advice on unplanned pregnancy feeling

[mummmmy14]

so I currently have 2 sons aged 3 and 1 and have recently found out I am pregnant with number 3!

we actively tried to conceive for around 11m each with both my boys and obviously was over the moon when we finally found out we were pregnant!

this time around it wasn't planned and it was quite a surprise.. at first I was in shock but knew instantly that we were going to go through with the pregnancy (we have always said we wanted 3 but wasn't planning to have the 3rd for another year or 2)

anyway I have very mixed emotions this time around and I feel guilty for feeling this way.. I don't know if this is normal because it wasn't planned or not (hoping it is) had my first mw appt yesterday and they think I'm 15w but have requested an urgent scan to check as if I'm over 14w I can't have the testing that they do in the first trimester..

I keep having waves of excitement and also waves of fear, can someone who has ended up in a situation with an unplanned pregnancy please let me know how you felt when you found out, thank you In advance.

What you are feeling is completely normal - you just haven’t had time to get your head round it yet.
My pregnancy was planned and I’m still very up and down - some days I’m so desperate for the baby to be here, other days I think ‘what have I done?!’ And I feel guilty for that, but at the same time I know it’s normal.
For me, it’s having gone through 2 decades of adult life being child free, and 12 years with it just being me and DH. It makes it hard to get my head round it.
For you, it’s probably because the last two were planned and this one was a surprise, so inevitably it feels different.
I’m sure you’ll relax into it as the days go by.
Congratulations

I was in a similar boat - tried for nearly a year for DD and then completely unexpectedly fell pregnant with DS when DD was a year old and we weren’t trying.

I think the main thing here is my 2nd (and your 3rd) were always planned in the longer term, so it’s more the unexpectedness of the timing than the idea of an additional child? I’m such a planner and the idea of 2 under 2 completely freaked me out but I just kept reminding myself that we’d always wanted two, that it was just a bit sooner than planned. And given the choice between an unexpected pregnancy and trying for ages and never getting this DC, I’d have picked the surprise pregnancy every single time.

Be kind to yourself, it takes time to get your head around! And finding out late will add another level of head fuckery to it. But if it helps at all, I’m now 37 weeks and just cannot WAIT to meet him - I almost can’t believe how terrified I was just 9 months ago.