8 weeks pregnant and unsure what to do

[F1uffy50ck5]

Hi everyone,

I am hoping for some little advice because I am really unsure what to do.

I found out a few weeks ago that I (25f) am pregnant with my long term boyfriend (30m) baby and I am scared and have yet to tell him. Simple reason being, he doesn't and has never wanted kids but I have found myself wanting to keep this baby and I don't know what to do.

At first I was going to tell him straight away but wanted to really analyse what I wanted without his influence. Because I know the second I tell him he is going to use the logistical arguments of "we are in a rented house so not exactly stable for a child" and "we are not in a financial place to raise a child" since I am the only one of us two with a job and even that is coming to an end March 23 as the funding for the project has run out (I would be due in early Feb 23). And I just have no responses for those other than "well I want this baby so we are just going to have to find a way aren't we" which just feels so selfish and that is the worst way to be if you're supposed to be a good parent I think?

Anyway...not really sure why I am posting here, maybe to get others advice of their situations and what they did or didn't do. Maybe advice on the best way of how to broach this with my boyfriend whose first instinct will be to call up the clinic and schedule me an appointment...

I just have no one IRL to talk to, my family are all garbage people who I haven't spoken to in years, I don't have that kind of relationship with any coworkers and his family consists of his mum who rabidly wants grandbabies so would be biased; his sister whom I have spoken maybe 3 sentences to and his brother who would instantly tell him

I'm 16 weeks pregnant at the moment. I'm 25 and my partner is 28 so not too dissimilar to your ages. We also live in a rented property. If we waited until we could afford to buy then we'd never have a baby. Is there a reason your partner isn't working? Probably be the best to discuss it with him and be really honest about your feelings and how much you want this baby. There is never a perfect time to have a baby. We don't have lots of money and it does make me scared but can get lots of stuff secondhand and cheaper

Sorry you find yourself in this uncertain position, OP.

But....it takes two to tango and it's his responsibility now too. I guess he is going to have to get a job!!!

You want to keep the baby so that is your answer, you keep the baby. If he was absolute on never having children then he should of thought about that before having unprotected sex as that was always going to be a possibility. Once he knows it is up to him to decide whether he wants to be part of his child’s life or not.

In terms of renting… I fell pregnancy unexpectedly at 22 and we rented, many people are unable to buy a house these days that doesn’t mean being in a rented house is unstable for a child. We managed fine and had another whilst in rented and have just bought now and have 3 children. The job situation isn’t ideal however could your partner not get a job?! Not having a job for you wouldn’t be forever either.

The other thing to think about is…Would you be happy to do this alone? If he doesn’t want to be with you because you are keeping the baby then plenty of people are single parents and although sometimes a struggle it’s also very rewarding….it is something you need to think about if he decides he’s out. Ultimately it comes down to whether you want the baby or not as I do feel that if he forces you into terminating then you won’t forgive him anyway as you want this baby and will probably end up splitting up over it regardless.

It is not selfish to want to keep your baby it is perfectly normal and natural so you don’t need any other response other than you want to keep it.

hope you are ok

If he didn't want kids, he should have taken suitable precautions.
It's time to talk to him, if you have decided you want this baby, then that's that. Tell him, give him time to process and very confidently tell him what you want to do. Good luck (and congratulations!)

Even if you've taken precautions, they're not 100% reliable. Having sex can produce a baby. People don't seem to remember that enough.

But yes congratulations op!

@tobee i have never been so unsure in my life and don't know what to do. I am a single mother of two 5 and 7 and lost my then 2 month baby boy last year to a vaccine. I never thought I would be standing strong today at school getting my career and keeping motivated. My bf and I are no longer together since I found ou he has another woman pregnant what I don't want for myself I wuldn't want for another . Only to find out that I too am two months pregnant i chose to have an abortion and it is scheduled on the 28 the same day my baby would have been a year. But deep down inside I want this baby . Keeping in mind I would have to do it on my own . I do not know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated

Just to be clear I wasn't be sarky here. I'm more thinking of the father, thinking of his responsibilities, and responding to the poster saying about "should have taken precautions". Plus I should have said pregnancy not baby.

@Ria97160 I am also very sorry for your loss