BFP after 7 years of secondary infertility. Worried about 9 year age gap between baby and Ds

[Raider4]

Well me and dh have been trying for 7 years, our first born is 9 in July. Absolute shock this week when I had a bfp. I cried happy tears, but now I’m not sleeping, I constantly worrying. I have so many emotions going on I’m not sure what to do with myself. I keep talking to dh but I can’t shift my feeling.
Im worrying it’s too big of an age gap (9years)
Im worrying that I can’t do birth and pregnancy again after all this time (had a terrible birth ended up with an emergency c-sec)
One minute I’m over the moon then these feelings creep up on me like what am I doing?
Was this really for the best?
How’s life going to change?
I don’t want my son feeling pushed out either, I’m very conscious of it as I felt like that when I was a kid there is 8 years between my brother and I and we don’t see each other very often or talk. I have another brother who is 9 years younger, a sister who’s 15 years younger and another brother who’s 17 years younger and we’re not massively close but I see them more than the first brother but I feel more of an adult to them if that’s makes sense not sister.I can only see what I’ve experienced, I also didnt grow up with my mum and dad together.

For my son though it would be ther complete opposite, I’d make sure he’s not feeling pushed aside, I’m married to his dad etc.

I’m not sure if it’s because no1 nos yet as it’s far to early, but I’m so conflicted.

I have an eight year gap to and am also not close.

I would say don't expect too much of your eldest. Let them figure out their relationship with their sibling themselves, right into adulthood, and don't make them feel like they 'should' feel something for their sibling they don't.

If you do that, and don't add the burden of your expectation onto their relationship, they may end up with something that works for them.

@CatherinedeBourgh
Thanks for the response.
He has been asking me for a few years for a brother of sister, he said he doesn’t care either if it’s a boy or girl. He told me last week he hates being on his own and he said it’s so unfair. So I think he’ll be made up when he finds out but just can’t help but worry. I’m a massive worrier. I overthink everything.

I understand, it's probably knocked you sideways getting a bfp after all this time.

He will probably be chuffed when you tell him, initially delighted and then fluctuate between incredibly loving and annoyed at the baby/toddler sibling. It's to be expected, at that age you can't possibly know what a baby or toddler is actually like and it would be unrealistic to expect him to.

I guess I would say let him have both feelings, don't get your hopes up too much if he's being delighted, loving and engaged and don't be too disappointed if he decides to lock himself in a room and ignore his sibling (specially in a few years when he hits puberty).