Midwife couldn't find heartbeat - stressed myself out now

[OopsImDoingItAgain]

Midwife came today (I'm nearly 17 weeks) and I said my sickness vanished a few weeks ago, I have no bump, no symptoms really not feeling pregnant at all and that I've been having slight cramps so I'm a bit worried. She said all normal for this stage and try not to panic. I asked if she'd check the heartbeat and she said she shouldn't as it can cause anxiety if they can't find it, insisted I would be fine and would be good to know all is well, she said there was a good chance as I'm very slim but unfortunately she couldn't find it. She reassured me that it's likely absolutely fine just early but did offer me a scan on Monday if I was worried, I felt guilty as she wasn't even meant to check it, my 20 week scan is in 23 days, I thought I can sit tight so I said don't worry just thank you for trying.

I've been stressed ever since! My last pregnancy I was quite unwell but I felt very pregnant throughout so I've just been feeling a bit unnerved with how well I've felt and really wish I hadn't asked her to do this now. I know I have an anterior placenta which can cause issues so I feel I've self inflicted a lot of worry on myself. I keep going to text and ask for the scan on Monday after all.. anyone had this?

Midwives in UK check heartbeat at 16 week appointment and my babies have all been found at this stage after a little hunt around. I would defo opt for the scan as you'll only worry and stress for the next 3 weeks. Good luck Z

I’ve been told at both 16 week appointments that they don’t routinely check for heartbeat that early because baby is still small enough to be floating around anywhere and it can be difficult to find. I also don’t know anyone who has been told any different.

They did used to check at 16 weeks, years ago. But guidance has changed due to the amount of anxiety it causes when not found.

Chances are everything is fine OP. I’ve had two successful pregnancies with no symptoms at all. No sickness, nothing!

@ilovemyboys3

Midwives in UK check heartbeat at 16 week appointment and my babies have all been found at this stage after a little hunt around. I would defo opt for the scan as you'll only worry and stress for the next 3 weeks. Good luck Z

It depends where you are. Midwife here and I don't routinely check at 16 weeks, used to as a student and then local guidelines changed. It is really tricky particularly if there's an anterior placenta etc

@GinnyBee because it causes problems like this! We were constantly sending people like OP for reassurance scans which were to put it bluntly, a waste of NHS time and money. The sonographers were snowed under scanning people who didn’t need scans and there weren’t enough slots left for people who actually needed them. The difference in other countries is that you pay them money for your scan!!!!

We do not listen in now until 25 weeks at my trust. If someone asked me to I’d say no, sorry. Routine auscultation in isn’t actually indicated in guidance at any point in the antenatal period.

I hope you’re ok op. Book in for a private scan if you can’t wait till 20 weeks.

This happened to me at 17 weeks. I also did the polite 'no no it's fine' thing and then had booked a private scan within days. Anyway that baby has just asked me to get her a crumpet with chocolate spread for breakfast 🤣 Hope you're okay op.

They did used to check at 16 weeks, years ago. But guidance has changed due to the amount of anxiety it causes when not found.

This really seems to vary area by area then. My 16 week appointment was last December, and as mentioned, I only remember a very few posts in my due date groups of people not getting to hear the heartbeat. It seemed to be offered to almost everyone.

I even have an anterior placenta and after a bit of shuffling around the heartbeat was found no problem.

@GinnyBee it’s not in NICE guidance to listen to the heartbeat at 16 weeks, but like I said in my trust all midwives do. Part of my job is welcoming new midwives into our trust and I’ve only had one or two who have come from trusts where this isn’t common practice. So I don’t think you are wrong! However, like I said earlier, if the midwife can’t find the heartbeat the woman is seen the same day on our assessment unit. It seems very cruel that any midwife would offer to listen to the heartbeat and then not be able to offer that service straight away if they are unable to find it, as it causes lots of anxiety for the women. So I really feel for you OP. Lots of aspects can affect whether the Midwife can hear the heartbeat, position of baby, BMI, placenta site, uterus shape… and it’s really really normal for symptoms to drop off between 12-16 weeks!

My trust takes the stance the nice guidance says NOT to do it. Community midwives are audited on this to make sure they’re not doing it routinely.

When pregnant with DD I heard the heartbeat at 16 weeks (5 years ago) but last year when expecting DS despite having the same midwife I didn't. I was told they aren't allowed to check at 16 weeks because if they can't find if (which she said is common) they are not allowed to refer for a scan so it can cause unnecessary anxiety for 4 weeks, which it would've done for you if you hadn't been allowed a scan.

I just feel like a have a terrible gut feeling that they will scan tomorrow and tell me baby stopped growing a week or so ago when I started feeling different. I don't feel like they are with us anymore. I really hope I'm wrong

I can't offer any advice OP, but just want to send you the biggest hug, and hope that everything is OK x

Aw my heart goes out to you, it's such a worrying time. Really hope baby is just well hidden in there and playing hard to get!

I heard the heartbeat at my 16 week appointment last time but it took the midwife a while to find it and I remember the anxiety while she was looking for it so well.

At 16 weeks I also went through similar. Not feeling pregnant at all. Was worried as well so got a private scan. All was good.
My midwife who i saw later, always checked the heartbeat at every appointment with her little doppler thing from 16 weeks.
I think it can happen she doesnt find it but for peace of mind I'd do the scan.

Good luck OP x

The checking at 16 weeks varies by area. My due date buddy had hers checked at 16 weeks, my area was 24 weeks .

Wishing you all the best op, pregnancy can be a very scary and stressful time. Take the scan, it will help you

Good luck for today @OopsImDoingItAgain x

Unfortunately the OP had bad news today x

I’m so sorry OP. I know I don’t know you but I was thinking about you all day and waiting for a positive update.

Any updates op?

I’m so sorry 😢 x

So sorry to see this OP xxx