Anyone pregnant after third trimester loss?

[Bubbles021]

I know there are probably hundreds of threads on this, but I'm worried about getting lost in them.
I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby following the loss of my son at 33 weeks last year. He was my first baby, and it sadly ended in TFMR after discovering at 27 weeks he was having recurrent strokes that sadly caused complete brain damage, meaning he would not be able to walk, talk, move or feed independently and would have passed away within a few months of life 💔

I found out I was pregnant again in December (a year to the day that I found out I was expecting my son!) but whilst I was 8 weeks pregnant, genetic testing results showed that I actually have a genetic condition (I was completely unaware of) that had caused my son's issues, so we had to wait until 12 weeks for a CVS for this baby who luckily does not have the gene, and we found out we're having a little girl ❤️

On the whole I've been surprised at how calm myself and my husband been this pregnancy, given all of the trauma we experienced last time. However, as I approach the 27 week point of this pregnancy my anxiety is increasing hugely. It probably doesn't help that this pregnancy follows the same timeline, so when I am 27 weeks it will be a year since I was 27 weeks with my son and receiving the bad news. We also have big dates such as the day he passed away, his first birthday and his funeral date coming up which I think are adding to my anxiety.

This time the baby's brain is being checked regularly at extra scans, and although I know she doesn't have the gene, my irrational mind is just waiting to be given bad news. We have a growth scan at 28 weeks (no worries about her growth, it's just an extra scan of her brain really), and I am absolutely terrified.

I just wondered how others who have had a late loss (or any loss at all really) have navigated through these complex emotions?
We have a c-section date booked which is giving me a focus to get to the end of the pregnancy, but I keep worrying how I will make it through the next 14 weeks.
Thank you for your help 💖

I am so sorry you went through this. It sounds terrible, I can't even imagine it. I don't have your experiences (although I do have experience with other fertility related issues and I know how heartbreaking, stressful and hopeless it can all feel) but I didn't want to read and run. Hand hold and my best wishes for a great remainder of your pregnancy. What I used to say during my troubles is: different pregnancy, different baby, different result. Because something happened before, it doesn't mean it will happen again. I hope somebody comes along soon who can help you more. And big congratulations on your new pregnancy 🎉

@imeanwhy thank you for such lovely words of encouragement, I really do appreciate it 😊

You've been through hell. I've seen your posts on other threads and wondered if you're ok.

I've not been through anything that bears comparison to what you have but I'm due a baby at a similar time to you after infertility and an early loss and I have horrible anxiety too. Free to chat

Every scan feels like "den" in a game of tag doesn't it?

Hi Op. I'm so sorry for your loss. I was 23 weeks when I had a TFMR. My baby boy had a severe genetic mutation. We found out at my 20 week scan but the doctors ran a whole host of tests before we could confirm the condition. I wasn't as far as you, but I feel your pain. We had 2 losses after that and now am pregnant 9 weeks after IVF. I am so anxious, I understand your anxiety. You seem to be in good hands with your doctors.

@theotherfossilsister I'm so sorry for your struggles during pregnancy 💔 you're completely right, that is exactly how scans feel. The time after a scan is my favourite because I feel so free of worry for all of about 2 days! I just wish that feeling stuck a bit longer. Good luck in your pregnancy!

@MarJau26 I'm so sorry about your losses also 💔 I think it's such hard when you come to realise there are no 'safe points' of pregnancy like you are always told. I really hope all goes well for you this time!

Ive just found out i was pregnant, after losing my son at 31 weeks in November. They still havent found a cause (bloods have been sent to Sheffield in a last attempt of finding a cause, might not come back until September).

He had significant issues from the 12 week scan, NT of 9.9. He had every test going. I had a cvs, he had heart scans, brain scans, frequent scans. No known cause. In all honesty, i think it was down to the astra zenica vaccine. I had it 1 week before finding out i was pregnant, and i just dont understand how with such significant problems theres no cause. He seemed to improve, bht then developed massive hydrops and his body couldnt take the strain.

Im terrified about being pregnant now.