Hi everyone,
I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant (I'm 35 y/o) and thank God feeling fine - psychologically - at the moment. Physically things have always gone great with pregnancy, but I have OCD since i was 18 years old, and the month of February was not easy for me.
A bit of background: at 25 y/o, I started taking Clomipramine 10mg, a very small those, and that alone put my OCD under control for 10 years. OCD was related to obsessive thoughts but it never really gave me anxiety, I have never been an anxious person, I would just be tired of thinking/wondering about these thoughts and checking, but it wasn't something that would cause me extreme stress. When started to try to get pregnant, and because Clomipramine is not safe during pregnancy, I decided to go off of it. After a couple of months, I felt some signs of ocd coming back, but very mild and I was doing fine, it wasn't interfering with my mood or day-to-day life, more of a "oh, this is an ocd thought, gonna ignore it".
I got pregnant and the first 4 months of pregnancy were great, no anxiety, no bad ocd. Just feeling completely normal. Then as I entered the 18th week, I started doing the renovation in my house which made me leave my house for a hotel, where I would stay 5 weeks. It was here that I really suffered: on Feb 2nd I had a bad case of ocd, but which was not accompanied by anxiety. This bad patch of ocd - related to the pregnancy - lasted until the Feb 13th, and the heavy car traffic around the hotel made it very difficult to have comfortable nights, so I was sleeping really badly, which didn't help. Then, on Feb 13th, my first experience with intense anxiety started, not a panic attack, but intense anxiety and really bad sleep. I immediately thought: this is bad. I immediately asked for help: I left the hotel and talked to my parents (they live next to my home), my husband was supporting me in every second, immediately found a cognitive behavioral therapist, and 2 days later, was in therapy for ocd and anxiety. I also had an appointment with my obgyn, who told me there is medication that is relatively safe for pregnancy, so I also scheduled a perinatal psychiatric appointment, for March 16th. I moved hotels, which helped but I was still missing my home and not getting great sleep. I was able to return home on March 1, and that coincided with the OCD receding and getting much better. For a week, I had no OCD, but I had these really weird physical symptoms of generalized anxiety, a permanent feeling of anxiety not associated with any particular bad thought or fear, at least consciously. After 5 days, that permanent anxiety disappeared, I'm back home, and have been feeling normal and relaxed since then.
Still, I kept my appointment with the psychiatrist and she prescribed me Sertraline 50mg, saying that third trimester will likely bring my ocd back, that she has all her ocd patients medicated during pregnancy and that anxiety is worse for the neurologic development of the baby than the low risks associated with taking Sertraline. At the same time, I read all this stuff about Sertraline in pregnancy and while it seems to be the safest option during pregnancy to treat ocd and anxiety, studies are confusing and the possible slight increase (even though still low in absolute terms) of autism, preterm birth, or lung syndrome after birth, baby feeling withdrawal,etc., scared me. At the same time, researchers seem to not know whether for autism or preterm birth, it's the underlying condition or the medication that slightly increases the risk. And 50mg is apparently a low dose.
I basically have no idea what to do. I'm back home and feeling well, like I felt during the first 4 months of pregnancy. But the psychiatrist is strongly in favor of me taking it. The doctors says it's relatively safe. It seems like not doing medication and having anxiety may be worse for the baby that taking it. But at the same time, because I'm feeling normal and safe back at home, i'm struggling with the decision.
I know ultimately it's my decision, only I know how I feel inside in terms of anxiety, but would you guys have opinions/past experiences that might help?
Thanks and so sorry for the long text!