Weekly midwife app

[fja]

I'm 30 weeks and have to see my midwife weekly for blood pressure checks because of previous high blood pressure in pregnancy.

I suffer with anxiety (anything to do with driving to and from places) and my partner has informed me he's on his way home from work. I asked if he could take me to my appointment and if he doesn't want to come in then just wait in the car.
He's clearly annoyed about it because his mood completely changed over the phone, he told me I need to get over this anxiety stuff.
I feel a little hurt seeing as I'm constantly feeling depressed at the moment due to worrying about my blood pressure, baby is currently on the 5th centile too so is apparently small which I'm a little worried about.

I have to go to all my appointments/scans alone because he straight up refuses to take the time off work. I understand he wont come to all of them but now that things are becoming little problems I'd have thought he'd want to be there for support.

Sorry if this doesn't make much sense. I think I just needed to rant 🙃 I'm probably just overreacting and need to sort it out

I think with so many appointments, it's not unreasonable of your DH to be unable to attend the appointments. Better to save his holiday for when baby is here. You will need his help more then than now.

What is the problem with you getting to the appointments? The driving? Parking? Going alone? Are you getting any help with your anxiety ? I had CBD therapy with mine which really helped.

Is getting a Taxi/bus an option if it's just the actual driving until you get on top of the anxiety?

@User354354
Yeah I totally understand he won't be able to make all appointments. But the fact he's currently on his way home and will be able to come to this appointment with me but gets annoyed because he can't just relax.

It's the whole process of driving, other road users, parking situation, traffic. I'm getting better with the driving since having a new car so there is a slight difference compared to what I used to be like.

I wanted to try CBD oil but because being pregnant I don't know if it's safe to do so. I won't be doing it until after the baby. I speak to my midwife weekly though and get anything off my chest with her

I had CBT therapy for my post natal anxiety (choice of over the phone and in person) which really helped. However if your DH is already off work and doesn’t need to take holiday then he could come with you, it’s always nice to hear the baby’s heartbeat even if the rest of the appointment is boring.

@fja so sorry that was a typo. I was not recommending CBD oil !!

I meant CBT therapy. (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy)

If he said ‘darling, I really can’t be taking time off work weekly, it’s not doable’ then I’d completely understand where he was coming from

unfortunately he’s being a bit of a nasty fucker about it

Couldn't you explain the situation to your midwife and get a BP monitor to use at home, and regularly updated her with the readings? Or does she do something else at the appointments?

@tealandteal
I'll have a look into this once I've had the baby, thank you!

@User354354
Hahahah I'll look into this 😂

@Suprima
Yeah, I totally understand if he's unable to attend due to work commitments, I've done a lot of the appointments by myself last time and this time round. I think it's how he's reacted about it which has upset me a little x

@Regenbogen22
So I have a BP monitor at home but she's told me to stop doing it because it seems to make it worse because I'm worrying about it all the time.
If I go to her she can test my urine and other bits to definitely make sure there's no issues (pre eclampsia ect).
The monitors seem to show my BP higher than when it's done manually too for some reason so I'd prefer to see her because she always checks manually

He has refused to attend any scans and appointments for you and the baby you are having together? I'm not surprised you are upset. Is he interested at all in the pregnancy?

I have weekly appointments with my community midwife for my anxiety. These appointments are for me, so I go alone. DH has been with me to scans and will attend appointments with the Obstetrician, as these are for both me and our baby. I appreciate not everyone can take time off work easily, but I would be really upset if DH didn't attempt to support me with scans and important appointments relating to our baby.

How far is it? Can’t he drop you and go back home? Not much fun waiting around for ages in the car but is that necessary? Or just get a taxi?

Telling you to get over your anxiety is so unhelpful. If you could, you would!