I had an abortion almost 10 years ago and I'm suddenly really struggling. I was in my 20s at the time but now that I'm in my 30s, everyone around me seems to be having kids and I'm trying so hard to be happy for them but it's killing me.
I didn't want to have the abortion at the time but circumstances dictated that it was the right thing to do. I always thought I'd find someone and get pregnant again. That hasn't happened and it's killing me. I also now, for some reason after almost a decade, can't get out of my head what I did to my baby. I feel like I'm going crazy and I literally have to keep myself distracted all of the time to stop thinking about it because the overwhelming sadness is too much. I hate myself for making the decision I did.
Can anyone relate or am I just crazy?