Midwife booking in appointment - worried about disclosing MH history?

[rosemarycait96]

Hi all,

I have my first midwife's appointment at the start of July, and I'm quite wary about disclosing some aspects of my MH history. I self-harmed had several s**de attempts as a teenager, and have accessed medications, a psychiatrist, STEPPS therapy and CBT in the past.

I don't currently have any mental health problems at all. I am autistic, but with a solid support network, loving husband, and no worries at all about my ability to parent. I feel like any other expectant mum.

I have found it almost impossible to get things like life insurance due to my past attempts (10 years ago and very much contextual to where I was living at the time). So I'm concerned - do I have to disclose my years-old mental health history to my midwife? Or is it just current issues that they need to know about?

I've heard horror stories of ladies having social services involved due to unfounded concerns about their ability to parent, and I am very uncomfortable with the idea of talking about my mental health history when it isn't relevant today, especially since I accessed therapy usually for people with personality disorders (STEPPS).

Anyone else had to navigate this before?

Hi Rosemarycait96, I’ve had similar life experiences to you and I’m also currently pregnant and had my first appointment. I myself have had su**e attempts, have been on and off medication and received CBT, however I’ve felt stable now for quite some time (last attempt being 6 years ago) and have a good support network. I’ve also struggled to get life insurance so I understand that pain too😡.

Please try not to worry (it was a concern of mine too)! They are concerned about making sure you are supported as well as the baby, so be honest with him/her if they ask. However, their main concern is that right now you are feeling supported, safe and have a good network around you, and once I spoke with my midwife I felt much calmer.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I’m happy to hear you have a supportive network and are doing well, that’s all they are concerned about when they ask you these questions❤️

Hi op they don’t automatically lump people with mental health problems with children being in danger and needing social services input so you shouldn’t worry there. Social services are required say if you were unable to look after the needs of your child, they were being neglected or at risk from harm from yourself or family. Certainly not if your mental health is currently stable and you have been or are being treated for it. You shouldn’t cut yourself off or withhold information from them….the more you engage with services and they understand the better. Please don’t worry x

My history is different but I was open with the midwife and really glad. Nothing happened except she gave me some extra phone numbers and explicitly asked me about my mental well-being at appointments which meant I felt supported and knew stuff would be in place if I needed it.

the hormone changes involved in pregnancy/birth/postpartum can trigger tricky brain stuff so it’s worth having a midwife who’s aware and proactive just in case. (I loved the newborn stage and was fine, but glad I had stuff in my notes).

@Kimblefimbles ah thanks so much, that's quite reassuring. It's been difficult navigating areas of life with that history following me around, life insurance solidarity! I'm hoping that it won't cause them any concern as like you say, I'm similar to you and have no problems now, I know exactly where I can go if I need any help, etc. Thanks for the support :)

@Jaaxe thank you :) I know it's not a good idea to not say anything. I think over the years I developed a real mistrust of medical professionals due to having to fight so hard for treatment in the first place. I'm a massive worrier, so thanks for putting my mind at rest a bit.

@Verbena87 Thanks for saying what your process was, good to know what I might expect! We do have a pretty solid family history of postnatal depression on both sides, so that'll be something I'm disclosing for sure. It was just the rest I'm uncomfortable with - but hearing others' stories has put my mind at rest a bit.

If you decide you don’t want to disclose everything you could always just say you have a strong family history of PND and you’re a worrier so it’s one of your concerns. But I do think you’d be fine to share everything you’ve shared here. I’m a teacher and from what I see at work, social services are hard pressed to cover essential work: they are vanishingly unlikely to worry about a mother who displays every sign of having sought and accepted help when unwell (medication and therapy), and is now stable, well and surrounded by an effective support network.

When I had my appointment I was a bit hesitant to disclose but she said they're asking about MH to make sure we get any support we need and to screen for potential postnatal depression. I said about previous MH but that all well managed now and she just said to contact if anything changes because they can offer counselling etc. She was really nice 💛

Nothing you have described or experienced would cause your midwife to refer in to social services. If you do feel able to, share with her that you have experienced difficulties with your mental health in past years, just so she is aware and can offer support should you need it.
I am a mental health nurse and I work attached to children's social care supporting parents who have been referred in. Honestly having a history of mental health difficulties would not prompt a referral.
Congratulations on your pregnancy.