When did you tell family?

[Confusssed1]

Hi everyone! Just found out I'm pregnant with our first baby and really unsure when to tell our parents! On the one hand my sister told us the day she found out but it still feels sooooo early! I'm only 4 weeks tomorrow. Would love to hear some experiences/thoughts.

I told my mum and In laws at 6 months. I hate being the centre of attention and found all the questions about how I was doing intrusive and annoying.

I told my mum and sister at about 6 weeks. We are very close though and keeping it a secret for the first 2/3 weeks was very hard. I’m now almost 9 weeks and only my mum, sister, boss and Pilates teacher know.

My mum and in laws approx 40 seconds after I found out

Mum and in-laws 12 weeks. Waited until after 20 week scan to tell siblings etc.

mid experienced losses after 12 weeks previously and don’t like having to explain to people what’s happened so only told people who is want to know at the time if something went wrong again

You need to do what’s right for you.

even if you miscarry- which hopefully you won’t, but if- you may well want their support and sensitivity afterwards (“why don’t you want to go cousin Janet’s baby shower?!”). I think telling your support network early is best in case of this.

I told my mum at 4 weeks, same as my losses and chemical pregnancies. It really doesn’t jinx anything. There is no need for a 12 week silence if you want their support. Also saves fucking around with fake ear infections or saying you are detoxing from booze.

My mum and sister immediately - and I'm
pleased I did.

I also told my gran, which I regret as she’s become intrusive.

It wouldn’t have been my preference to tell the in laws, but if I’ve told my mum then it’s only fair! And before you know it, they’ve all told everyone, and the cat is completely out the bag now and I’m only 8 weeks along! 😩

Immediate family after our 12 week scan (at 12+6). More distant family (aunties etc) at 16 weeks, after I'd heard the heartbeat at my first midwife appointment. My husband's more distant family after the 20 week scan.

I started showing really early, had a little bump around 10 weeks so we told close family and my work then, we never really told anyone else just left them to figure it out themselves.

Told my mum before DP 🙈. Called her panicking as I saw the BFP developing lol. In laws same day. Work at 6 weeks, kind of by accident as I had a bleed and was hysterical (all was okay). They've been understanding and really nice to me

Well after the 20 week scan.
My sister told the family when she found out. Do what's right for you but once you tell people news travels.
I also don't think fairness comes into it, if one person or family has got a big mouth or won't be supportive then don't feel obliged to tell them.

I'm not sure if I'd have wanted to tell my family about a miscarriage so preferred not to tell them too early, though I appreciate that things can go wrong at any stage I preferred to wait until it was less likely.

I didn't tell anyone (except two work colleagues who needed to know so I could be excused potentially dangerous tasks) until twelve weeks, but then I knew that if anything went wrong I'd prefer to deal with it privately with just DH. It's a very individual choice and there's no right answer.

Told my mum within three days, was too excited and if something had happened I would have needed her support either way

friends and siblings before 12 weeks it was Christmas and there was no way I could have pretended to be off alcohol at Christmas so told them 🤣🤣🤣

boss I told earlier too as I worked retail and had to lift heavy items so had to tell them so they could understand why I was no longer doing that. Thankfully so understanding

in laws at 12 weeks that was my partner’s decision as his ex miscarried at 14 weeks so he was nervous

Told my mum after l had got over the shock myself! So would have been about 8/9 weeks then rest of family at about 11 weeks

We told our close friends and a couple of family members at about 6 weeks. Others got told at some point after 12 weeks.

Congratulations!

There's no right or wrong. My first pregnancy I told people at 12 weeks but our baby died in the second trimester. So my second pregnancy I didn't tell anyone until after the 20 week scan and even then I waited to tell as many people as possible until the viability milestone.

We told both family and friends after the 12 week scan.

The day I found out, both times.

20 weeks

We told my in laws just after we found out! We’re very close to them, also helped as we had a family bbq the next day and my mother in law gave me lemonade in a gin glass so no one would know!! Also told my best friend!

Waiting to tell others until 12 week scan I think but that might change!
I think there’s no rules now, just whatever you feel comfortable with! 😊

First pregnancy i told my parents and in laws straight away, but then miscarried a few weeks later, so 2nd pregnancy we told no one apart from my boss(as needed time off for early scan). Then we told parents and in laws on day of 12 week scan , then told friends etc few days later. Do whatever feels best for you.

I would only tell family and friends before the 12 week scan if you definitely know they will be supportive of you telling them early and if you had a miscarriage (hopefully that won’t happen). We told my MiL the day after our positive and we got lots of negativity about telling so early and then when I had a miscarriage shortly after we got told to not tell them early next time as they were disappointed. There was some sympathy (but not much and no checking that my partner was ok) but it made me feel awful and has left me in my current pregnancy with this feeling of anxiety about disappointing people if it goes wrong. She was happy this time round when we told her after the 12 week scan but got a comment from FiL asking if it was far along enough to mean a miscarriage is less likely.

On the other hand I told my sister early both times and she was was excited and supportive at the right times.

Several pregnancies. Earliest I told was 6 weeks. Latest I told was 24 weeks. Personal preference even from pregnancy to pregnancy with me.

I really didn’t enjoy all the questions or attention at all, it was incredibly intrusive especially with losses.

There was an occasion when both families were going to be together when 8wks so told them then. Had private scan a few days before as wanted to know there was a heartbeat before sharing.

With first two around 8 week. Third about 12 week.