To want third baby...

[BlakeBoyMum]

Interested to know how others dealt with wanting 3rd baby.

Married in Feb 2019, DS1 Jan 2020, DS2 Jul 2021 (pleasant surprise, 18m between, hard at first)

I'm wondering about having a third and whether it has ruined or made your family dynamic. For info, DH is much older than me so if we do have a third it'd need to he a short age gap again. I'm only 30 so no issues with me.

2 bed house, room for DS2 to share with DS1 when needed, 2 big cars, 2 decent jobs (I'm part time). Neither of the boys are in nursery and won't go until they get 30 hours.

Would desperately love a daughter but aware it's likely to be another boy. I was thinking May ish for arrival, already have double pram so that would be fine.

Both pregnancies fine, GD in both so both induced but the second inducing was much nicer than the first and allowed me to plan childcare 😆

Any experiences or advice 😊

2 bedroom or did you mean 3 bedroom? This might make all the difference!

Haha I wish we had a 3 bed, but no, just a 2 at the moment. Room for the cot in our room and room for 2 beds in the second room.

Intention is to buy a 3 or 4 bed once we get there.

well can you afford it?
bigger house
bigger car if you need to change to get one that can take 3x car seats
childcare for 3
and thinking to future
after school activities, clubs, holidays etc

House, we will be able to.
Cars are fine for 3 seats.
Don't need childcare.

See your point on the other stuff. I'm not a big holidayer anyway..

Our 2 DC are very similar ages to yours but we only had 13 month age gap. I'm now pregnant with an unexpected 3rd and husband wanted to terminate, I said no and am keeping it. It's put a huge strain on our relationship but if you are both on the same page and plan it I think it's worth doing! We have a 2 bed too so need to move, and need a bigger car as can't fit 3 seats in the one we have, so as far as all that goes you're already in a better position than me! 😂 kids are always hard work, it depends how much you want another as to whether it's worth it. I always wanted another (although not this soon!) so I'm willing to make the sacrifices for that to happen, my husband, not so much.

In your situation I would go for it, as long as DH is also not just 100% on board, but actively enthusiastic. 3 kids is a lot, and it will be especially intense with small age gaps between them. You need him to be an equal co parent.

If you can, I would wait a bit longer - I had 2.5 years between numbers 2 and 3 and it was dreamy. But friends who had a smaller gap between 2 and 3 really struggled. The sleep deprivation is intense and there’s not much of a chance of any time to yourself with 3 little ones.

Babies are beautiful. How many 'big' kids do you see yourself with, how many teenagers do you see yourself with?
I think that they are easy to afford when they are little, but it when they hit school it gets so much more.
I like the chance to have lots of one on one time with mine, so stayed with two. I also knew that I had the emotional and financial bandwidth for two. I felt that was risky with the third, so couldn't take that risk.

I have 3 and love it although 2 are twins so 3 wasn't necessarily planned 😂 based on the info you've given I'd say there is no reason not to have a 3rd if you want one (ignore the environmental virtue signallers who will no doubt be along soon). Mine are young though so 3 cute little kids I know is different to 3 teenagers rampaging through house

A lot of people cite uni fees as a reason not to have more kids but honestly no guarantee that all your kids will want to go to one and if you live in a city like we do within easy reach of several very good universities and so they can live at home then also no reason not to have a third