Missed Miscarriage/Time off Work?

[chocolateaddict231]

Hi ladies,

I hope you are all doing ok. I posted here a couple weeks ago as I was so unwell with hypermesis gravidarium (severe morning sickness) but now unfortuantly it seems as though I'm having a missed miscarriage. I was told last Friday that things are not looking good for a few reasons but I need to wait until this Friday to make a plan like arranging a D&C.

I'm still so sick and I'm on lots of medication/IV's for hydration too but I'm wondering what to tell work. I only started a new job recently and I'm wondering how long do people usually take off for a D&C/miscarriage? I'm already struggling in work telling people I have 'stomach problems' to hide the sickness now

I'm so sorry. I didn't take any time off after my MMC because I work at home and wanted the distraction. You should take as much as you need, you need to look after yourself.

@chocolateaddict231 sorry you're going through this OP. I had a very similar situation last year, I was honest with my boss and told her what had happened, I also told her she could tell the team. I always think if people don't know what's happened they can't be sensitive towards your feelings. I took about 3 weeks off, physically i was fine but hormonally I was on a massive come down.

I took 2 weeks off. That felt right, I was 13 weeks and had a (small) bump and had 2 earlier scans so it was a huge shock.

I think the same thing may be happening again at the moment, I'm not sure what approach I'll take this time.

Be kind to yourself and do what feels right.

I hope you’re as ok as you can be, OP. Take as much time as you need - doctors offered to sign me off for 4 weeks initially when I had a MMC. I had 3 in total, though I’m a teacher and 1 week fell in half term so 2 really. Physically it doesn’t take long to recover but mentally can be a different story. Look after yourself x

Hi Op,
So sorry you're having to go through this.
I was also very sick, I had a scan at 8 weeks and all looked great. I had no clue that anything was wrong until my 12 week scan when we saw the foetus had passed away at 10w 4 days. MMC.
Because of the size of the gestational sac I had to have the D&C (they actually use suction,not curette) under General Anaesthetic.

I recovered really well from the op, which was almost 3 weeks ago. Physically I have felt fine, but emotionally I'd say it's taken until yesterday for me to feel ok.

I'm only just started to stop bleeding now, and yesterday finally tested negative on a pregnancy test which is why I think I'm feeling better now.

Please take time off to allow yourself to go through the process. Here if you have any questions. X

*almost 2 weeks ago sorry.

When I had my MMC I had about two months off of work In total, I worked with autistic adults at the time who were incredibly violent and I didn’t have the strength to deal with it at the time, my MMC seemed to last forever though took the medication route and it took almost two weeks for the remainder of what was left to come out. I hope you’re doing ok I know it’s the worst feeling ever but it does get better with time xx

I'm so sorry. If you're signed off work by your doctor and it's pregnancy related, then work can't discriminate against you for however long you take off. Only you know how long is right - for some it's going straight back to keep them busy and others will longer to recover and heal. Tommy's have a good summary www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/miscarriage-information-and-support/going-back-work-after-miscarriage

I’m so sorry about your miscarriage. It’s totally up to you, I had 3 missed MCs and didn’t take any time but I loved my job and didn’t want to sit at home wallowing. Work was the place where nobody knew so I could pretend everything was normal.

Looking back I probably should have taken some time after the first. It’s a very personal thing so to echo what PPs have said, only you know what you need but if you do feel you need time off then take it, the doctor will have no problem signing you off.

So sorry you are going through this OP My GP signs people off for a minimum of 2 weeks as standard so I had 2 weeks and felt ready to go back after that time but do what feels right.

Hi ladies, just wanted to say thank you for your replies. I am the manager of the place I work but I have a boss who works in a head office three hours away so I don't exactly work with them day to day so it's a little tricky to navigate. I have simply told my employees I'm having stomach problems as everyone can see I'm pale and not myself but unsure how to tell my boss in head office

For me, it was important to acknowledge my loss, so I was quite open with my boss and my team about what had happened.