Maternal instincts?

[Riviera16]

Hi everyone,

I’m around 10 weeks pregnant and I was wondering when did your maternal instincts kick in? I
’ve always wanted kids but after being told I would struggle to conceive it came as a bit of a surprise when I found out that I was pregnant. Since then I have felt very overwhelmed,scared, teary and anxious. I see a lot of posts about women talking about how attached they already are to their baby, how happy they are during their pregnancy so I’m worried that the way I’m feeling isn’t normal. It’s really been getting me down :(

Hopefully you lovely lot have some wise words for me. Thanks!

I think that’s normal :) I don’t think I really felt much towards my baby (who was always planned and wanted!) until I started feeling him kick around 20 weeks. Also finding out his gender made him much more ‘real’.

up until then I was a bag of nerves but also felt like I was sacrificing a lot for something quite hypothetical!

I don’t think feeling a bit detached is unusual at all. It just doesn’t feel quite real at this point.

It would be worth talking through the anxiety with a midwife or gp though and see what support they can give.

At 10 weeks you're probably not showing a lot? It's hard to talk to a bump if you don't really have one yet! Hopefully the 12 week scan will help a bit. They become more of a baby and less of a concept when you see them in a scan and when you have more of bump.

Don't worry about it OP, everyone is different and those feelings come at different times. I was absolutely desperate to be a mum (many years and lots of fertility treatment) but I never did any of the singing/reading/talking to the bump- really not for me, would find it super cringeworthy! Lovely if others enjoy it though!

I didn't really feel 'bonded' until I felt movement around 18/19 weeks - felt awful at 10 weeks when my midwife asked if I had bonded and had to say no!

My son was very much wanted via IVF but I didn't have a pregnancy bond until I felt him kick.
But then even and I just want to add, it took me afew weeks post birth to bond with him.

Not until after birth with either!

Agree with @TeddyTonks i was the same, never did any of that either as I felt it was a bit cringe too and never felt particularly bonded with any of my pregnancies but I think it was a control thing for me like I was worried and anxious something bad would happen and I’d struggle the more attached I was so I wouldn’t let myself. The minute they were born my motherly instincts kicked in massively, I remember wanting my child straight away in my arms as soon as she was born and couldn’t be without her after that, same with all the others but I remember being shocked at this enormous rush of emotions and motherly protective instinct kicking in as soon as I saw my first xx

Still waiting at 11!!

Joking aside...

Really wanted dc but felt nothing when preg, actually really hated it.

Within 48 hours of dd being born she was my favourite person in the world EVER.

However you feel is normal, don't judge it but accept it.

I think that's all pretty normal, esp. during the 1st trimester when it doesn't feel like a lot is 'in there' and you just feel tired and sick. I'm nearly 9 weeks and although I feel a lot of love for the baby when I think about it, I honestly feel like I'm making it up sometimes! I take a pregnancy test sometimes to remind myself I'm still pregnant and this baby isn't a figment of my imagination, lol.

I think it won't feel real enough for a bond to form until the 1st scan, to be honest, I'm expecting to feel a real impact when I see lil Lentil on the screen. (yep, we have christened the baby lentil)

Try not to worry too much, it'll come with time I'm sure :)

I felt quite detached throughout my whole pregnancy. I felt anxious and I don’t think it ever sunk in that I was going to be a mum.

As soon as he arrived I felt an immediate rush of love and something just changed in me.