Failed abortion - possible defects.

[Jaykennedy]

Hello ladies,
I'm reaching out for some hope and answers on a sensitive subject that I feel horrid for.
In short, I found out i'd fallen pregnant to my partner who was previously infertile due to a rare form of cancer, I hesitantly attempted medical termination at 9 weeks as I had to decide very quickly on my decision. The abortion failed to find out I was still pregnant at 10 weeks with a follow up scan and told baby was 'doing everything it needs to do' healthy and active. I have had a scan at 12 weeks and the specialist raised enough concern as she couldn't determine the feet and right hand how she wanted to. I have always been aware of the possible defects due to the first attempt and after researching, researching and more research and speaking with experienced professionals on this topic I started to feel hopeful in my next decision to keep my strong darling. In many ways this baby is a miracle. I have since been for another scan at 14 weeks in hopes to determine the legs and right hand as baby develops. I have come out of the ultrasound as worried as the first - still concern if not more re possible club feet due to amniotic bands. Looking back I am immensely regretful and quite angry at myself for attempting the medical abortion. I envy the mothers who have been through a similar situation and baby born healthy and normal. Is there anybody out there who can share their experience? I already can't imagine my life without my miracle but i'm so afraid of this being the case. Is there anything or any miracle foods and fruits I can intake to save my baby from the scary bands inside? I have an anatomy scan in two weeks at 16 weeks to determine babies anatomy and give confirmations. Anything at all, I am willing to try anything or do anything it takes to help baby out. Another question of mine is will these bands heal naturally ever incase there were ever a future with another baby?
I truly love baby already and am so proud of its strength.

Hi OP. Sorry to hear you are going through this. Failed abortion or not, the stress and uncertainty of going through a pregnancy where there's concerns over baby's development is incredibly difficult. I've been through it myself and ended up going through a late tfmr at 28 weeks. My advice to you at this stage is take every opportunity to get scans/tests, speak to specialists. My son's condition was only picked up at 20 weeks and it was a long, slow process to get a diagnosis/understand prognosis. Take your time and take any and all offers of support. You will figure out what's right for you. Big hugs

Hi,
sorry to hear this but happy to hear your Miracle baby is healthy. I am currently going threw with an abortion myself (something I didn’t want to do but had to due to financial problems and many other things)but I now wish I never went threw with this situation and my test has still shown up positive(the one advised to take 2 weeks after taking the first pill). I am just curious as to whether you experienced bleeding and clotting and you pregnancy still went ahead?

Hey, i'm so sorry you are in this too but take comfort we are in this together🌸 Baby is healthy internally, there are amniotic bands and suspicion of loss of right hand fingers and yet to see through scan how his feet are as we discovered there are bands in the area though he is positioned sitting up so the camera couldnt take a closer look until I am a few more weeks I can have an even more detailed scan. I hadn't experience anything within 8 hours of my medical abortion and expected something to happen bleeding, clots, cramps, worst oeriod etc but nothing at all until 8 hours had passed I then passed one clot and filled only one pad throughout the entire duration. I thought that was very odd but family planning decided ' it just must have come out in that one' but it was nothing like they had said to expect and therefore I found out at my next blood test proving my levels still pregnant and darling is still 'active and healthy'. I ended up doing a heck of an amount of research and chatting to anybody at all in range of this topic as my decision felt very blinded and I just did not know. I have since decided to keep baby but am very aware I may have harmed it's little right hand fingers and await to learn about the feet to then truly decide on its quality of life. My reasons for initially terminating thinking back 8 weeks or so was very pressure based and I thought too much about the way my partner felt not being ready. I am however the one who decided on that choice and I regret it everyday in fact I haven't gotten out of bed today it still slumps me not knowing all the answers to my questions re babies health. Trust me that you will find your answers & clarity as you go on and take your time to decide on your own decision, don't let pressure get to you and nobody told me this but if it still doesn't feel right for you then terminating is a possibility much longer than 14 weeks. Let me know if I can help in any way and congratulations💙

Hi @Jaykennedy how are you doing now? Thinking of you

Hi Op, I hope you're well,
How is everything?
I had a failed MA on June 10th a week ago found out I'm still very much pregnant (now 16+4) my scan isn't until the 15th and I am terrified of what damage I have caused them :(

Just to add on during my MA I had heavy blood loss and lots and lots of large clots :(

Hello, thank you very much for checking up.
Unfortunately, I decided to give birth to my son at 17 weeks as soon as I finally found out from the fetal medical scan that the amniotic bands caused by the one clot from the initial termination has amputated his leg, taken some fingers and he had a soft left side of face. I preferred him to came back as another soul with all functioning body parts so he will be able to run and play, hold hands etc so I am holding on to that. His ashes are with me at home surrounded by baby teddy and mama bear teddy and his acknowledgments of life I made sure to keep safe for him. I know now I will never take that initial termination and keep my daring, as it turns out I still and willl forever absolutely love him unconditionally, and mt partner is very much on the same page after all
💝

What a brave decision you made, OP. And what an awful loss. I'm so sorry. Hope you're ok.

@Jaykennedy so sorry to hear this, how heartbreaking, I hope you are receiving lots of support following this xx