Hoping for support & reassurance

[Mamax5]

I’m so ashamed that I am even typing this. I am 21 weeks pregnant and I’ve drank every day. I have been a functioning alcoholic for years & come from a long line of alcoholics. I came off anti depressants last year and have fell into a deep depression & have constant anxiety. Though I haven’t been drunk, I have drank throughout this pregnancy. I’ve been in denial & have kept it a secret. I’ve started therapy & I am finally ready to combat my depression and alcoholism. I’ve been receiving regular prenatal care, all the tests & scans have come back perfect regarding the baby. No issues have been detected at all. I came clean to my husband yesterday and he’s very upset, understandably. He was reading all the articles that say even one drink can harm an unborn baby and he’s extremely concerned about what damage I have done to the baby.

Because all the tests and scans have been described as perfect & beautiful by the medical
Professionals, I’m hoping this means that my baby is and will be healthy and “normal.”

Has anyone experienced this? I was hoping to ease my heart and mind about the baby so I can finally focus on being healthy and the mom I know I can be. Please don’t judge me though I know I deserve it. Any support, encouragement is much appreciated. Please tell me there’s women out there that have been in my shoes & their babies were healthy.

Thank you.
-guilty & ashamed mama

I’ve no experience of this but well done for telling your husband, that’s a great first step. Please tell your midwife as soon as possible so she can arrange support for you, alongside the therapy you’re already getting. You can’t change what’s already happened but you can absolutely change the future for you and your child. Wishing you the very best xxx

I don't have any experience in this either but I too am glad you have opened up to your husband and hopefully get the support you clearly need.

Im sure your aware that drinking can cause fetal alcohol syndrome, but I don't think that can really be picked up from a scan, in severe cases it can be diagnosed at birth but normally it can be anywhere from 8 months to 8 years apparently.

Hopefully that isn't the case though and you do go on to have a healthy baby

Hi Op, just read your post. Just wanted to say well done to admitting to yourself you have a problem and talking to your husband. I hope you have some lovely friends in real life you support you. Stay strong OP and congratulations on your wee little one. Xx

The first step is admitting the problem so well done. Unfortunately some of the impacts of alcohol use in pregnancy won't be seen on a scan so you just won't know until baby is here and as they get older (development delay tends to become more obvious when children are due to start school). Definitely speak to your midwife and seek their support x

You're really brave admitting this to yourself, on here and seeking help. What you're doing is amazing.