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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnancy/gender reveal

2 replies

iamwhoiammm · 25/04/2022 21:17

Just want opinions really.

So back story Is this is Baby #4, we have 2 children who are really poorly and one little boy who is fine.
Me and my husband sat down and have had long serious discussions over this time and time again and We decided now would be our best chance to have another baby if we ever was because in a few years it wouldn't be possible physically and mentally to cope with another as it sadly won't get any better and we always wanted another before we got the diagnosis we did
Our kids have the world they really do we make sure we do everything we can to make the best memories for them and to give them these times and smiles, financially we have no issues but main point here is we get no help and support- we also don't ask for it or expect it because their are kids and we give them the best care even when some days it kills us so we honestly don't pass anything on to anyone.

These past few months have been hell- we got a positive pregnancy test and my heart sank, the thought of having to go through numerous tests to then be told the baby has the same fate as our oldest 2 then we have to have a termination. We rang to book the tests and the counsellor said congratulations to me - I said to her please don't until we have the result because right now this isn't a congratulations moment sorry. I was so down. My husband was and he felt even worse because it was me going through it, the body changes, the tests etc

But the day came. We got the result and honestly I cried for the whole day as did my husband ! The pain was worth it and the baby is fine and has no trace so this is super rare? I feel like it is ment to be and I really want to supprise friends and family with the news but I know they won't be happy and will just say we have enough on our plate.

Iv arranged a party and I'm going to do a gender/ baby reveal as I am pretty far gone and it's getting abit to noticeable and we've not told a sole haha I'm now getting them strange looks of are you fat or pregnant""
I'm just nervous as my mum said the other day "you best not be pregnant " I just don't want their reactions to be down when we're on such a high. Yes it'll be harder then it would be for a normal family but this is our family and we have to make the best of our bad situation?

So do I do a surprise reveal to everyone and hope they have the joy like us or just tell them via a text as I'm scared of their opinions/ reactions (mainly our parents) and not do anything to celebrate ?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Nelliephant1 · 25/04/2022 21:27

Honestly, I'd probably tell them by text first and gauge the reaction then do a reveal if you want to.

My mother didn't speak to me for the entirety of my third pregnancy, purely because she didn't think that we should be having a third baby. I know the pain and fear that that brought me and the effect it had on me. I used to wonder if she'd prefer I had a termination or a miscarriage than a live baby. It really messed with my head and I became fiercely protective of my pregnancy and baby as in my mind, she wished he didn't exist.

This is obviously just my experience and your mother is (hopefully) very different to mine, but don't do anything that you feel might upset you or take the shine off what is a wonderful time for you.

Wishing you all the blessings in the world for your family.

iamwhoiammm · 25/04/2022 22:05

Thank you, sorry to hear your mum was like that with you!
Think Iv built myself up to think they've no right to be disappointed or be able to judge us when they don't do anything for us anyway!
But il give them a heads up I think! X

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