Husband still not allowed in scan?!

[PoleFairy]

I was 6 weeks pregnant yesterday and I had a small, painless bleed Friday night and today I've had a lot of cramping. Went to the doctors this afternoon and they've booked me a scan at the early pregnancy unit on Friday to check if it's ectopic/not viable/all okay. I've been told husband is reluctantantly allowed to sit in the waiting room (and this was very reluctantly!) but he can't come into the scan at all 🙁. I'm really upset (and haven't even told him yet!). How can they be so cruel, its not even a normal scan I'm literally going there because there is something wrong. This is 50/50 bad news.

This was in 2021 though, might be different at my hospital now

This was totally opposite to me when I had to go EPU, my partner wasn't allowed in waiting room, had to wait outside but he was allowed in to the scan. I just had to ring him when going in.

Are you sure you haven't got this mixed up?

Seems every hospital is totally different. DH was allowed at my 12 week scan but had to leave immediately after when I went for midwife checks, absolutely ridiculous 🙄.

In my trust partners are allowed at 12 and 20 week scans and also fetal medicine, but not EPU or any midwife appointments.

@Cas112 100% I called and checked. They said with a negative lft he can enter the waiting room but isn't allowed into the scan but is allowed into the consultant room with me after to talk over everything. Thing is though surely I'll be able to tell if its bad news from the scan. They'll be nothing there / no sound / they won't say anything so I'll still be "getting the bad news" alone. Ill just hear it properly in the consultant's room after.

It will be because of covid and it's getting ridiculous now, NHS & GP surgeries for that matter need to move on & get with it.
My partner was allowed in with me for my most recent scans, so it seemed to be hospital dependant.
The only time he isn't allowed in with me is if we have our child with us, as it's a no child policy.

@PoleFairy you'll be told instantly either way. I've had 4 scans at the PA EPU and they all follow the same schedule. You don't see the screen as it faces the sonographer. For good news the sonographer instantly said "I can see baby's heartbeat!" and turned the screen so I could see.

For bad news it took longer, she moved the probe a lot and clicked a lot on the machine. I guess because they have to be certain. She then stopped scanning and told me the bad news, then I was asked if I wanted to see baby on the screen and if I wanted a photo.

On both occasions I was then taken to a consult room and the nurse fetched my partner.
Sending you a virtual hug, it's a heartbreaking wait (for either outcome) but I honestly can't fault the staff. They know it's a crap situation Xx

@PoleFairy I'm for a scan Friday and it will be bad news and I'll have to hear it alone. It's so shit

@SareBear87 thanks for letting me know what the appointment will be like. I have never been pregnant so no idea what to expect.

@MrsGrealish i pray you have good news Friday! Please stay strong x

Hi, I just wanted to give a bit more info about what your appointment might be like as I have had four epu scans over two pregnancies, all due to bleeding. All ultimately had good news.

Three of the four scans were abdominal only. In these, the sonographer spent a few moments looking at the screen, then said "Well I can see a heartbeat, I'll just do a couple more checks" and was quiet for a little while longer. Then she turned the screen towards me and showed me the heartbeat plus pointed out other features such as yolk sac and foetal pole.

In the other scan, which was also my first, the sonographer was quiet for quite a while then said "I can see a yolk sac but can't make out the embryo clearly, we'd like to do an internal scan". I said yes of course and after I'd been for a wee and emptied my bladder as thoroughly as possible we started that. Basically, it involves the ultrasound probe going into your vagina. She was then quiet for another eternity, moving the probe around, before saying "ah, there it is!" and turning the screen towards me to show me the heartbeat. She then continued to move the probe around so that she could check my ovaries and fallopian tubes, as it's possible to have a twin pregnancy where one embryo implants correctly and the other implants ectopically. Thankfully I was all clear.

All ultimately fine and the bleeding was pout down to an irritated cervix.

I was at a Hampshire hospital yesterday and wasn't allowed anyone with me either.

Maybe they have a surge of staff illness at the mo. and are trying to maintain services by limiting contact. It won't be because they are trying to be cruel.

@CoalCraft thank you so much

How awful, please try not to worry. Fingers crossed everything is ok.

At Birmingham women’s partners have been allowed into scans for ages! I’ve had three there over the last few weeks with Tommys as I have a history of recurrent miscarriage and my last miscarriage was in August, back when covid measures were very much in place and my husband was allowed in even then! What you’re saying seems desperately unfair. 😭

Thank you everyone for your kind messages. I had my scan this morning and miraculously there was a little heartbeat and a healthy pregnancy measuring 5.5-6 weeks. Totally stunned and stumbled out into the waiting area to tell DH who promptly burst into tears.

There was no sign of the bleeding internally so they think it was my cervix bleeding externally (in fact when she withdrew the wand she scans with it was covered in blood). She said to expect it to continue on and off throughout the pregnancy. We feel so relieved and lucky.

So glad your scan was a success @PoleFairy

I have an possible ectopic and next scan is Monday at my EPU. It will be my 8th scan there (my last pregnancy in March was ectopic). OH hasn’t been allowed into a single one and also not even allowed in the waiting room. It’s so horrid.

@WednesdayStar4 im so sorry, I pray everything is OK for you! I'm so sorry your husband isn't allowed in. Mine had to wait in a waiting room outside the EPU (not the actual EPU waiting room) it was weird because they then came and got us and let him into the meeting room after. He just wasn't allowed in the scan or the EPU. All very odd.

Great news, OP. You must be feeling very relieved now.

The cervix can breed more easily in pregnancy due to hormonal changes, and it’s quite common.

Bleed, not breed 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

@Snowflakes1122 very relieved. Still confused as there was nothing I could have done Friday to aggrivate the cervix but the doctor said even coughing or sneezing can cause it so maybe it was something like that! Not really looking forward to it continuing but hopefully I'll keep calm next time

My baby is 9 months old and my husband was allowed in for all my scans way back over a year ago! Never once needed to take an LFT either.

I'm so glad you had good news.

My area have literally only just this week allowed partners into scans apart from the 12 and 20 week ones, no matter why you're having them. It's inhumane IMO - people aren't having these extra scans for fun.

@CoalCraft im high risk and attend all my growth scans at princess ann, the letters say nobody is allowed in with you but my partner has come to every single one with me and nobody has stopped him or even asked for a lateral flow test. Ive not had to attend the epu this time round though, i did with my first born in 2020 and in march 2020 had to attend the epu for a scan after going to a&e with bleeding and a&e my partner was told he could come with me to the scan then at the scan he was told to go wait in the car, i was in bits.

@PoleFairy glad it good news for you! Here's to an uneventful pregnancy!! Xx