Having ongoing anxiety

[Pregnantpolly]

I'm really scared about everything pregnancy related at the moment and feel consumed. I'm 15 weeks but petrified in case baby has died etc. I just can't enjoy pregnancy. I have no symptoms today and no bump. I currently have covid and just feel crap. I really need to come off social media.
I also live in a place where they don't do any tests so the scan is all I can base things on without paying £235+ and I've passed some of those dates. Also don't want to spend mega dosh on lots of scans.
I don't know how people can be so sure that they're not having a mmc. I don't understand the ones who tell everyone and buy everything. I don't want anything on my record about anxiety. I'm not at risk to myself, I would never harm myself.

I'm just catastrophising everything. I need to come over social media and Google and even here.

It's horrible op. I've been like that all the way through. Currently twenty three weeks and began perinatal counselling recently. Do you have a midwife? Any support?

It's so tough getting through a pregnancy when you feel like this. I was exactly the same after two pregnancy losses before my son was born last year. Are you in the UK? You can self refer for CBT counselling. I had about six sessions and although it didn't cure me, it did take the edge off. You can self refer here: www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/

The thing that helped me was trying to logically think through my anxiety. Did I have any evidence for my current worry? If the answer was no then I tried to reason my way out of it. It's not a cure but it's just about taking it day by day.

Talk to your midwife about it. Hopefully they'll be reassuring and help you through your worries. For example, I was worried I had gestational diabetes because my friend did and had no symptoms. My midwife was able to reassure me that all my obs like urine test etc. showed I was fine.

Also, although I didn't get "less" anxious as my pregnancy progressed, the anxiety did change. With regards to the missed miscarriage worry, when you can feel movement then you know they're still alive in there, so that helps. Although then (I'm not going to lie) I did get hung up on him moving enough and went in a few times to be checked out.

For what it's worth, as soon as my son was born, all the anxiety disappeared. But I am already getting anxious about trying for number two. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

I can completely relate to this OP. I’m 22 weeks and at points I’ve been so incredibly anxious - in floods of tears as I don’t feel pregnant anymore, am worried about a medical issue, or have hardly felt any flutters all day.
The previous comment is absolutely right about challenging your feelings with evidence.
Another thing I found helpful (another CBT technique) has been to close my eyes and play out the worst case scenario in my head - it sounds scary but try to imagine how it would go and how you would react if your fears were confirmed? What would you do afterwards? How would you move forward?
I found it surprisingly calming to accept that my worse fears could happen, but that I could envision myself getting past the initial grieving stage and moving forward. It would be awful but I could see a path to still having a happy life afterwards.
If things get too overwhelming then definitely get some help.