Is it normal to feel this way?

[Riviera16]

Hi everyone!

A few days ago I took a test which turned out to be positive so I'm about six weeks pregnant. I stopped taking the pill a few months ago and my partner and I have been having unprotected sex. We certainly haven't been trying and were more like if it happens great so I am really surprised to how I am currently feeling.

When I looked at the test and saw that it was positive I burst into tears and sadly not of joy but I just felt so scared. I'm not sure why I felt so shocked as I knew that we might get pregnant which I thought I would be okay with as we both wants kids but after so many months of nothing happening I guess I just forgot and got on with life if that makes any sense?!!

My partner is over the moon and I couldn't have asked for a better reaction when I told him the news which is both amazing but also made me feel worse as I didn't feel the same.

It's been a couple of days since finding out and my mood is so up & down. One minute I'm in tears thinking how can I do this? I don't even know where to start when it comes to looking after a baby? Our lives are just going to change dramatically etc etc then the next minute I think okay even though this isn't perfect timing that maybe this is a sign and it's what is meant to happen for us now (I was ideally hoping I'd get pregnant in the next year or two).

I really don't know how to feel and I'm scared of giving up our current lives (I understand that may sound selfish)

Is it normal to feel this way? I haven't felt ready to speak to any friends about it just yet so would love any advice. Thanks xx

It was definitely normal for me. Like you I had a planned pregnancy and was then convinced I’d made a terrible mistake. Unfortunately the same happened for DP - two people spiralling isn’t great! I did get over it but I think it took me until 16 weeks to stopping feeling like I might duck out of the whole thing. Finding out the sex has helped me (and DP) a lot.

It's completely normal.
It took us 18 months to conceive.
He was traumatised, I was terrified.

We've got two now and they're absolutely bloody brilliant!

Yes it's perfectly normal. I'm 30 weeks and been sitting here today thinking 'how will we manage' 'what about nursery costs when I'm back at work'. I will feel different later on but it's just a rollercoaster! Congratulations! X

Thank you for your replies. I feel so disappointed that I haven’t initially felt over the moon. It wasn’t how I expected to feel :(

I was exactly the same! Pregnancy was planned but I wasn't expecting it to happen so quickly and had settled into the idea of a few more months of negative tests but that didn't happen and BAM I was pregnant. I'd always thought my initial reaction would be of overwhelming joy and excitement but it wasn't at all like that if anything it was more "Oh F*#k! What have we done!?"
I'm now 26 weeks and those feelings have definitely died down but I think it's totally normal to feel a bit on and off about it. So many people would ask me "are you excited!!" And my response would always be "yes but also worried, scared etc etc" I think people expect everyone to just be "excited" about pregnancy but in actual fact it's 100 other emotions as well.

Yes that’s exactly how I feel! I’m absolutely terrified. Is there anything I can do to help these feelings? I really don’t know what to do

Some therapy might help, it did for me and DP. Even just talking about your fears with your partner/friends/family.

Becoming a parent is a leap into the unknown and your brain doesn’t know how to process it at the moment. The thing to remember is a “what if” thought is an anxious thought and there’s no reason to believe it’s true. I found that it was very easy to visualise the downsides and impossible to imagine the good bits. But therapy helped me understand that the bad fears were just my imagination, they weren’t facts and they weren’t a given.

I’m feeling the same OP, although my pregnancy wasn’t planned at all! I’m still in shock as only found out yesterday and I keep swinging from ‘everything will be OK’ to ‘Why has this happened now, I won’t cope!’ 😫 I’m sure it’s normal as having a baby is one of the biggest life changing things that can happen to you…

I'm so thankful that I'm not the only one going through this. I have been begging for my partner for a baby for two years and he finally gave in and started not being careful. Then that same month, I got pregnant. I couldn't believe it. I should have been elated but I felt anxious and scared immediately. I haven't been to verbal about it and keep my feelings to myself. I'm so nervous for everything, baby's health, my health, labour, blood tests which I hate! Hospitals. It's just a lot. I thought I would be happier but oddly enough, I just feel unsure. My midwife said 'congratulations' to me and I just smiled. I hope I can start enjoying my pregnancy. Hugs to anyone's who feels anxious and scared. It's okay not to be okay xx

Thanks for the replies! I’m sorry to hear that some of you are also experiencing these feelings but I am slightly relieved that I’m not the only one. I too struggle to share my feelings with friends/family etc so this has really helped. It’s been a week since finding out and unfortunately I’m still really up & down. Generally just feel quite lonely too.