‘Baby #2’ is baby #3! Help!

[LittleMrsMama]

I’m I n my third pregnancy, with a lovely DD, then miscarriage and now this baby.

My family and very close friends know about the miscarriage but still call this new baby 'baby number 2' when they talk about him/her.

It really upsets me because to me it's baby number 3, not something I would vocally call the baby, but it absolutely isn't baby number 2 and makes it feel like that loss never happened.

I feel I need something else to ask them to call the baby instead. Any ideas? Anyone else gone through this?

Ahh I felt like this with my baby number 'one' who was really baby number 'two'

In the end DH and I came to accept that she'd always be known as our first child going forward even though baby number one had come and gone years before.

I'm sorry for your loss and wish you all the best!

I'm 29 weeks now having had DD then 3 early losses. I still say this is baby number 2 not 5.

I can totally understand why you're struggling with this. Could you perhaps ask them to call it "the new(est) baby" instead? Sorry for your loss

I also wanted to suggest talking to them about it and just asking them to call it the "new baby".

Try a cute version of your second name. Like if you were Rees-Mogg, it would be Moglette. If you constantly refer to the pregnancy as the nickname, other people will too.

I think the least traumatic way of getting around this would be to pick a nickname as others above have said and ask them to use it. “Ugh I hate calling her baby number 2. Number 2 sounds like poop. Call her ….”

that way you can avoid explaining.

I’m sorry this is happening op.

Maybe you need to reframe for yourself first without diminishing what that means for you.

For me my DC is baby number 7 but 1 for everyone else so I just reframed it, made it clear that DC was pregnancy number 7 and I’d had 6 previous ones that ended in miscarriage but DC was the baby got to hold so certainly baby number 1.

DC knows I had previous pregnancies (constantly wanted a sibling so it was time to explain why that wasn’t going to happen) but even they were ‘oh I’m the first baby’ do reframing it for me really did help.

you’ll have this crop up regularly throughout your child’s life when people refer to your eldest, and you know they’re not for example.

grief counsellor that’s specialises with miscarriage and still birth might be a good idea too op to help you work this out the best way for you.