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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Have you told anyone ?

23 replies

thunderonlyhappenswhenits · 18/03/2022 12:31

I'm 10.4 weeks today and seems a few ppl know now ! My two friends, both our parents, and both of our sisters. This is a very longed for baby after believing I couldn't do it naturally again and struggles with ivf and mc. Our famous and friends know all we've been through. I always thought it'd be kept completely secret until 12 weeks but it's hard 😆 I'm just excited ! My friend just massages me saying she hopes I'm okay as there is lots of babies around atm and it just be making me emotional and sending me baby dust, how could I not tell her after that ? Lol
Tell me I'm not alone and others have let it slip? I feel naughty because it's always drummed into you about waiting until after the 12 week scan, I know I'm not far off now and I have seen baby earlier this week

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DoucheCanoe · 18/03/2022 12:38

Congratulations :)

I'm not pregnant ATM but I told my close family and friends straight away (at 5 weeks) with both pregnancies, I guess other people just found out along the way but I never made any announcements so they may/may not have known earlier.

Unfortunately things can happen at any stage whether people were aware of not but I knew that I'd want/need support from those closest.

Original poster

thunderonlyhappenswhenits · 18/03/2022 13:35

This is it, my last pregnancy was hush hush and I miscarried so this time I said I'm going to embrace it and know I've got people behind me!

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Jupiter92 · 18/03/2022 13:39

Congratulations!! I think it's lovely you're sharing your joy. It's personal preference really. I told my mum and dad very soon after we found out because I was so excited and even the thought of telling them made me cry!!
I also told some friends before 12 weeks too, it's my first baby and I'm just so excited so I totally understand what you're saying.

takemeawayyy · 18/03/2022 13:45

Congratulations
I'm nearly 10 weeks also an only told my DH and now our nurse.
I'm not supprised your exited and want to tell everyone !
I so wish I could shout it from the root tops but I can't incase we can't go ahead with the pregnancy, we have bloods done within the next 2 weeks to see if the baby's healthy or not then il be having a party and surprising everyone with a happy healthy baby (hopefully)

DillDanding · 18/03/2022 13:50

We were so excited with our first that we told some friends the day we got a positive test at 6 weeks. We’d vowed we wouldn’t but we went out for dinner with them and they asked us direct and we just blurted it out.

We didn’t tell anyone else, even our parents, until 16 weeks.

The next time, we managed to keep it under our hats to 20 weeks.

Original poster

thunderonlyhappenswhenits · 18/03/2022 14:14

Aw thanks for the congrats.
Wow 20 weeks no way I'd be able to keep it that long I think I would burst !
I'm not on any social media or anything so will just tell ppl as I speak to them I think.
I wouldn't do a big announcement anyways as after what we've been through I know how hard it is seeing them
Time has stood still the last few weeks !

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Rrrob · 18/03/2022 14:21

18+3 and haven’t told parents yet…..

Arecklessmanor · 18/03/2022 15:37

We didn't tell people until well after the 20 week scan. My sister told me before the pee had dried on her pregnancy test.

Do what feels right for you and hope this pregnancy works out for you, congratulations 💐

TheBirdintheCave · 18/03/2022 16:08

We told our parents, siblings and some close friends immediately. Work colleagues and some other friends knew at 12 weeks and Facebook around 16 weeks.

Kirsike · 18/03/2022 17:50

Just got to 9 wks and aside from fiancee no-one knows.. I was undecided on how long to keep it but other half was rather vocal about getting 12wk scan done beforehand. Am struggling with the constant lying, to the point I cancelled on an afternoon tea a couple of weeks ago so I don't have to find an excuse why I'm not drinking. Now also dodging a house warming invite as no excuse seems plausible enough😬. So any ingenious suggestions on reasons for not drinking very welcome here as got exactly 3 wks until my scan! 🥳

TheBirdintheCave · 18/03/2022 18:16

@Kirsike Say you’re on antibiotics? Or that you’re driving?

Cheetocat · 18/03/2022 20:21

I'm 6w3d and we've only told my sister and a staff member of the pharmacy just now.

Arecklessmanor · 19/03/2022 05:21

@Kirsike saying you're on antibiotics is practically a pregnancy announcement!

You're better off fake drinking if it's a party or event where you could get away with that and not mentioning that you're not drinking. I did this and people genuinely didn't know, but it helped that they were getting too pissed to be properly observant.
If you don't drink and people are rude enough to ask or speculate (in my experience people are, I've seen it with work colleagues gossiping and had it directed at me when I definitely was not pregnant but bloated due to IBS) you can either tell them to mind their own business or that if you have news to share you will when you're ready. Though these also kind of give the game away but they will probably know you are pregnant.
Or make out that they're saying you're fat and turn it around on them.

If you aren't too bothered about them knowing you could say it's very early days. But it doesn't sound like you want to say that. I've noticed many pregnancies and never said anything, just wait to be told and offer congratulations.

Firsttimetrier · 19/03/2022 06:58

@Kirsike I did a wedding, NYE and a dinner out during the first 12 weeks and no one had a clue I wasn’t drinking!
A house party will be so easy to cover up “drinking” as you just bring soft drinks with you. You could even put non-alcoholic wine in an old and clean wine bottle.
For the dinner and wedding, I rang the restaurant and venue in advance and explained that I’m pregnant but not announced just yet, so would it be possible to make my G&T’s or cocktails just tonics or mocktails discreetly. They were fantastic and did just that.

AnIckabog · 19/03/2022 07:36

I had to tell my entire (large) work team at 5 weeks because I'm so ill.
Also told my family and close friends because if I miscarry I will want their support. I hate the social convention of not being 'allowed' to tell until 12 weeks. It feels like a misogynistic way to make women keep quiet about their inconvenient miscarriages that no one wants to have to talk about. It should be up to the individual woman; if you want to tell people early, tell them. If you don't because you are a private person, that's fine too. I think it's cruel that society tells women with severe hyperemesis etc that they should keep quiet and battle on without support and understanding. Equally, why should women announce at 12 weeks what is going on in their uterus?

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 19/03/2022 07:39

We have ivf to conceive DS so our immediate family and very close friend knew on OTD as they had supported us through it. My work also knew at around 9 weeks as there were a few bits I couldn't do.

In pregnant again naturally and we told our parents a few days after we knew. We were so excited. Then told people as we went along. I kept worrying a bit but then telling people isn't going to cause a miscarriage and if that unfortunately ldid happen I think I would need the support.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Kirsike · 19/03/2022 08:16

@arecklessmanor yes, agree on the antibiotics thing but had to go with the 'am on meds atm' to cover a last min work dinner, unfortunately small group, all seated so no way to fake drink.. In general not bother but really want my/partners family be the first to know rather than some random work folk or friends.
@firsttimetrier that sounds rough timing! So great how the wedding was able to accommodate though!
@anIckabog sorry to hear you were kind of forced into telling work. And I absolutely agree with you on this unwritten rule for the exact same reason!! It absolutely should not be forced on you to not tell just because its 'the norm' and therefore make discussing miscarriage a taboo. I personally don't mind either way just find it would be easier if we'd maybe shared with family but due to mine all being abroad I kind of think it be better not to say anything until 'safer'. What I personally find annoying is the shock I had when reading up about statistics and how common mc actually are, never had a clue until I got my +result. Just think it's about time it's normalised to a degree and not hidden.

CSR721 · 20/03/2022 14:20

I can't keep my gob shut 😂 OH told me off (jokingly) for telling so many people. My 2 bffs knew as soon as I got a faint positive, I told a few more friends next day, and have let work know (not everyone just my immediate team and my bosses). Then a week later I told another small group of friends as we were going out for drinks. I'm having an early scan next week at 7w+6 and all being well we will tell family after that. Everyone else will wait til 12 weeks

CurbsideProphet · 20/03/2022 15:32

I'm 9 weeks and we have told work managers (I'm off with bad sickness), immediate family and a few close friends as they know we have been going through IVF. For me it's not about keeping it a "secret" until a certain point, it's knowing we will have some support if my terrible sickness continues, or if I miscarry again. I haven't been able to go out and I definitely look ill, so I wouldn't be able to hide it if, for example, my parents wanted to pop round. I don't think there should be any social rules for when to tell family and friends, it's what you feel is right for you and who will provide the right support.

ToCaden · 20/03/2022 19:51

My mother, sister, and work all knew before I was even pregnant as they supported me through ivf and told work due to appointments.

My brother was told around five or six weeks as we were all getting together for Xmas and he'd be the only one who didn't know which I felt was unfair for him.

Work colleagues were told last week (18 weeks) as they asked why I hadn't had my second covid jab until recently and it slipped out.

The only ones I kinda need to tell are cousins, aunts, who live far enough away that I don't see them often, but who will be annoyed if they don't find out until birth. Think I might do a Facebook announcement for them after twenty week scan.

fairgame84 · 20/03/2022 19:54

Everyone has known since 6 weeks as I've got hyperemesis and a huge bump. Im currently 10+2.

BFPfinally · 20/03/2022 19:58

11w2d today and not told anyone yet

Cocobeau · 21/03/2022 09:08

I'm 5 weeks and until yesterday my husband was the only person who knew. I have now told my best friend but I'm late 30's and have some health concerns so I have no desire to share it with people until I can see on a scan that everything is going ok. I will probably end up booking an early scan after my midwife appointment at 8 weeks. After that we will tell his parents and a couple of my siblings but aside from that, everyone else can wait until I feel like letting them know.

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