Going to preface this by saying I already am under the perinatal mental health team and a clinical psychiatrist, but due to miscarriage and stillbirth anxiety (not general). I am currently in my third trimester of pregnancy.
I went to meet a friend in central London to the cinema and I found it all fucking terrifying. I don’t know if it’s a hangover from covid and not really going out to live my life much, but I found the experience so scary and awful. Noises were louder. People more obnoxious. I definitely stayed away from groups of people that I wouldn’t have previously batted an eye at (big groups of lads, teenagers messing around, drunk homeless people).
I was worried that people were going to push me into the tracks of the tube, worried about losing my keys or being mugged. It was just vile.
I have never felt like this before- usually being the opposite of risk averse. Falling asleep on the night bus, or heading out with a dead phone.
I now feel terrified about going to meet my friends for brunch on the south bank tomorrow. I’m worried that my dog is going to get stolen, or I’m going to trip and fall on the escalators at Waterloo.
I am definitely going to speak to my midwife and the mental health team and I’m not trying to normalise this- but did anyone else go through this when they were in their final stages of pregnancy? I don’t know if this is a biological, protective urge to drive me into nest mode or I’m spiralling.
I just wanted to get this down really, and vent. These feelings are so alien to me.