Pregnant again - what should I do?

[Kizzy192]

Hi 👋 looking for some advice... I had our son in July 2021 and I'm due back to work from September (taking a full year plus accrued holiday).

However, I've just found out we're pregnant again. I feel really stupid as it was a complete accident/surprise and I really wanted to wait a bit.

I'm due January, which leaves me telling work I'm pregnant at latest five weeks after I've started back again. I feel awful about this, as I'll barely be there four months before leaving for mat leave again.

Has this happened to anyone else? I feel really guilty, especially as I work for a charity.

On top of that, I won't be returning after my second mat leave as we just won't be able to afford to send two children to nursery. There will be almost a year when my eldest doesn't get funding and we live in an expensive city. We're looking at having to move house as it is.

So my questions are:

Has this happened to anyone else and how did your work handle it?

Should I tell my boss sooner than my return to work in September? (Just thinking it would be a waste of resources to get rid of my mat cover just to retrain another in a few months)

Should I return at all? We would definitely struggle financially, but I feel very guilty and like I'm taking them for a ride. My partner really doesn't like this idea, as he says it's what I'm entitled to and we'd struggle financially at a time when I shouldn't be stressed.

Any advice would be highly appreciated 🙏

Financially, it would make more sense to return as you will then get maternity pay for your second mat leave. You can get SMP even if you don’t intend to go back, but if you leave your job before starting mat leave you will only be entitled to maternity allowance I think.

I returned to work already pregnant again after my first mat leave (literally got positive test on first day back!) and I told them when I was around 10 weeks pregnant because I wanted to give them a head start recruiting mat cover again. It is entirely up to you how you approach it with your work but I think it’s worth telling them before you return so that it isn’t a total shock when you turn up with a bump!

Why don't you return to work a bit earlier if possible? If you're not going back afterwards then a few months of extra earnings now could make a difference. You could choose to take your accrued leave differently eg by doing a 4 day week?

I don't think you should feel stupid at all - go back to work as planned and tell them when you have to not before. It's not personal it's just doing what is best for you. I went back from maternity leave pregnant - it happens all the time.