Name for girly bits!!

[Honey2]

So here’s a bit of a random question…… (hope this is ok to post!)
After previously having 3 boys I’m now preg with a girl (due any day!) and we have been thinking about the more casual name you use for a girls bits! I know the ‘official’ line is to call it the proper name (vagina) but of course for the boys we normally refer to their ‘Willy’ as it’s pretty much universal…. For girls however seems to be more regionally decided. We no longer live where I grew up so I’m not sure the word I used as I child is appropriate (and I hate it). What does everyone call it with their little girls?!!!

thanks

You'd hope a social worker would have clarified that with specialised dolls.

Why does gentleness matter? It always matters with young children. There's absolutely no need to use harsh words.

Flower, privates, nunu, front bum

They would.

However children who know AND USE anatomically correct words for their genitals are statistically less likely to be abused in the first place.

It's about prevention. Not conviction.

There was an interesting thread recently on MN where quite a lot of female posters thought that kids should not even be taught the word or existence of the clitoris at Key Stage 3 PSHE! (age 11-14!) 😮

So good old fashioned prudery is perfectly alive and well in 2022. I can’t help thinking that if more people used vulva in a perfectly matter of fact way, the coy mystifying of female anatomy might be a little less prevalent. Why should girls always have to have twee flowery fairy euphemisms as if it’s 1910 and terribly shocking that women have vulvas?

I once told a GP the skin of my introitus was sore and she looked quite surprised and asked if I was a doctor. (Not suggesting we teach five year olds “introitus” btw!) Whereas no GP would think it bizarre if a man spoke about his foreskin or glans. Always the penis is the default and female anatomy is considered a mystic unnamed land - spoken of sotto voce as the “privates”, the “undercarriage”, “down below” (as if, like the Southern Hemisphere, only recently discovered by European cultures …)

How do you expect a teacher to twig that?

I know of a child who was out sick experiencing pain when peeing, and told their teacher their "aunt Mary was sick" so that's why they weren't in. The teacher met the parent later and said "oh I'm so sorry to hear about the girls aunt Mary. Is it serious" before the mother copped and had to explain they had taught their girls to say "aunt Mary" for vulva / vagina...

Boy bits and girl bits, of course there's an equivalent.

Do some posters not read, at all?

I said there is no equivalent to 'girly bits'. Not that there is no equivalent to 'girl bits'

'Girly bits' sounds demeaning as there is no male equivalent to that diminutive.

HTH

Of course they clarified with dolls. As I say people knew what she meant but the way the law works still blurred the lines during trial making it more of an ordeal for the victim and her mother.

Do some posters not read, at all?

Rude!

If we're teaching young boys correct terminology for anatomy - penis and testicles, then by the same logic, we should be teaching girls the differences between inner and outer labia, vagina and clitoris. Isn't that a bit baffling and unnecessarily complicated for very young children?

Yeah, but true, sorry - I was really clear and you misquoted me completely

we should be teaching girls the differences between inner and outer labia, vagina and clitoris.

Why?

Why does a young child require this information? And older teen / pre-teen, sure

It's not about striving for some exact equivalence. It's about what makes sense and is needed.

However children who know AND USE anatomically correct words for their genitals are statistically less likely to be abused in the first place.

Can all the posters wanting 'gentle' words that can be said in McDonalds without embarrassment, who believe that nunny/mary/flower is just as universally understood as willy or bum....please reflect on this. However insightful you believe teachers or social workers to be- when abusers try to target a child who can accurately name parts of their body, they are more likely to leave that child alone. Isn't that worth getting used to saying 'vulva'?

That was precisely the point I was trying to make for the people who disapprove of using "cutesie" names.

Me and my sister were brought up with penis and vagina (which I know is wrong now, but I'm glad my mum taught us those names) and my sister couldn't pronounce vagina so called it "the joiner". 😂 Still makes me laugh.

Front bottom... I know, it's awful but it was simple.
I loved friends who called it a Frilly to match a willy!

😂😂😂we are a flower in this house

That was precisely the point I was trying to make for the people who disapprove of using "cutesie" names.

Well, I don't 'disapprove', I just disagree but I think the point is different.

The 'cutsie' names are not easily understood by those who need to - sure, within a family, not not with others who they might need to use the terms with (childcare, school, medical)

But equally, they are unlikely to need the detailed anatomical terms like labia etc so this matters less for children.

A lot of posters here seem to be unaware of a fundamental point of language - words matter. Our words shape our thoughts and our thoughts shape our feelings and beliefs. Words carry inherent meanings that affect the way we feel about the things they symbolise. If children grow up in a household where a boy child has 'Lord bits' and a girl child has a 'fairy', those children will believe on some level that the boys 'lord bits' make him stronger/more powerful/more in charge and the girls 'fairy' makes her delicate/mysterious/small. Because these are the meanings carried by these words.

Apostrophes matter too, sorry!

If children grow up in a household where a boy child has 'Lord bits'

While I agree with your wider point about language, this is over-doing it.

The poster who shared that had all girls, so her DH was the only male in the house. The 'Lord' bits is a tongue-in-cheek reference to this dynamic & no need to presume it extends to creating a culture of male superiority.

Humour matters too, you know.

The poster that had Lord bits also had Lady bits so I'm assuming thats why the Lord bits name was coined.