I don't know if this is the right place or if anyone can help...
I have a 1 year old and I am 20w pregnant.
It's a long story... but in short my marriage has fallen apart a bit since the birth of our first child last year. I am a SAHM and my DH works. We moved abroad recently and I don't know anyone. I feel extremely lonely. I have turned into an angry frustrated person mostly towards my husband. I HATE it. My MIL has come to visit this weekend and my daughter clings onto her and avoids me. I feel like a horrible mother now. I feel hurt and useless. the world is not a great place right now and I regret wanting another baby... wanting for my kid to have a sibling.
I have these strong urges to hurt myself, to run, to end it all. I feel so sad about it.
I had serious mental health problems when I was younger with depression and self harm. I have been through so much medication, inpatient, therapy.... I really thought I was fine but I don't think I am.
It's really hard for me to say it because I am ashamed of it when everyone think I am doing so well.
I don't know what to do. I was feeling so low that I asked my DH to go out with our DC and his family and leave me alone. And now they are coming home, I went out and don't want to go back. I dont want to cause a scene but I can't stop crying. I feel so hopeless