Too old to have a baby?

[WhoEvenKnows987]

In your opinion what age would you say is too old to be pregnant with a baby? Is late 30s too old?

Oh give over OP

When it comes to statistical “risk factors” don’t be put off as they are mostly very, very nominal.

For example the chance of having a baby born with a deformity increases by 100% after 35. Sounds terrifying, but before 35 the chance is 0.5% so that means after 35 it goes up to 1%. So after 35 you still have a 99% chance of having a bad by with no deformities.

I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks aged 35. I’m now sitting here with my perfectly healthy 3 month old DC at 36.

Mid 40s, give or take a few. This is the age generally dictated by nature and I think it's reasonable (same age for IVF pregnancies too). I also think mid 40s is reasonable for most men (and would be the case if they generally partnered with women their own age).

That said, I know of several fathers older than that whose children love them very much are very glad they weren't prevented from being born.

I think this is a very personal thing. I'm 37 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and im 38 ( dp is 42). My cut off age I think would be 40 but had this been my 1st baby and wanted more I more than likely would've added a couple of years on to that.

For me age 35.
Job market ageism is bad and wouldn't want to be 56 trying to earn to support young adult at uni.
Depends what you want for your child and your own retirement pot and career really.

One and only IVF/ICSI baby at 38.

It's all about risk with maternal age so no actually limit other than what you as an individual feel comfortable with.

Before I had kids I would have said 40. However I had my first at 39 followed by a lot of losses then my 2nd at 43. Would not change it for the world, but my age limit for trying just kept on getting pushed higher as I fell pregnant easily but with old eggs! It finally paid off!

For me personally I'd stop trying at 35 and would have focused on building a full life without children. That was my plan before children. I've been very blessed and conceived easily and my family is complete so whether I would have stuck to that or not is debatable. For what it's worth I had my first at 29 and was one of the youngest at baby groups and on school runs in my area. I never gave much thought to mums being older, just wherever they were my kind of mum to pass the hour or so chatting at a group!

@drpet49

40 and over is too old

Thanks

I'm 41 and pregnant.

These comments are interesting.

I was 18 when I had my first, now unexpectedly pregnant at 39 with my second. I never wanted to be an older mum but this miracle pregnancy as we both had fertility issues and conceived naturally after trying since 2001. My views have changed now, when u wash younger I would have said that I'm too old.

@Carebear99

These comments are interesting.

I was 18 when I had my first, now unexpectedly pregnant at 39 with my second. I never wanted to be an older mum but this miracle pregnancy as we both had fertility issues and conceived naturally after trying since 2001. My views have changed now, when u wash younger I would have said that I'm too old.

*when I was younger....

It's interesting how the average age for having babies is different in different areas. When I had my youngest I was the oldest on the ward at 32. There were 2 ladies in their late 20's having a 3rd baby with a new partner after a biggish age gap (their older dc were late primary age). The rest were teenagers. At school I'm somewhere in the middle age wise when compared with dc1's friends mums. With dc5 there are 3 of us who are approaching 40 and we all have older dc in secondary school as well as our youngest dc in year 3. The rest are all late 20's and early 30's

@CallMeDaddy58

When it comes to statistical “risk factors” don’t be put off as they are mostly very, very nominal.

For example the chance of having a baby born with a deformity increases by 100% after 35. Sounds terrifying, but before 35 the chance is 0.5% so that means after 35 it goes up to 1%. So after 35 you still have a 99% chance of having a bad by with no deformities.

I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks aged 35. I’m now sitting here with my perfectly healthy 3 month old DC at 36.

1% chance of chromosomal disorders seems pretty high to me.

Late 30s is not at all too late.
I think it's far better to have two parents around a similar age than say a 38-year-old woman and a 57-year-old man. Older sperm along with older eggs, increases the risk of autism and Downs Syndrome.

I had two TMFRs between 39-40 because of trisomies. So I was older. My husband was also 14 years older and we were told that BOTH our ages, not just mine, had been a contributing factor.

That said, lots of older couples have perfectly healthy babies. I too am proof of that. I had DCs 2 and 3 at 38 and 42.

Most of my friends are planning to start families in there late 30s. My cut off age is 40 personally if I decide to have a second. I know someone who had her first at 42 and second at 45. X

Depends on the individuww we l woman.

Egg quality, existing health, family conditions thwt may mean a shorter life span, higher risk for twins/GD/PE etc whilst pregnant... these all play a part.

Some mid 30s is old enough when they have several of these factors.

Where someone else mid 40s would be fine.?

@flyhighshiningstar

For me age 35. Job market ageism is bad and wouldn't want to be 56 trying to earn to support young adult at uni. Depends what you want for your child and your own retirement pot and career really.

This is a fair point. We plan on sending them to private schools and have dc, and can’t assume our mid 50somwards salaries stay at the same level. It’s shit but better to plan for it than pretend it’s not a thing.

And have a mortgage I should say, obviously we have dc, it’s not the pot plants we are sending to private schools.

If you can get pregnant and have a baby, you're not too old, though I do have a bit of a raised eyebrow at very rich people having babies via surrogate in their fifties just because I think it's a little sad for the child. But then they won't know any different.

Personally I would really like to be done by 35 - hoping for 30, 32 and 34. But it's impossible to know whether that will happen and it's a fully arbitrary cut off based mostly on internalised ageism. Most of the women I know would consider the whole of your thirties to be baby having time.

Had mine at 36. Difficult pregnancy and birth but not because of age, just underlying medical stuff that isn't age-related.

If you can get pregnant and have a baby, you're not too old

Assuming you are using your own eggs though.

Personally for me 40 but 42 I guess would be an absolute limit

I got told by a midwife today that I’m too young to have children… I’m 25. For me personally I wouldn’t want to still be having children after 35, it’s a struggle for my body at 25! I think as long as you can conceive and you’ve no major risk factors there’s no reason to let age stop you.

I have had dc in my teens, 20's, 30's and 40's.. People have had something to say at all ages!

It's just so personal .. I don't think late 30s is old ... I had my DS at 42. I do think under mid 20s is too young ... but plenty of women have DC that age or younger ... I can only relate it to my personal circumstances and no way would I have wanted to have a DC at such a young age ... but equally I know many women would be horrified to have a baby in their 40s. The best thing is to have confidence in your own decision and not worry about what anyone else does or thinks.

I was contemplating finishing having babies by 40, that’s always been my mental cut off. I have to admit I’m considering extending it to 41 to try for a 4th but it’s very early days on that thinking and Dh would have to be on board!
It all depends also. Many women do have healthy babies in their 40s but their chances are lower than for younger women and the risks higher. If you have a partner and know you want babies you shouldn’t wait that long, but many don’t get that choice earlier.