything is okay.

I have my first midwife appointment next week and she said your 8 +1 weeks now. Even though haven't felt pregnant haven't felt well a couple of days. So fingers crossed I am trying to put it out my mind and tell myself at least no bleeding. I am thinking the cramp could of been because I had held my bladder.

Thanks for replying.