Safe to have a baby at 40 years of age?

[mumznet]

I already have 2 kids, but the discussion about the 3rd one is still on the mind. We could have one or also decide not to have one. I seem to think at 40 it's best not to have another one. due to more risks of complications. But then I know ladies have pregnancy after 40 and they have been fine.

For those ladies who only have 2 kids, did you later wish you had more but then it was too late to have more? Thanks

I'm 39 and 18 weeks pregnant. I'll be 40 when our baby is born. Everything is kicking good so far.

Lots of women are having babies in their late 30s and early 40s for many reasons and the vast majority of those mums and their babies are healthy.

Looking, not kicking!

Yes, go for it!l I had my last at 41. Healthy pregnancy and very healthy baby. Good luck!

The risk of twins increases quite significantly as you get older, and the risk of chromosomal syndromes increases so if this is a concern for you then that might factor into your decisions. But beyond that my understanding is that having your first baby over 40 is considered higher risk but if you have safely gestated and birthed before and after able to conceive naturally then go for it.

I'm currently cuddling my sleeping 9w old baby. We're all doing very well (despite having Covid!) I'm a FTM at 40 (conceived at 39). Pregnancy was a relative breeze.
My main concern was risk of trisomies and I was really anxious after the 12 week blood test but my results came back as 1:10,000 for all three syndromes and I didn't even need the NIPT. If I was to have another baby, I'd do the NIPT in advance as I'd be a bit older anyway and this would help with the anxiety.

Birth was not so breezy and ended with an EMCS under GA but I was induced too early (at term) and he just needed to cook a bit longer! You've done it before too so you're at a huge advantage!

My advice.... if age is your only risk factor, listen to your body when it comes to potential induction. I wish I had!

Go for it! Xx

I'm 39 and 16 weeks pregnant. This is my second pregnancy, and a surprise after struggling to conceive due to pcos, endometriosis and my husband had sperm issues. My first born was born 21 years ago. All OK so far, nipt low risk for everything 1 in 10000 (I had this before the combined test. Combined test showed a 1 in 7000 chance of downs but 1 in 10000 for Edwards and Patau).

There is no dichotomy of "safe" or "not safe" for anything in life. Nothing is 100% safe but you weigh up the risks.

The risks are higher of complications over 40. The risks are still relatively low. There will be plenty of stories of 40 yesr old mums who were fine and some who were not. You have to decide for yourself basically

I had my second at 40 and he was text book baby. My obstetrician said I was younger as she has mums of 45+
It wouldn't stop me but do ensure you take medical advice through pregnancy as can be more risky

I know loads of women having babies in their 40s and so far no horror stories.

It's pretty common these days to have a baby in your 40s!

The risks are greater, but that doesn't mean it isn't safe - for me the main issue after two kids was just not wanting to go into having to pay for nursery and the whole tiny baby thing! I too know lots of women who've had kids post 40 no problems.

I had DC4 when I was 41. Pregnancy was a bit harder than previous pregnancies, maybe because of age but also maybe because my body was a bit knackered from previous pregnancies and I was running around after DC1, DC2 and DC3 while pregnant.

My biggest concern with being an older mum is affording teenage/young adult stuff when we are approaching retirement. I am very aware that my oldest DC will be wanting school trips/driving lessons/more expensive clothes/university help etc over the next 10 years and I know I need to have an eye on whether I will be able to afford whatever I agree to for DC 4 in 10 years too! That's hard work for my brain.

I was pregnant with DC2 at 39 and had him at 40. I had no pre-existing health conditions and had a text book pregnancy and birth.

I occasionally fantasise about DC3 but I think my ovaries may want a last hurrah before menopause as I’ve always been adamant that I only wanted 2 DC. I don’t think our finances would take the strain of another DC anyway!

thank you everyone, and well done to the everyone who has been through this :-). It's defintely something to think about, I didn't even think about retirement and kid being a teenager then :-). I just don't want to wish that I had another one after a few years, If I do want one then I think I need to get on with it quickly. I've had 2 text book pregnancies before.

@Carebear99 best wishes with everything

@Squiff70 all the best with the pregnancy

@LimpetEmz hi congrats on your baby
May I ask about the induction at term ?
I'm being induced when the time comes possibly around 38-39 wks so was just curious x

Absolutely your choice...but I would bear in mind that whilst you might feel not much difference at 40 to 30....youbwill be dealing with teenager when you are in your mid 50s...not sure I could have done that....my last was at 32 ....and I found it much harder than the first 2 I had in my 20s.... that said, i was a Granny at 50 ....and I even find that exhausting when I have all 3 GDs

The risks are there
All could be "perfect"
Or anything from very bad outcome to some minor health issue. But doesn't mean not worthwhile.
If you take the risk
Be open

I read a study that said older mothers' bodies are better at miscarrying chromosomally-unhealthy foetuses. So the actual risk of birthing a poorly baby is less than you think. I had my first at 39 and currently 18 weeks pregnant with my fourth at 45. All going well so far

I had my 4th at 45yrs old, pregnancy was straightforward apart from SPD and having to inject myself from 28 weeks. I am pregnant again as it happens, 5 weeks so here is to baby number 5 at 46. You will be fine, risks will always be there.

What would happen to your life, and the lives of your existing children, if you were to have a severely disabled child? Could you cope with the stress? Could you take the financial hit of possibly never being able to work again? Imagine how it would effect your kids.

Sorry, but I would be grateful for the two I have and stop there at your age.

It is very easy to find out the actual risks associated with being an older mum if that's what you're worried about - although the risks are higher than they would be at a younger age, they are still very low relatively speaking, and you can find them with a quick google.

We are very frequently told that it's more dangerous to be an older mum, but those dangers are over-reported. Don't make any decisions based on assumptions about risk.

thank you everyone, it's defintely somthing to think about before having more kids. also it's not just my decision, it can sometimes the partner doesn't want any more. perhaps the mums who had all their kids at a younger age have done well. it looks like I am going in the direction of not having any more, since my partner has said he is fine with just the two. so I don't want to have to do all the parenting on my own. although I still have that nagging feeling that I wanted one more, but we can't have everything in life, and maybe I have left it too late! Agree with PP who mentioned that it could be I am at retirement age and then there is a teenager to raise!!

thank you. What about adopting. if we can't have our own, is adopting a child a very difficult process? I wouldn't mind adopting. but I heard the process is too complex and sometimes you wouldn't ever get a child that way. ??