Partner asking for space/time not sure if I’m reading into it too much

[Lew12345]

Tbh its more me than you.
Everything you do or dont do I want to nag and I dont sometimes and its driving me mad.

I need some time cos im not happy.
I dont want a massive debate about it either

I Received this text from my partner who has just gone over half way of her pregnancy.

I am very hesitant to this and upset because it hasn’t been an easy couple of months and just want some advice on how to help ensure I support her but don’t upset her any tips etc

some background

My partner already has a young boy who is great and she’s an amazing mum with not much support from the father at all, we had an amazing relationship before she got pregnant which was not planned btw and since then she has been so hot and cold more cold I’m talking sub zero

shes A very direct person (arrogant) yet can be loving and caring and lovely to be around but since being pregnant we have both struggled.

She had a horrible first trimester as the morning sickness just overwhelmed her which she didn’t have last time for weeks she couldn’t eat couldn’t relax couldn’t concentrate. She’s also had to deal with general stress of ensuring the baby is healthy of course before the first scan.

now we have just passed the half way mark she is allot better don’t get me wrong let’s say 90 percent better in herself but as us in a relationship it’s got worse.

she comes across like she hates me and don’t want to be near me, talk to me or even be intimate (not just sexual) just enjoy each other company and make each other feel good.

I have tried to be supportive I’m literally there for what ever she needs I have asked her to communicate with me in what she would like me to do we don’t live together and I work full time. But I still want to do more and help where I can.

there is so much to write as it hasn’t been easy more for her of course

if you can just help me try to understand more because I overthink allot and I’ve been through allot of heartache so has she we love each other and I just want her to be okay

Just give her the space that she’s asked for. I know it’s very hard but crowding her right now will push her further away. Just reply stating that you respect her need for some time alone but you’re on the end of the phone if she needs anything.

Not wishing to state the obvious but she's already told you what she needs. She needs some space. So leave her for a while and wait for her to get back to you when she's ready to talk.

Do you think I should message her if this was from last night ? Don't want her to think oh he's bothering me when I said I want time

Well yeah I know that I'm just asking for general ideas advice about the other stuff what will help to communicate with her in general

I would respond yes. Let her know that you understand she needs some space and that you will give her the space she needs. Also let her know that you are happy to do anything that will help her feel less stressed while still giving her space.
I assume that as you don’t live together yet that she is having to work, run a household by herself, all the cooking, grocery shopping etc and care for her older child. Perhaps with a difficult pregnancy this is all just too much to cope with.
can you think what would help take some of that pressure away without crowding her? Can you do her a grocery shop and drop it off at the door? Can you cook her a meal or two to pop in the freezer? Offer to take the older child out for a day out so she gets a break? That kind of thing.
Perhaps you have felt a bit removed from the situation as you don’t live with her and haven’t been doing the things that you would as a family under the same roof so it could be that you wanting attention, intimacy etc may have been just another thing on her overflowing list of things to do! If you can help with some of the other things on her list then some space could be freed up for time spent together again!

Thankyou for that I think your right massively but what don't help is she's had to do everything with the support from her mum because of her previous partner who is pretty much non existent and because of this she's very hard to let go and trust me with things when she decides to talk I will mention all of these but thankyou

Some of this could be in part her hormones - the need for space, and that you are irritating her

As suggested reply saying that you understand, that you love her and want to support her with getting in her space and is there anything you can do regularly or as a one off to help. Then make some suggestions.

I have read allot about hormones

Is there anything anyone can advise or just talk to me about as in how badly it affected them is this common ? Because I can try to understand but can't

ok with the hormones but to me she sounds quite difficult.

it is difficult with hormones but not that much as to push someone away.

What should I do ?

I'm not coping with it well as it is

keep your communication open and live your life.
sorry.

Yes, reply to her text to say that you respect that she needs a bit of time and space but you’re at the end of the phone should she need anything. No matter how hard this is for you, don’t be tempted to beg, plead, hassle her. It will push her further away. If you ultimately want the relationship to last you must step back for now. You’ll need to be very strong and act cool despite feeling heartbroken inside. Trust me on this, I’ve learned this lesson time and again! Just step away for now.

I agree just hard like you said

Thank you for the advice