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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone given birth alone?

18 replies

Geordiebabe85 · 05/05/2022 13:20

Hi
LO is due in July. I have a 20 month old. For various reasons we're struggling to find someone who both me and OH feel comfortable leaving our LG with while I give birth.
I'm also struggling to find an alternative to OH to be with me - family have holidays booked and my friends all have young children or are pregnant themselves.
Has anyone else been in this situation and just gone it alone? Or done it alone for other reasons?
How was it?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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MrsCtobe91 · 05/05/2022 13:44

Hey @Geordiebabe85, i did twice, but not by choice. The first time was due to the fact that it was early hours and her dad didn't make it in time (he was sent home by hospital two hours earlier) and the second was because established labour progressed quickly so my sister missed it. Neither times were bad and in my honest opinion were quite relaxing only having myself and the midwife in the room, it was much easier to focus and more peaceful. Hope this helps 🙂. Xx

OuchLegoHurtsMyFeet · 05/05/2022 14:15

Would a home birth be a good option for you to consider? Depends on if you are low risk or not, but this is why I had a home birth. Kids were fast asleep upstairs and came down to a new brother. Was great.

Original poster

Geordiebabe85 · 05/05/2022 15:11

That makes me feel better, thanks.

OP posts:

Original poster

Geordiebabe85 · 05/05/2022 15:12

Thanks, unfortunately I'm high risk 😔

OP posts:

XrayFish · 05/05/2022 16:33

It might help to work out why you want someone with you. Do you actively want your partner there or have you just accepted that it's what everyone does. Because I think that will determine how you find it?

Personally I never wanted a birth partner so I didn't, and luckily no-one pushed me on it. It was absolutely fine, but I'm not you.I

What's your plan for getting to the hospital?

MarJau26 · 05/05/2022 17:43

Hi Op, does your dd attend a nursery or any other baby groups? You could ask the organiser if they could recommend a good babysitter and get your LO used to them from now?

Original poster

Geordiebabe85 · 05/05/2022 19:17

That is a good point! I think it's just me thinking I'm expected to have someone there. To be honest OH was pretty useless last time!

OP posts:

Original poster

Geordiebabe85 · 05/05/2022 19:17

Yes she's at nursery. I'll ask! Offer her key worker overtime!

OP posts:

IDontDrinkTea · 05/05/2022 19:19

I did and it was fine. In all honesty it wasn’t really any different to the time I did have DH there.

Marty13 · 05/05/2022 19:21

Hey OP, I'm a single parent so I was on my own both times and it was totally fine. I'd have hated anyone I know to see me while giving birth, naked and in pain, thanks but no thanks.

headstone · 05/05/2022 19:21

I did , it was during covid and he was not allowed in but labour progressed very quickly and missed it. It wasn’t a particularly nice birth but the midwife was great. My husband is quite squeamish so maybe it was for the best anyway.

ElDormato · 05/05/2022 19:25

I did during covid (the early days, when everything was uncertain and panicky!), and honestly I loved it more than when I had people there. Midwives seemed more attentive, presumably because they knew there was nobody there to alert them to anything if I was left alone for hours like during previous births, and I felt no pressure to talk to my lovely husband who kept very kindly asking in I needed anything....(!).

If I had another, I'd chose to go in alone again I think. And the childcare thing is simplified, not needing to call on people at whatever hour of day or night.

kateward11 · 05/05/2022 19:45

I did as a single parent and I’d have no hesitation to do it that way again. The midwife was wonderful as. Was with me most of the time. I could have taken my mum in with me (she did drive me there), but I’d have ended up on focusing on her being comfortable instead of actually giving birth 😂 Good luck x

mcplant · 05/05/2022 20:00

I was in a similar position to you in terms of someone being able to care for DD1 if I went into spontaneous labour. My first labour was long as well so it would be a big ask for someone as well so all being considered I opted for a c section so DH could be there for a few hours then go home to DD1.

It worked well & I also had a horrible birth with DD1 so was happy to have a section as an alternative.

Biscuitsneeded · 05/05/2022 20:07

Me, by accident because DP didn't get there in time. Plan was that I went ahead by taxi to hospital at 6am and DP joined me there just after 8am after dropping DS1 at nursery, But DS2 came too quickly. To be honest it was great. I felt much more looked after by the maternity staff because I was on my own, and it was a bit easier not having to think about DP as well and knowing DS was safe with him. I'd recommend it.

Cakecakecheese · 05/05/2022 21:52

Look into hiring a doula?

Lilbunnyfufu · 06/05/2022 19:51

My first pregnancy I was alone my sister didn't make it on time my labour was way to fast 10 minutes in the hospital. She saw the placenta get delivered.
My 2nd DH was dropping our first to the child minder and he missed the birth by 5 minutes. He saw the placenta get delivered. Again the labour was very fast 30 minutes in hospital.
My 3rd pregnancy I had my sister with me and she drove me crazy.
4th I plan to birth alone.

DH would love to be at the 4th birth but he needs to stay home with the other 3.

thewindbeneathmywings · 06/05/2022 21:02

My first came early and I was alone at home until the first responder arrived.

With my second we had no one to care for 3 year old so the plan was for DP to drop me at the hospital and I go alone. Second baby also came early and DP had to deliver him again at home!

I'm due again in 4 weeks. Still no childcare really so if DP is at work and kids at school I'll get a neighbour to take me to hospital if labour starts and just go in alone.

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