Should I have the baby or not?

[MissMarplesMarble]

Hi everyone! This is my first post, any help hugely appreciated.
I'm 34 years old, my partner who's 36, and I have been together 5/6 years. We're not married but own a house. We want to sell the house, buy a fixer-upper, he says he will propose, then try for a baby.
(Un)fortunately, I'm pregnant now. It's not a convenient time, as we've not yet sold our current house, he gets 2 weeks paternity (at 90% pay) and I'm freelance so don't get maternity leave -_-
No one except my partner knows about this pregnancy. I'd appreciate your advice - should I go ahead with the pregnancy, despite our plans or end it, in order to stick to the original plan?
Thank you!

You just sit around waiting for him to propose then? Why is that timing his decision?

If I wanted to be married I’d tell him and start organising it. If he stalled, that would make my decision for me - I wouldn’t want a baby with him.

That’s not me saying people should be married, or someone who doesn’t want to marry is wrong. But in this situation where two people say they want to marry - if they other person stalled I’d think they weren’t committed.

What’s going to change about your work or his?

Of course none of my decision making may be right for you… but you did ask!

Honestly reads to me like you want to go ahead.

Good luck in your choice.

Don't be waiting around for a proposal. Getting married is a joint decision.

If you want the baby, have the baby. There is never a right time to have kids and it's always a shock to the system. If you haven't sold your house that's a good thing, maybe just delay the plan for a couple of years. In terms of maternity you can get statutory maternity and tax credits and work around the baby if you are freelance. It's not ideal and will be hard work but life is hard work.

If you want a baby, I would keep the pregnancy,
Plans can change, move around, wait a few years etc
My friend ended a pregnancy because she wasnt married yet and wanted to do it in the 'right' order, but she really struggled to get pregnant again when it was the 'right' time.

The chance for a baby is there now, it might not be great timing but you have enough time to prepare.

Unless you know you really dont want it now, in which case its fine to end this pregnancy

Thanks for all your thoughts, really appreciated.

Testina, he says we'll 'get engaged this year' now it's 'we'll get engaged within the next month'. So I'm not going to act if he says he will, but God knows if he will. I agree, it doesn't seem committed, which is worrying as I'm pregnant with his child. It's frustrating because I want security if have the baby. I want the baby, but am worried this is a selfish act, because my work is insecure (freelance), partner is being insecure due to the above and we're hoping to move. So I'm not sure whether now is right, but I'm past the 10 week mark...

Galt, thanks, I feel that way sometimes too but feel I might be in a more secure place in a few years (38/9) but have no idea what my fertility would be like then.

SpaceJamtart, I'm sorry to hear about your friend, I hope she got there in the end.

I'm not sure if you guys are mums but did you feel you needed to reach a point in your career before stepping back? I feel below where I would ideally want to be. A friend of mine said her baby made her more ambitious, but I mainly hear that babies take women away from their career aspirations and dreams. I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that just as I've not got to where I want to be...