Preparing for premature baby

[theotherfossilsister]

I was in the August group but it's looking scarily likely that baby boy will be born late June or early July although he was due end of August.

I have been closely monitored for anti ro and low papp-a and he has just slipped hugely down the centile charts from thirteenth to fifth in a fortnight. I'm twenty nine weeks two days. They are going to do lots of monitoring but they warned us that thirty two or thirty three weeks is likely. Possibly by c section as they want to save him the stress of labour.

My partner and I have been invited to meet the neonatologist and ask any questions. I also have to go in with even the smallest reduced movements

I don't know what to think or do.

I had some really helpful replies on Facebook but no one with exact experience I've got.

Also I have anxiety disorder and autism and find it difficult to tell the difference between real fears and anxiety disorder ones.

I'm so worried about my son.

Thank you @LittleRobins

My dp says anyone would be scared and it's normal fear but I just feel this overwhelming dread

Does anyone know what the antenatal ward is like in case I get admitted?

@theotherfossilsister Firstly, you're not stupid. Just very understandably stressed so please be kind to yourself.

Each antenatal assessment ward will be different but usually you will be in a room with 3 other ladies (unless you are given a single room) and various stages of pregnancy. Some may be in for induction, others with threatened preterm birth and those at term whose waters have gone. The care is (or should be) second to none and don't ever feel like you're bothering the Midwives. That is what they are there for.

Hope you're doing ok x

Mson was born at 34 weeks although I went into labour at 31. Every day you keep him inside is making a huge difference.

If you would like to breastfeed, this is the advice I was given:

• get yourself a steriliser and a hospital grade pump (you may be able to rent it from the hospital). I recommend one that has soft silicone flanges rather than hard plastic, I found this much more comfortable
• Start a routine of pumping every 3 hours as soon as possible, including through the night. At least 15 minutes per side, but if you don't feel empty then carry on until you do.
• See if you can leave a little muslin or cloth with your baby for a while so that it's gets his smell on it, photograph and video you baby moving, and when you are pumping away from him, smell the cloth and watch and listen to the videos. Breastfeeding is a very sensory experience and this definitely helped me get more milk. If you can, pump at his bedside.
• You may find it easier to use colostrum harvesters at first because until your milk comes in you won't get much with the pump - don't worry about this, it will happen. Even if you don't get enough supply to exclusively breastfeed, your baby will still get all the benefits from any breast milk you are able to give him.
• Ask the nurses to show you how to hand express and also check for flange size
• Get some nipple cream, lansinoh is great, apply it before they get sore as a prevention, not just a treatment.
• stay hydrated, I drank a 500ml bottle every time I pumped, and eat plenty. Treat yourself, you need the calories. My doctor told me that pumping every 3 hours is equivalent to running 4km per day. You need the calories to heal from your delivery and to produce breast milk.
• Your baby will probably be tube fed at first, but make sure the nurses know if you want to breastfeed when he is ready so they can cup feed in your absence and help you and your baby learn how to do it

Finally, remember to look after yourself. No matter how you deliver, your body is going to run a marathon. It takes time to recover physically and emotionally, so make sure you have plenty of support around you. You don't need to be at his bedside all the time, make sure you get outside, home, look after your mental health.

We were told the first three days are most critical. If he gets through those then he is in a great position. My baby took a dip after the first 24 hours and had to be ventilated for a few days, but you wouldn't know it now, he is strong and healthy and achieving all his milestones for his gestational age.

Am thinking of you OP, NICU can be a scary place, but it is an amazing place, the nurses are wonderful and so supportive. If you can, get a tour of the department so you that it's less of a shock when you get there if you are not used to hospitals.

DTs were EMCS at 31+3, and 3lb. I had had loads of issues and been on the antenatal ward for a week so had the steroid injections. One had to be resuscitated (I was bleeding heavily and she had ingested it) and was on cpap for 24 hours, the other wasn't having it at all and always has been feisty.

The antenatal ward was loud and extremely hot. It's 4 beds to a bay at my hospital. The food was shite, get as much brought into you as you can. Get out of the ward if you can / are allowed. Just a walk down to the cafe or shop or around the block helps.

When it came to it I had to be transferred out to a hospital that took sub 32 weekers, so it was an hour a half to a hospital with two spaces. I got there at 8.30 and they were delivered at 10. After the C section I had some time in recovery with a midwife solely looking after me - I had had an abruption and lost a lot of blood and needed a few transfusions, then I was transferred to my own room not back on to the ward, which they said they try to do so you are not on your own without a baby when the other mums all have their babies with them.

DTs were in NICU for a couple of weeks, but transferred back to our own hospital after 5 days as they had hit the 32 weeks gestation. They were then in SCBU for four weeks. They had no real issues, it was getting them to feed and weight gain. They were just over 4lb when they came home.

You would never know it now. They were the smallest in the class for a while, and it took them a while to get school. They ended up with a late August birthday instead of October which effectively put them in the year above where they should have been.

I would definitely get signed off. I was off from 20 weeks because of a host of issues and I basically sat on the sofa and rested. I'm sure that contributed to their relatively good gestational weights instead of stressing about work and the commute in.

Thank you all. Thinking I might hold on until the next consultant's appointment then get signed off, although I did have to hide twice and cry today.

@theotherfossilsister sending a big hug your way, and i'm so sorry you are feeling this way. You are strong, and you have got this! It is a horribly tough time, but you are passed the viability mark and have the best care going. Crossing everything that your little one stays in a while longer x

Wishing you all the best x

as far as work goes, is it an easy commute & a nice environment//colleagues or stressful?

its normal to be very worried, you're not alone in that, but hopefully you'll get some reassurance from the thread & the more relaxed you can be. Drink plenty of fluids and eat well, for YOU as well as baby DS.

defnitely ask knitting friends to get cracking x

Hello
feeling nervous and worried is understandable.
my waters broke when my son was 26 weeks and I had him at 28 weeks. He was a natural birth but I have had 2 csections before with my older two.
every birth was different but I suppose the csections were more controlled. I was in a lot of shock after my third birth and he was taken to the neonatal ward pretty much straight away.
it was a bit of a journey but he’s 4 now and due to start school in September. I would never have guessed it but I think he will be the tallest out of the 3 by far.
it sounds like the health professionals are making the right decisions for your baby to try and make him safe but I understand with that comes a lot of unknowns.
try and talk to the people you are closest too and tell them your fears and worries even if you think they are small and silly. They need to support and look after you.
we had a therapist attached to our neo natal ward who was fantastic and she really helped me process some stuff. I saw her a few times once my son was discharged too.
i found the neo natal nurses to be very nurturing and caring to me and us as a family.
with your work situation it’s a difficult one but I would say do what feels right for you. Maybe your partner needs to look in to leave for himself once your baby is here? He may be able to get some special leave to begin with?
i found my ipad to be priceless on the neo natal ward. Once I could hold my son we would have skin to skin and then I would watch the iPad or listen to music.
take it easy on yourself.
warm wishes x

I had both my babies prematurely at 30 weeks and 32 weeks. So many babies were before me in neonatal.
There is so much technology these days that I am sure he will be fine, both my babies are thriving. Try relax, he will be ok xx

Thank you all. I just had physio for something unrelated to pregnancy and broke down when she asked how I was.

I've got signed off for two weeks by my gp. Scared it looks bad as I originally asked for this week as annual leave so I could get my head round things and was turned down.

Bad fight with DP last night. He's scared and I'm scared and it spiralled. I am getting lots of support and he's not getting any.

29 + 5 and baby twitching away in there

I also attended an online writing group last night to try to be normal but the extract we looked at was about baby loss in the sixteenth century. It was beautiful but so hard to critique being in this situation

Thirty weeks which feels like a small but important achievement. Terrified to visit the NICU tomorrow

Hello, baby has stayed on his growth curve for the past ten days. Tiny but they are less worried although there is some resistance in the blood flow. Going for ctgs 3x a week and if he keeps growing, ctgs are good and the resistance doesn't increase we will be looking at thirty six weeks.

Thirty one today and remain worried but the idea of going to thirty six is amazing even if he's tiny.

My grandson was born last year at 26 weeks, 1.7 lb his mummy my daughter in law had pre eclampsia.

He was in the hospital 4 months during which time only his parents could visit.

At home wasn't easy, oxygen and nasal feeding tubes but it got better.

He's 1 next month and as of last week completely off the oxygen. I'm not sure of his weight but he's a big chunky, happy laughing baby, he loves being pushed on a swing in the park.

Thank you @Thisbastardcomputer

You're very welcome and I hope all goes well for you and your family x