Scared for 20 week scan :(

[dreamerkr]

Hey guys, I have my 20 week scan on Monday when I will be 19+5, and I’m terrified! I’ve had 3 early miscarriages in the past, and it took us almost 2 years to get pregnant again. This is the furthest I’ve ever been in a pregnancy, I’ve had quite a few scans as I’ve been so anxious since the start. I had scans at 8 and 10 weeks, which were from Tommy’s miscarriage clinic, and then my 12 week scan at 13 weeks, then a private scan at 14 weeks (no comment please), and then a gender scan at 17 weeks where we found out we’re having a boy. ❤️
I’m aware that’s A LOT of scans, but I’ve been so stressed since I found out I’m pregnant that I needed them for reassurance. Also, I haven’t had many symptoms at all. Not much cramping, no sickness at all, no sore boobs even though they are slightly bigger. My stomach is getting bigger but I don’t have a proper bump yet. I have an anterior placenta, so that’s probably why, but I have started feeling what seems like early movements a few times a day. I use a Doppler too, and if it wasn’t for hearing the heartbeat, I wouldn’t even think I’m pregnant.
I’m crazy, I know. Sorry for ranting on! Anyway, I have my 20 week scan in 2 days and I’m freaking out. I know most women do have perfect scans, but I still can’t help but worry. My combined test and NT showed low risk so that’s a good thing. But any advice guys? I’m going mad.

That must be very difficult for you but I would advise speaking to your midwife or GP about how anxious you are feeling as I think you could do with some support with how you are feeling. Speak to your partner, family, close friends etc too.

I’d advise not using the Doppler as they can mask any issues you may have and are not accurate, you need to trust the professionals with hearing heartbeats not at home equipment as tempting as it may be. Monitoring movements is the best way of making sure baby is getting on well. I had an anterior placenta with my little girl so I know movements can be a little slow to get going but try not to worry.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help or monitoring if you genuinely think baby needs checking. Midwives would rather see you a hundred times than miss something so don’t feel like you are being a bother if you genuinely ever feel like something is wrong.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and try to enjoy it as much as you can but do speak to people about how worried you are feeling so they can look out for you and check in with how you are feeling.

I’m sorry you’re feeling to anxious but please throw the Doppler away!!

Thanks guys :( I don’t use my Doppler regularly probably once a week, and 2 days ago I got my midwife to listen to the baby’s heartbeat and all seemed good. I was reassured for probably 2 hours and then started stressing again. I will make an appointment with my GP to talk about stuff soon but honestly, my GP is no good.

I feel as though after a healthy 20 week scan (fingers crossed) I’ll feel a little better but then I’ll probably soon start stressing about something else. It’s crazy.

I don't know if you're a person comforted by stats but when I was pregnant with my twins I found this site really reassuring:

datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer

At 20 weeks, I think it gives you a 99.9% probability of NOT miscarrying

Please speak to your midwife or gp about your doppler so they can explain how dangerous they are. You can't know if your baby is okay just by his heartbeat and they're so unreliable they can do more harm than good. Please reach out for help, even if the gp is useless they may have someone else who can help you

Thank you so much, the stats are definitely reassuring. ☺️

@Lacedwithgrace thank you hun, I will do. ☺️
I did talk about using my Doppler with my midwife 2 days ago and she told me there’s no harm using it if I don’t use it regularly and if I don’t use it for reassurance. I don’t use it regularly at all, and now that movements have started I’ll be using it even less. I’m not depending on my Doppler at all because I know that’s really dumb to do, I’m more waiting for movements to get stronger and more regular and then I’ll definitely throw it away

For baby number one, the consultant told us that really bad news at the 20 w scan is quite rare. What’s more common is finding things that need treatment but are survivable, and what’s most common is a perfect scan.
For baby two we found out at the 20w scan that there was a 95% stillbirth risk. We still took a perfectly healthy baby home a few months later so that first consultant was right in our case.

@MadameDragon thank you so much 🥺 I’m so glad everything was okay for you and you had a healthy baby. ❤️

I'm sorry I don't have any advice to offer other than this.

You're doing amazing! I can't even begin to imagine the anxiety you're experiencing. Hang in there, I'm very sure everything will be just fine with your little boy! Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy and motherhood ❤️

There’s no reason to think because you’ve had early losses there’s anything wrong. I’ve had multiple losses between pregnancies and still have two girls. As others have said the Doppler isn’t a good idea. I would bin it. Apart from the dangers it’s very loud for your little baby

Hey @dreamerkr congratulations on your pregnancy & sorry you are feeling that way. I have been in your shoes and it is so, so tough. The only thing I can advise is to take it week by week & celebrate each milestone - every week is a step closer to viability & meeting your baby. Good luck with your 20 week scan & try to have hope, you’ve come this far.

@MamaWingsIt thank you so much ❤️

@Whoatealltheminieggs i will do, thank you so much. And yeah you’re right! I don’t think the baby likes the loud noise from the Doppler very much as it always moves away from it.

@ChloeK12 thank you so so much. ❤️
haha, I don’t think I’ll relax until I have my baby in my arms! When I start stressing I feel guilty for stressing, especially when I start losing hope. I thought everything would be fine and my stress levels would decrease after the 12 week scan but the 20 week scan is even scarier! Movements are reassuring though. 😊

I hope your scan goes well for you. But please please do not use a Doppler. If you're not trained to use it you really don't know what you're hearing. Placentas can sound like heartbeats. Not to scare you but not the best thing to use.

@PinkButtercups although my midwife did confirm that it was the baby’s heartbeat I was hearing on the Doppler I won’t be using it now as I’m starting to feel movements. Thank you so much 😊

Hi OP, I completely empathise with you 💙
I lost my little boy late in pregnancy last June and I'm currently 31+5 with my rainbow and it has been such a difficult pregnancy in terms of anxiety and needing consistent reassurance.
Like you I was going to so many scans at the beginning because I was preparing myself for the worst. I would definitely speak to your midwife, they may be able to put things in place to help the anxiety. My midwife was happy to see me weekly so I could listen to her heartbeat (which I know doesn't guarantee a happy baby, but it brought me relief!)
I am consultant led this time, so I also have growth scans in place for reassuring, but baby is actually measuring quite big so I would have ended up having these anyway 😂
If I'm being honest, I've only just started to relax perhaps this past week or so. Baby is now kicking really regularly so I'm comfortable that she's okay. Before that I was in and out of maternity assessment worrying about movements. I must have been 7/8 times between 23 and 30 weeks, but they were always so understanding of why I needed that reassurance. You do what you need to get through the pregnancy and keep thinking of that little boy you'll be holding in just 20 weeks time 💙 sending you so much strength and positivity in this pregnancy xx

Oh that's good. My midwife is totally against people using them for obvious reasons.

I get your anxiety though! I suffer with anxiety and the movements are reassuring. I went in about 4/5 times to check my sons movements. If in doubt, always get checked out. They're more than happy to see you.

Carrying twins now so anxiety is even higher 😅

Thanks so much guys for the reassurance ❤️

@PinkButtercups aww, how far along are you?

Nearly 12 weeks. So anxiety is very high!

When’s your 12 week scan?