Mat leave or sick leave or go back to work

[theotherfossilsister]

Currently on sick leave for iugr. I have three hospital appointments a week and I'm public facing and was really struggling to cope.

Baby is third centile and blood flow through placenta is showing a little resistance but not bad enough for them to get him out yet. I am 31+4 today and my sicknote runs out on fourth July.

My options are to get note extended, begin maternity leave or try and go back. I'm struggling mentally and know that my shifts will probably be changed due to hospital appointments (ie. If appointments in the morning I will just be on late shifts and I really struggle with tiredness and stress and the not knowing from day to day when baby will come.)

Originally I was meant to go on mat leave end of July but consultant says it's likely baby will be here by then. I just hope he's ok.

Struggling a bit as I don't want to take the piss but I was literally going to the loo for ages so I didn't cry in front of customers.

I would take it as sick leave. I believe your employer can automatically start maternity leave 4 weeks before your EDD due to sickness

If you don't feel well enough to go to work then don't go. It's up to you whether you take maternity or sick leave. However from 36 weeks pregnant you can no longer take sick leave and will be put on maternity leave.

Go on sick leave. There is no better time to prioritise your wellbeing.

Thank you. I think he'll be born at thirty six weeks. Maybe I could go back for a bit and get a doctor's note for fewer hours or something so they don't put me on late shift if I'm in hospital in the morning.

Completely reasonable to stay on sick leave. Employer can trigger mat leave from 36 weeks if you are off with pregnancy related sickness.

If you start your maternity leave now then you’ll have less later and you are sick. Do you get paid sick leave? Worth looking at what is financially and time wise better for you.

If you WANT to work then you can ask for a note saying reduced hours - only do this if it would actually be helpful to have a bit of distraction and normality and you feel up to it. I think if it’s a pregnancy related adjustment you ought to still be paid your usual salary.

Most of all you want to be well rested and not stressed for the best outcomes with IUGR. This is not unreasonable or taking the piss.

GP should support you with any of these options. FWIW from reading your posts I think you should just be off work.

Literally no one you work with will remember any of this time...in a few months or years and when your child is grown up you martyring yourself so you didn't take the piss whilst crying in the toilets in the run up to delivery isn't something any of them will remember or thank you for. But it could be life changing for you. You don't need the stress quite frankly!

Agree with everyone else, get another sick note. Nobody in your work is going to thank you for being in work or think any worse of you if you aren’t, they won’t remember it when you return from Mat leave. Yours and your babies health are priority and that includes your mental health too so put yourselves first. Your mat leave will trigger from 36 weeks and you’ll get more time off with baby after if you don’t start your mat leave now. You are well covered with pregnancy related sickness. Hope you are ok. Don’t feel bad about not being in work.

Thank you guys. I do feel guilty but at the same time don't know how I'll cope with work and hospital appointments. Saying that I'm sitting in a coffee shop eating a sandwich waiting for the hospital bus when I should be working which feels a bit piss taken.

My dad died in may so I had seven days off for that so feel like I'm being ridiculous. Also I stupidly put in for annual leave so I could cope with iugr and was turned down so going sick after that might appear manipulative.

I think baby will be born about thirty five weeks maybe, so much uncertainty.

Don’t feel guilty, 7 days off for the death of your dad is absolutely nothing! Most people have a lot longer off than that! And for them to decline annual leave for u to cope with a pregnancy related medical condition isn’t very supportive at all. The way I see it sometimes when I feel bad I’m not in work for whatever reason (sickness, childcare whatever)…..will they thank you for coming in when you really shouldn’t be there…no….will they feel bad your in when you shouldn’t be there….no….and if you died tomorrow (sorry to use this analogy) you’d be replaced by next week. Put yourself first because they won’t x

My baby had IUGR and was induced at 37 weeks. I also had gestational diabetes which caused the Igur and with shift work I couldn't cope with the 3-4 hospital/midwife appointments per week and I left at 33 weeks. Some weeks reduced hours and then couldn't cope. I had annual leave to use up so done ghat until she was born. It's a worrying time and you need to look after yourself and baby. If that's time off take time off and extend your sick leave until 36 weeks x

Thank you all. Normally they are supportive and they're being lovely about the sickline. I just don't know how supportive they would be if I went back about hospital appointments and everything. My direct manager also seemed to make a point of pulling me up for really little things the day I told her about the iugr, as though her sympathy is exhausted. She's on holiday so I'm reporting to another manager who is lovely. Dreading her coming back and hearing the disapproval in her voice

It's not worth it OP, get your sick note extended and don't think twice.