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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Disappointing reaction from Mum

8 replies

Baby1222 · 03/05/2022 10:11

There is no point to this post really other than needing to vent and this seems like a safe space to do so!
I am early pregnant and have known for a few weeks but wanted to keep it a secret from most people until 12weeks but decided to tell my mum and sister once I had an early scan.
Background - been with my partner for 9 years and have a 2yo, stable jobs, own our own home etc.
I had my scan at the weekend and went straight to tell my mum & sis. I told sis first as she lives over an hour from me but right by where I got my scan and I knew I wouldnt see her for maybe a month if I didn't go straight there. She was so so excited for us :) went on to my mums and told her..she just said she was expecting this and if we were going to have another then it was kinda the time and commented on how December (when I'm due) isn't a great time for a birthday then she went back to cleaning up! She didn't say anything at all to my partner..just ignored that he was even there!! She told me she's annoyed I kept it from her initially even tho I did the exact same with my first and is annoyed my sister found out first!!
I text her this morning saying it was unfair how she reacted and that she didn't even speak to my partner who does so much for my mum and she loves him so there are no issues there! She came back and said 'if thats what you think' and hasn't said anything else!
I know its a silly thing to be annoyed about but I was so excited and couldn't wait to be able to tell her everything and now i just feel so upset and annoyed 😔

OP posts:
Snowflakes1122 · 03/05/2022 11:28

Sorry she reacted this way. You did the right thing by confronting her behaviour.

Only she knows why she reacted this way, but she needed to know it was hurtful.

Congratulations by the way. I have two December babies (now expecting 3rd Dec baby), and it’s a lovely time of year for a baby to be born.

Regenbogen22 · 03/05/2022 11:32

I wouldn't text or call her again for a bit. Let her stew over her response and what you said. Maybe it'll hit her that it obviously hurt you.
Congratulations! December babies are born into such an exciting month!!!

FieldOverFence · 03/05/2022 11:43

My mum didn't react great when we announced we were expecting our second, very much "yep we were expecting that"
My second kid is the absolute apple of her eye, and she has been the bext nan possible to him & his sister

The reaction isn't a big deal in the overall scheme of things

Original poster
Baby1222 · 03/05/2022 11:50

Thanks for all of your responses! I know its silly to be annoyed by her reaction but I was just so excited and it just seemed unfair to bring it all down.
Its now been turned around that I have made her feel awful for saying this and how could I do this to her and be so hard on her 😔 I know she has mental health struggles but it seems like every time I get good news this happens like I shouldn't be allowed to be happy or to take the spotlight from her!
I do so so much for her and take on all of her issues and basically carry our whole family most of the time (my brother and sister acknowledge and are grateful for this but mum does not) it just gets tough especially at times like this!

OP posts:
Original poster
Baby1222 · 03/05/2022 11:51

Should have added that im excited for my wee December baby 🥰 and seeing the scan and heartbeat was amazing 😁😁

OP posts:
CrotchetyQuaver · 03/05/2022 11:55

It's rubbish isn't it. My mum gave me what amounted to a massive bollocking when I told her I was pregnant again and I still remember it and get angry when I think about it 27 years on. It was horrible. Still married to the same husband, the child is absolutely wonderful. Yet another thing I'll make damn sure I don't do when my DDs announce their pregnancies to me.

Mossstitch · 03/05/2022 12:01

When I announced third pregnancy MIL said 'oh, you don't want another do you?'........... 🤦 Didn't tell her I actually wanted four😂💐

cruisebaba1 · 28/01/2023 16:27

Baby1222 · 03/05/2022 11:50

Thanks for all of your responses! I know its silly to be annoyed by her reaction but I was just so excited and it just seemed unfair to bring it all down.
Its now been turned around that I have made her feel awful for saying this and how could I do this to her and be so hard on her 😔 I know she has mental health struggles but it seems like every time I get good news this happens like I shouldn't be allowed to be happy or to take the spotlight from her!
I do so so much for her and take on all of her issues and basically carry our whole family most of the time (my brother and sister acknowledge and are grateful for this but mum does not) it just gets tough especially at times like this!

Your mum sounds narcissistic to me. This is a classic situation where the spotlight isn’t on her. Just concentrate on your own happiness and leave your mum to her own thoughts. She will soon realise that she’s missing out! Been there, and for now go low contact. Congratulations

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