Feel so guilty to think like this, but baby hurts me so much, I'm in pain all the time.

[BlindBint]

My due date is in 39 days. This is my 2nd full term pregnancy, I have a 10 year old daughter and have had 6 miscarriages-also this pregnancy was originally a twin pregnancy, but unfortunately one of our baby boys didn't survive.

For a week now I have been in what the medical people are calling "Pre-labour". A few weeks ago I was admitted to hospital in early labour, but luckily they were able to stop it, and gave me steroid injections to mature Baby's lungs. I have been told that I am 1cm dilated and my baby is at station 1. They have said that they will not do anything to stop me if I did go into established labour because they are happy with baby's development and size, and because he has already had steroid injections.

Last night was the worst yet. I am still getting pains every 20 minutes, as I have been for the past week, but just to add interest, last night Baby thought it would be great fun to push against my ribs and pelvis simultaniously. (sorry about the spelling mistake!)

I was crying and begging the baby to stop. I know the poor lad doesn't mean it, he needs more room but I have no more room to give him.(I am only 4ft 8ins tall) He kicks me really hard in the ribs, and headbutts me in the pelvis. My hip joints feel as if they are going to snap and my back feels sharp. I feel battered and bruised. I've had no real sleep for days.

I was almost wishing that I hadn't got pregnant in the first place-which makes me feel so guilty, especially as I've lost so many babies in the past and we were TTC for nearly 2 years to get this little boy of ours. I am at the point where I dread every movement the baby makes, because it hurts so much. That makes me sound like a terrible mum. I know there are people who would give anything to be lucky enough to be pregnant-I was one of them.

My DH keeps saying "Just hold on for a little while longer, we've not long to go now". Which makes me feel even worse because I can't imagine having this pain for the next 39 days. I've spent almost all today in tears so far. I want this to be over.

Please, I really need some words of wisdom. This is my partners first baby, so he doesn't know how to help me. I love my baby, but I just want him out. I'm feeling completely incapacitated. I cannot go far from the house because I need the loo all the time, when i walk my hip joints feel as if they are going to snap. If I sit down I get excruciating pain "Down there" from baby's head, and if I lie down, baby complains and starts to kick and wriggle, pushing against my ribs and pelvis.

I really can't cope any longer.

Please help me.

XxXxX

Oh, sweetheart

Have you got a birthing ball? Could you lean forwards over it to take the pressure off your joints? I used to sit leaning my forearms on the arm of the sofa, kind of propped with cushions so that my bump hung down and didn't squash my ribs/pelvis/back, etc.

This is Mother Nature's way of making sure you don't mind going into labour - because you're so desperate for the baby to be "out", I think.

Good Lord that sounds awful, and of course you shouldn't feel guilty, I bet you can't wait to get the baby out. You must be exhausted.

When are you due to see your Dr/MW? I would advise seeing someone asap and telling them what you have described here. It sounds like torture. Poor you.

My god you poor thing, that sounds absolutely awful (I th=ought I had it bad - feeling very soft/silly having read that!)

I agree 100% with 3 littlefrogs ring the M/W or even the hospital.

XXX

I'm next due at MW on wednesday, and at hospital on friday. I've tried birthball but baby just loves it even more.
MW is as much use as a husband in a knicker shop, and hospital are just as wonderful.

Have ordered lots of strange sounding homeopathic stuff and aromatherapy oils today to see if it helps encourage baby.

thankyou for your lovely comments. It's good to know someone out there is taking me seriously.

XxXxX

Oh dear I am so sorry. What a lot to put up with on top of ordinary pg aches and pains and tiredness etc. You say they are happy for you to go into labour now - but presumably they won't induce yet? This is such a tough one and I am sure we all understand why you have wished you were not pg

Yes, that's right, they won't induce me, the only advice I've been given is go to the hospital if my waters break or pains get to be 2 or three every 15 minutes. I've been losing bits of a show since 30th december, yet they don't seem to be worried.

I wish that someone would make some kind of decision. I think that they are very reluctant to induce me, not just because of me being not overdue, but I am not able to have prostaglandins due to my eye condition (I am registered blind).

XxXxX

hi hun, i know exactly how you feel, ive been getting all sorts of pains, maybe not your extent, but to the point where i could cry, my baby gets her arms i think it is stuck in my groin area, and thats the painfull one, it feels like someone has just stuck a red hot poker in there!! and like you im tiny, (5ft3ins) with a very small frame, was only 8st pre-preggers, put on nearly 3st now and ive got 3wks left, but shes getting that big now that my belly is getting stretched to the absolute max and that makes the pain worse, sometimes it hurts down there that much that it feels as if my cervix is about to pop open. i sometimes find that then only way she will settle down is by lying on my right side with a pillow between my legs, but everyone is different and it depends on how baby is lying.But think of it this way, when hes born , none of this will matter, only that you have your baby, finally!!!

If uit is any consolation at all, I recall being totally fed up and crying and in pain at around 34/5 weeks, thinking I could not go on...I had spd etc.

It did not remain that bad for the last few weeks. In fact it eased as the baby dropped (second baby, still dropped, though he went in and out a few times lol!) and also it just was Ok as the end was nigh.

I really hope you get some relief soon.

Not a sort of heartburn ache is it, at the rib end? We are all on the lookout for preeclampsia signs after a thread where a MNer diagnosed and saved another MNer!

Hee hee,
nah, it's not a heartburn kind of ache, but thanks for the suggestion. It's bloody big kicks and squirms. Baby is already engaged. It's definitely my lad trying to get comfy. Just wish he would try to get out!
DH has just come home from work, and has thought it very amusing to say to my bump through an empty kitchen roll (yes, he actually undid a whole kitchen roll just to get the cardboard tube from the middle.....) "Go to the light!" "Head south!" to the baby.
Oh how "comical".

Hi BlindBint, I have had lots of pain throughout this preg and each time my baby moves I get such bad pains. I have been told that as I have had a few operations on my tummy that each time my baby moves and grows my tissue rips, which then causes me to scream, cry and bleed. My MD and dr have only given me co-codomol but this doesn't help it makes it worse as I have IBS. Not helping am I!! Sorry. What Im trying to say is that your not alone in thinking the way you do. Somethings work for me like swimming, a bath, birthing ball or rotating my hips. I have tried everything to try ease the pain. Keep on at the MW and dr and try push to get induced thats what im doing. I have another 5 weeks and 3 days to go until im due.
xxxx

Hiya

Ah, another baby who pulls that trick! Thought mine was the only one . My DH says I have a special owowowow face to go with it. I find that this helps:
Talking to him (also known as begging him to get lost ) while stroking my bump
Walking around
Stretching myself, arms above head.

Not sure it is about getting comfy, I think it is about engaging more, using bum/knees as leverage to get the head down further, but I am only a first timer so no expert. But I do sympathise!

Congratulations on the pregnancy (even if it doesn't feel so grand right now...)!
I REALLY sympathise. I have a painful joint condition that predates being pg and got a hell of a lot worse when I was; I got SPD, too, for added agonies. Plus I'm short (5ft 2) and ds was off-the-top-of-the-chart huge, so the poor lo had no room at all towards the end. I hear that some babies stop moving around so much in the last few weeks; didn't happen for me , but fingers crossed for you!
Things that might help: as well as a pillow between your knees, try sleeping on top of a folded-up duvet to cushion your poor pelvis. I saw a fantastic obstetric physio; might you be able to get a speedy referral? Mine had me trussed up in a giant tubigrip bandage, which stopped that feeling that your hips are about to fall apart. There is pain medication you can take that won't harm your lo, but obviously that's one for your doc.
My hospital also offered acupuncture, which eased my pain levels and helped me sleep. Apparently they can also kickstart labour?
Oh, and it honestly does get better once the bump is out! Good luck.