Congratulations!
36 and then 41. He's 4 now.
I did follow the ttc in your 40s threads here and the book "it starts with the egg." Which I really do think helped. It takes 3 months. Dh also followed all advice too - no drinking and took some supplements.
I now know I was peri menopausal in my late 30s as have fully plunged into it when periods resumed after number 2, and am now on hrt, but that could be me. the average age of meno is 51, with 45-54 being within the range of norm. So I've found it v hard but only had one small as the older one was at school. I also have hypothyroidism which has been an extra challenge as it seems to go a bit wonky in peri. I didn't know you could be on hrt and breastfeed which would have been helpful!
I was prepared to struggle though due to health conditions and made sure child care was there to enable me to cope with work load outside work. The pandemic sort of helped.
If both of you are very much on the same page, really work hard at it, future proof finances, time, careers etc for the 4-5 years before they go to school, you can do it. It goes in a flash. And I mean both - You both need to be honest about how work and rest for yourselves will fit with kids.
Dh could cut hours as much as you. The baby years can be v tough on relationships and giving yourselves the best opportunity to cope is v important.
Also the children. The terrible twos are nothing compared to the threenager years and then there's the fuckit fours. They do need us a lot. And they need us to be patient and able to be there for them.
How to talk to little kids so they listen and how to listen so they'll talk' book is an absolute must.